For some reason, I get that lump throat feeling randomly. Like, I'm not meant to cry in this situation. Maybe I'm just on the verge of having a mental breakdown, but it never gets to happen.


Happened to me earlier today. No idea why


throat tightness is a very common anxiety symptom


I get it right before a panic attack. Like I'll suddenly feel the need to burst into tears, and get the lump, and then I gotta sit down.


your body usually shows emotion before your brain realizes it's feeling said emotion


I had a major frying breakthrough this year. Was able to cry properly for the first time in almost two decades. Now I've gone the other way. I've gone from "lump in throat" to "sobs at the drop of a hat". 😅 The grass *is* greener, but I'd still like some balance with it all one day.


Major frying breakthrough. Like onion rings and tater tots in the same basket?


Maybe even a couple chicken nuggets


It will eventually happen, just need the right amount of stress to flip that switch.


I went crazy and started breaking shit around my house


Yeah, that's probably you having bottled up emotions that you are unaware of and are barely keeping in check


Hey. Calm down there. I'll stuff shit down as I please, thank you very much.


I’m pretty sure you may be having anxiety


I do feel anxious around people. I think it's been called "social anxiety".


Do make time to process/feel emotions? No? You should probably do that before it comes out on its own. Easier said than done, I know. I'm working on it too.


This is me like all the time 😃 I gotta live with it unfortunately until I get a stable job so I can afford therapy


This has no right being So relatable


The fact that so many people relate to this isn't exactly a good sign


Sometimes I get it at the back of my throat if I’m overwhelmed in anger or sorrow, or if I’m just generally sad I get a feeling at the back of my eyes




I probably won't, but sure 🤙


What they say?


They just asked to tell me to tell them when I found out




thats why i dont watch sad movies now, cuz i feel sad, i feel like crying, i know that the throat pain will go way if i just cry and let it out but i just cant for some reason lol.


*adds lol to make it seem less depressing*


Didn’t even notice myself doing this until recently but I do it after every cry for help now lol


It's really a struggle lol


You know what fuck you too lol.


I do the opposite. I watch sappy YouTube videos so I can at least feel emotion via other people and let it out sometimes. The sad part is half the time I'm crying because of the video, and the other because I know I'll never have what they have.


This is basically why im 10% of the anime watcher i used to be. I feel like a starving dog watching a kfc presentation show.


I watched "Man On Fire" with Denzel Washington. That bit at the end.


Your not human if that bit doesnt upset you


That's really the only time that I allow myself to cry a little, I bottle up everything else.


Don't be sad. Here's a [hug!](https://media.giphy.com/media/3M4NpbLCTxBqU/giphy.gif)


I cant watch sad movies anymore because of years of emotional turmoil


Don't be sad. Here's a [hug!](https://media.giphy.com/media/3M4NpbLCTxBqU/giphy.gif)




That’s not just what happens? I thought that’s what “choked up” meant, you’re physically being choked by the need to cry vs the instinct to not make a scene


I’ve always assumed it meant choking down the emotions to stifle your emotional response 😳


I had about the phrase “choking up” referring to crying


It is just what happens. It's a completely normal [biological reaction](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.refinery29.com/amp/en-us/lump-in-throat-feeling-crying-globus-pharyngeus) and you may as well say "Getting a dry throat when you're thirsty means you're emotionally repressed."


non-AMP link: https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/lump-in-throat-feeling-crying-globus-pharyngeus also.. did you read the whole thing? cause it says: The medical term for a lump in your throat is "globus pharyngeus," says Christopher Chang, MD, an otolaryngologist in Warrenton, VA. "The lump sensation is due to a muscle tightening up when sadness is being suppressed," he says. that reads to me exactly as fighting back crying to avoid causing a scene.


did you read the whole thing? “Whether you're openly happy crying watching Tv or trying to keep it together while someone delivers sad news….. this lump-in-the-throat feeling is normal, and not something you should fight. The medical term for a lump in your throat is "globus pharyngeus," says Christopher Chang, MD, an otolaryngologist in Warrenton, VA. "The lump sensation is due to a muscle tightening up when sadness is being suppressed," …. For most people, the lump and tightness goes away as they start to cry. But sometimes, during periods of extreme stress (like while going through a breakup or studying for final exams), people report feeling a lump in their throat that lasts for weeks, he says.”


