Being polite/having manners


Learning. The simple ability to watch others do something and try to redo it yourself. Listening. Looking things up by yourself. And, goddamn, ASKING. All of these make up learning. Nowadays you'd have to add finding tutorials on youtube, but growing up I didn't have that.


Cooking eggs.... Fucking amateurs everywhere See also...walking in a non- invasive manner at the grocery store....GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MIDDLE OF THE ISLE....FUCK. Also, apologizing. Few do that these days sincerely.


Following an instruction manual. I heard people say "I don't know how to build an IKEA cupboard" . Neither do I, that's why they ship it with instructions


Instructions so simple they don’t even need to use word.


Using a washing machine and dryer.


Explaining things. If I explain something and someone tells me they don't understand, I explain it again, but frame or phrase it differently. I will never understand why so many people think just saying the exact same words again in a more exasperated/condescending tone is at all effective.


And louder. Please yell the same sentence again, it should clear things up.




People do this with my wife who is not a native English speaker. She understands almost everything, but sometimes regional dialects or older people are hard to understand (same for me when I’m using her language). But a lot of *professionals* she works with will aggressively repeat the same word she’s confused about when there are like 10 commonly used alternative words they could use and honestly it pisses me off because I’ve seen it happen so many times.


I had a friend who grew up with maids. He was 18 and gay and his family kicked him out. So he got this tiny little run down studio apartment in Los Feliz. He was super proud of it, and invited me to see it. He was using candles to light it when I got there (maybe to save money? Maybe to hide the blemishes?) and had left an ashtray on the floor, which I accidentally kicked and got (cold) ashes all over his carpet. He freaked the fuck out. “What do I do? How am I going to clean that?!” “With a vacuum?” I replied, confused as to why this was a mystery. He didn’t have one, so he went to ask the building manager if there was one he could borrow; which there was. He pulls this standard upright vacuum into the middle of the room and then stares at it. After a few seconds wondering what he was doing I asked “do you not know how to use a vacuum?” “No, you have to understand, we always had maids, I never even made a bed before last week.” So I plug it in, turn it on, and take it a couple times back and forth across part of the carpet. Then like a child with the Fisher-Price popper vacuum he went to work. He was over the moon excited. 25 years later it’s a favorite memory of that person.


At least he was willing to learn.


And had fun doing it


Best attitude tbh


I'm picturing a Saudi reverse Kimmy Schmidt


Tbh I feel bad for the person. Got deprived with basic life skills where in fact the person is very much willing to learn.


So thankful for my dad, who grew up dirt-poor but had really made something of himself by the time I was in middle school. He ingrained in us that no matter how well we succeeded financially in life, we always needed to know how to do things ourselves, even if just not to get scammed by folks we’d hire to do things for us. As long as I’m physically able, I’d rather DIY just for the learning experience. Except major plumbing and electrical. I’m not that egotistical. Haha


Awe I actually sadly relate to this guy... Glad it ended really sweetly though!! That's probably a very fond memory for him as well!! I didn't learn how to use a vacuum until I was 18. My boss at work assumed I knew how to use one... So I pretended to work. I was too embarrassed to tell her I didn't know how to use one. Until my co-worker walked by and asked if I needed help. I was super embarrassed, but she was very nice and taught me how to use it... She was my age as well, and she had always been super nice to me. My parents both never taught me how to do basic cleaning. In fact, I still don't know how to clean most things. We are a middle class family, both my parents worked growing up. My dad is very OCD or OCPD and he did all the cleaning in the entire house. He does not let anyone else clean anything, except dishes after eating, and he even then has strong opinions about how you clean the dishes sometimes... My mom used to clean the house, back when I was a baby, but she couldn't "clean things good enough" for my Dad's liking. So he would re-clean everything she cleaned. She got fed up with him re-cleaning and his criticisms of her cleaning so she stopped cleaning. He spends hours cleaning every single week. At least 1-2 hours a day cleaning the house when I come home to visit... Its like a stress or self soothing compulsion and I'm not sure which... Needless to say, I don't go home very often anymore. I don't feel like I'm allowed to be human or make messes when I am at home. Our house is always military level clean, but my Dad was never in the military... I just learned how to move through the world without making messes. I am very hyper-cautious and think intensely about thinks before I do them, looking out for possibly scenarios where I make a mess before I do something. Friends have commented on how I am so graceful when I eat, for example. I could be eating a really messy burger or sloppy joe and not get anything on my face/hands and barely anything on my plate... To this day I have a very weird relationship to cleaning. I hate doing it because I feel like its not "right" or "good enough" and I CANNOT stand other people watching me clean. It makes me insanely anxious. If I make a huge mess (which rarely happens) I panic and basically freeze up. Like if I knocked over an open container of milk and it all spilt on the floor, I would start crying and become overwhelmed immediately.