This doesn't seem to contradict what they wrote.


It happens if you hold back a cry, before you cry, if you cry too long. Its just a part of the muscles you use. They just isolated the suppression part of the article


Even in your quote: "The lump sensation is due to a muscle tightening up **when sadness is being suppressed**".


Yes but not exclusively. This article explains it in a bit more detail on what the muscles are doing :) “Normally, when you aren’t crying, your glottis opens and closes when you swallow all day long. This ensures that food and spit go one way and air goes the other, with no mix-ups in between. But, when you cry or are on the verge of crying, your glottis is trying to stay open, but gets forced close every time you swallow. This tension messes with the muscles in your throat, giving the sensation of a lump.” https://www.sciencealert.com/why-do-we-get-a-lump-in-our-throats-when-we-re-sad


Maybe the "on the verge of crying" is the key here. The last few years when I cried, I didn't have any lump, neither before when I was alone. When I had the urge of crying, I cried, I wasn't on the verge of crying if it makes any sense to you like this. Edit: so if you don't let yourself to cry for so long that you have to swallow between the urge to cry and the cry itself, I think that means you suppress it.


Ya makes sense. I get it MOST times i cry. But it happens EVERY time i am holding it back. It would probably be more straining to suppress and not release because maybe its like flexing really hard without a full motion? I dunno but it can also happen if you cry without holding anything back. And especially if you are really not holding back, if i cry too long i could have a strained lumpy throat for a few days, :) but its definitely not a tell tale sign of being emotionally repressed . Its very normal


I’m a guy, even now I can’t cry. I feel nothing most of the time.


I feel like the most genuine emotion I feel is love for others. Deep, bareback admiration and awe of how good some people truly are. My brain uses it as a measuring stick to show me how fucking worthless I am.


Jesus Christ, give me a head up before smashing me like that


“bareback admiration” made me chuckle. see? you have things to contribute and create joy.


Top ten most hurtful callout posts


I feel like an NPC


Here, go give gold to someone else. You are not worthless.


You mean there are other emotions besides "danger" and "standby"?


Anger and drinking.


Take care stranger


I've started to feel this so hard over the last year. I don't think that I'm worthless though, and neither should you. I got choked up at the end of The Bad Batch, and I'm a 30 year old man. So many other things though, too. Therapy does a number on you in a positive/somber way.


Same but it isn't love, because that would be too good of me. It's envy, always envy.


Same here.


The hugz award is all I can give, but I feel it's the most fitting one... I feel you bro


You’re not worthless. You’re human and we’re all trying to figure it out. If you need somebody to talk to always feel free to msg.


You did not have to call me out like that dude


Yoooo, I know the feeling. It's especially fun because I know I FEEL emotions. But outside of anger and happiness I don't ever truly know what the emotion is? And so I end up expressing most emotions with either anger or complete apathy. Thankfully I'm at least good at recognizing that my anger isn't usually actually anger, and more just anger at the fact I'm too emotionally retarded to know what I'm feeling. So I at least never get truly belligerent, just quiet and distant.


It’s called alexithymia


I didn't even know there was a word for it lmao Thanks for the information, friend.


I’m in this post and I don’t like it.


The closest I can get to crying is this pressure that builds up behind my eyes. It's like I want to let tears out, but I can't.




I just got back from the vet with my cat and 99% sure it's cancer due to how fast and aggressive it is the tumor on her cheek is. She lost her eye on that side already. Recommended euthanasia. Getting pain meds and antibiotics to ease her atm. Maybe a month if lucky. I'm so angry and frustrated and scared for her, and I feel the urge to bawl my eyes out but it won't fucking come.


My psychiatrist keeps asking me if such-and-such SSRI works any better than the last three and I'm like, "Yeah idk, none of these actually make me *feel* any different... all I can tell you is that I changed my sheets for the first time in like 6 months."


I'm like this. It's hard for me to cry. I get teary every now and then, but rarely cry. And when I have cried it almost feels forced. Like I'm just making myself cry and not doing it naturally? Feels weird.


Is it because you are not safe enough? I say this because I can only cry in the shower where I can be as loud as possible. When I cry I sound like a wounded beast and feel slightly relieved after that.


Oh gods. I'm a shower cryer too. "Oops got soap in my eyes again" ....for the third time today....


guy here too i just punch things until enough pain has accumulated to cry lol


this is true even shit that fucks me up i still just.. can’t cry


Except a deep, unyielding, sense of anxiety and dread.


Reading about childhood emotional neglect changed my life. The way we’re raised as boys, virtually every one of us suffers from it in some way. Your parents don’t teach you how to deal with emotions, or denigrate you for having them (“boys don’t cry” et al) so you gradually learn they’re bad and do your very best to shut them off. The emotions don’t go anywhere, tho. They just build up inside. It often leads to exactly the lack of feeling you’re describing, combined with a deep, constant sense of unease and rare but explosive emotional outbursts. The book I read is called “Running on Empty” if you want to check it out for yourself. I cannot recommend it more strongly.


I've cried earlier today and also yesterday. I cry all the time whenever I watch tv-shows/movies. Barely has to be sad to be enough to make me cry


nice rhyme


You can cry dude.


Not that easy, dude


Some people just can't. Something snapped while growing up due to trauma and I just can't cry anymore. Trust me, I've been trying for years. Crying would help me manage my stress and anxiety. I wish I was normal.


Does everyone not get that lump/pain in the back of their throat before they cry??? Like crying is kinda painful tbh


They do. This post just kinda overanalyzes a normal thing and makes it seem like you're emotionally repressed.


lump--> cry = not repressed lump--> no cry = repressed


It worked really well, too. Check the top comments. They're wallowing in it.


Not always. It hasn't been painful for me for years, basically since I started to get better emotionally. And before that it wasn't painful when I was alone, only when someone was there, so I thought I shouldn't cry.


I honestly don’t know what any of you are talking about, I genuinely don’t know what the lump feels like. I cry maybe twice a month for various reasons, and I do cry at sad movies. I’ve always heard the term but I cannot relate, I don’t know that it feels like to feel a lump in my throat when I’m sad. My eyes tingle and sting when I try to repress crying, is that something you all have?


After a traumatic event in 2013, I've been completely incapable of crying. Like, I was a huge crybaby before then, but ever since that event I've been seemingly physically incapable of crying. It's like I've got a blockage or something, idk. Kinda the same thing as this post, too


Kind of the opposite happened to me. I was allowed and encouraged to express myself, but I just… didn’t. I was very stoic and didn’t really cry for most of my life, and then a couple of tragic events made me start crying at things. It still takes me a lot of effort and don’t really know how to do it, but the choking up comes a lot more often these days. Also, I’m really sorry about whatever it was that happened to you. I hope you can heal someday <3


What event tho?


A combination of losing a family member, and being abused. Kinda personal, so I'd rather keep it there, thanks


Undertand, wish u best


Thanks man, and good luck with whatever you need it for


Thanks man, stay safe


Holy shit exact same thing happened to me except in 2017-2019. Hope you get over your blockage. I’m working on it through brainspotting but its not easy to unblock something that has ingrained itself so deeply. Wish you the best


I feel like I expressed so much as a child I no longer have the ability to cry.


Relate and you're my hair twin!




I’ve found the ability to cry again after lots of “practice.” While I love to give emotional support to others I can’t cry in front of others even after months of therapy and ‘finding’ myself. Guess I’m just waiting for someone to give me love support and acceptance. It is possible to climb out of the hole! Never give up, because the alternative is much worse.


Beep boop -- this looks like a screenshot of a tweet! Let me grab a [link to the tweet](https://twitter.com/witchashtyn/status/1432100169999323139) for ya :) ^(Twitter Screenshot Bot)






Heh, yeah.. (•_•)


I do this but I was allowed to express emotions? Like I haven’t cried in a long while and whenever I do it’s over something stupid, like losing to the kingsmould in the path of pain in hollow knight


Ayy, thank god I'm not the only person who's shed tears over that game-


Life is suffering :(


i am BEGGING y’all to stop pathologizing every single thing to ever exist. The pain in your throat before you cry is called the Glottis Sensation and it’s a completely normal physiological response. it has nothing to do with your childhood 😭


True but people will take any chance they get to vent (including me lmfao)


I get the pain. But my parents were 17 and 18 when I was born so it's not really their fault. If I had a kid at that age I probably would have abandoned them in front of a fire department. Or just offed myself lol




I feel called out.


i don’t think that lump or pain is a big deal, i mean i feel it most of the time i have to cry?


Whenever I cried as a kid, my dad would beat me with his belt because "men don't cry".


So sorry. That’s just wrong.


W8 w8 w8. Not everyone get's that feeling in the back of their throat when they need to cry?


Literally everyone. Hormonal response forcing your glottis open for increased air intake, since your body is interpreting strong emotion as the need for a fight or flight response. Zero to do with childhood trauma lol.


I have lost the ability to cry. But hey, I can reason my way out of every emotion.


Just got out of a relaitionship and i cant even fucking cry about it, god i hate existing


Express emotions? What's that? O.O When I get angry /sad/anxious/ any negative emotion ever i just go numb cause it's not acceptable to be anything but happy infront of my parents :) any other emotion is crocodiles tears worth of bs and a tantrum I'm throwing to disrespect them :) Life is good guys


i barely even feel emotions. it's just this sort of crushing emptiness pulling me down ever deeper


Can you talk to anyone?


probably. not likely to happen.


Can I ask why? Sorry if that’s a lot.


sure, i don't care. to both, you can ask, and it's the answer. talking to people doesn't really help everyone, i'm antisocial so i don't really want to go around talking to people anyway, more often than not, they actually don't fucking care and are either just being polite, feeling put upon, or they do care, and now they're concerned for your mental well being but can do fuck all to help you AND now they're upset i'm also not really looking to 'get better' at this point. i don't care. i'm just trying to get to the end of this bullshit with as little additional bullshit in my life, because it's just not worth it. i've been in therapy half my fucking life, hsn't helped my depression one iota. ​ also, as an aside, this isn't really the place for this. it's a meme site for depression memes. it's more the sort of go 'yeah, relateable' and move on. people here aren't looking for a sympathetic ear or anything, it's all just a waste of time so you're less focused on your own mind. it's not a crisis center ish thing, it's just an escapism.


I was just asking. Didn’t mean to upset you. Sorry, and may you find some peace unlooked for. I need it too.


you didn't upset me, dood.


Whenever I need to cry, I just yawn and it goes away


Uh neither cuz I can’t cry


For me it's more I never feel anything, just satisfaction/disappointment on how my art piece turned out


When I was younger, I couldn't cry, but I thought it was just overrated. Like, why would I ever cry? Being not able to do it isn't a great problem. Ooh boy, I was so very wrong


This hit home


I was, but I'm a boy, so got it anyway.


Wait people feel happy as an emotion? My emotions I feel are angry/agitated, sad, and RARELY, excited? But that last one could be anxiety too.


Don't be sad. Here's a [hug!](https://media.giphy.com/media/3M4NpbLCTxBqU/giphy.gif)


Don't be sad. Here's a [hug!](https://media.giphy.com/media/3M4NpbLCTxBqU/giphy.gif)


God damn it


Honestly I don't even get the lump anymore I just kinda go dead.


Pretty sure that’s just a natural side effect of having to cry, not some sign of childhood repression.


Is that what that is? I can't even cry when I want to.


Sometimes I think I have strep or a tonsil stone but I’m just really angry and sad at the same time.






you didn’t really need to call me out like that but aiight


Wow this brought back memories I didn’t want to relive. I still get that feeling though, just not as much anymore. Guess that’s a good thing


Is that... not supposed to happen?


Yo... what did I ever do to you to get called out like this? My back throat pain is mine 😑


:p oops


Wait, that pain isn't normal to all people?


wait you mean to tell me that pain in my throat when im about to cry isn't normal?




Ascribing an utterly normal biological function to "mY tRaUmA". Classic social media. Heightened emotion gets interpreted by your body as the need for a fight-or-flight response. The hormones that come with this work to open your glottis wide to maximise oxygen intake. When you swallow in this state, you're feeling pressure on your glottis that isn't usually there. But no, it's because your parents were mean to you. Or too nice to you? Or indifferent to you. Whichever thing you're choosing to blame your failings on today.


This strikes Me to a corner, I thought I knew but damn, I'm sorry that others feel this way too.


I was allowed to "go fuck yourself" when I was in pain/need.


I know emotions, it's how we call and calculate the movement of multiple electrons


I was not allowed to express emotions. I'm almost 40 and a women and I still can't cry.


My parents don't care if I cry or not but somehow I got it in my head that I shouldn't and now I can't. I'm doing perfectly fine. Pretty sure


I feel somehow attacked. What happened to my younger self?


And it's a loop... When you feel it you get frustrated because of it, which makes you want to cry more...


But when happy, too. Like, can’t hardly give a compliment without the lump…


Hope you do well!


Technically I was told I could but than shit on for doing it, so lumb. Lord of the rings helps, no joke.


Shit, that's what that is???


Hello, my name is John and I am All knowing Ask me anything and I'll answer


This sub just got more real than usual


Damn… and here I thought that was normal..


I was allowed to I just wanted to be a tough kid. Now I regret


I feel that all the time. If I cried, I was called a crybaby. But if I didn’t, I was called heartless. So I learned to embrace my “heartless” nature on the outside, but cry in silence and when I was alone.


I’m an adult and I still can’t express emotion among family.


There was a time in my childhood and teenage when I'd cry a lot. Now I no longer do it, and I actually prefer it that way because I hate that when I'm crying my eyes starts hurting.


Sometimes i get these odd sniffles randomly. Like, when you are crying and the way you breath isnt very straight


I'm a grown-ass adult and literally *just* starting to wonder for the first time if maybe it wasn't kinda fucked up that my dad terrorized me for most of high school and once smacked the shit out of me because I had the audacity to accidentally block his hand on reflex....


Oh this one hurts


I cry like twice a week but not in front of people. Crying good for clearing the mind but I want to seem strong and stoic to others. Us men often go too far in emotional suppression especially with depression.


Or your inner voice tell you that you are a lil bitch and weak PS if you even think about crying So you masturbate


Yup. But not bc of my family or anything. I personally just don’t like to cry.


Y'all too accurate on this board


I wasn't allowed to get hugs as a child


That second one. I learned pretty early on to hide my emotions, that my parents viewed them as a burden.


I was allowed to express my feelings but I didn't cause I didn't want people to know


fuck off


When I was younger I cried when I was frustrated most of the time to the point where I stopped being comforted. Know what stops you from crying? Bite your tongue. Hard.


Pain in the back of the throat definitely


Also if you get a pain in your elbow when you hit your elbow it means your second grade teacher was emotionally distant and you need a therapist ASAP


I cry like a baby and still get that choked up feeling. It’s totally valid way to express your feelings, as much as crying, means your just as emotional as anybody


I used to. It had been nearly ten years since I could remember the last time I had cried, but then I played a particularly emotional videogame in 2016 and it absolutely crushed me (Life is Strange for anybody curious). Now I cry for just about any reason. Very often for no reason at all.


*exactly* that feeling in the back of my throat


wait is that not part of crying for everyone?