This is true. The floor always come out somewhat dirty every time I sweep it.


As I'm reading the comments, someone should do a good tutorial at cleaning floors.




See. I was coming here to say what I don't understand about mopping is you're just putting dirty water back on the floor. Using two buckets, which I've never seen anyone do, makes sense to avoid that.




It's tomorrow. How do you do that?


I believe he’s probably going to tell you to fold them into squares (fold in half then in half again in the opposite direction.) Now, find the corner where all edges of the washcloth are visible (the corner that looks like it has ‘pages’.) Take the top “page” of the washcloth, and fold it back, away from that corner and around the opposite corner. It’s like your almost turning the folds ‘inside out’. You should be exposing an entirely new, completely clean section of wash cloth. You can do this up to 8 times.


Manager at a movie theater. It’s bonkers how many 16 year olds have never even HELD a broom let alone successfully swept something. It’s wild.


I remember when a kid started at our local burger joint and literally didn't know how to hold the broom. The rest of us all were just like broooo. Edit: for all those asking how do you sweep wrong or hold a broom wrong - well one way is yah fucking grab the very tip top end of the broom with both hands together. It was exactly as much of a comedy show as you can believe. The kid was iced out with chains and studs and red faced hobbling around with the wimpiest most ineffective sweeps of the broom you can fucking imagine. The other 5 or so cooks took turns losing our shit busting our guts and imitating him before I finally took pity on the guy and showed him that yeah, you get a lot more strength in your "sweep" if you place one hand lower down on the broom and leave the other hand at the top. Then I had to watch him try to use a dustpan. Oh lord I'll never forget you Alec.


I kid you not, I lived with a guy once who had a butler his whole life. Things I taught him: 1. The funky knife with a hole in it is not useless, it's a potato peeler 2. You open cans with a can opener 3. Nothing needs to be microwaved for 10 minutes For the record, I really liked this guy and he was incredibly fun and kind.


I need to know what he put in the microwave for 10 minutes


One time as a kid I had just learned how tornadoes form( hot and cold air mixing, yay 8y.o. brain!). So I figured I'd make a tiny one in the mike, see what happens. Froze a few dog treats( to experiment) and then nuked em for 8 min. Burnt em, broke the plate, didn't see a tornado. Mom was angry tho Edit it to mention this being my most upvoted comment and to remark on the fact that I did pursue a science degree and my inquisitiveness shall forever know no bounds. Maybe I can get a giant microwave commissioned and we can make a tornado creator to clean up the Pacific garbage patch


I have to admire the sheer bravery and audacity of 8-year-old you. You learned about these natural disasters of catastrophically terrifying power, and then instead of being appropriately horrified by them, you decided 'I want to generate one of those *inside of my house.*'


I can just imagine: "And just WHY would you think it's a good idea to try to make a TORNADO in the microwave!?"


Laundry, especially emptying the dryer lint. So many places I’ve stayed had “bad driers” that were packed full of lint! How these people did not start a fire is amazing.


??? Peeling off the lint is the most satisfying thing and the only thing I look forward to with laundry.


“It won’t dry anything!” Well yeah, it’s choking to death


At home we don't have a dryer so I never had to learn how to use one. But the sims 4 taught me that I had to change the lint otherwise it would cause a fire after a couple times.


The Sims 4 teaching the real life skills you didn't learn irl. Legend


Learning skills from the Sims 4 works well until someone decides to wash the dishes in the bathroom sink.


THIS IS SO ANNOYING!!! They also meal prep on the Bathroom Counter. I had to put a decoration on the counter to stop it!


I'm shocked at how bad some people are at following writen directions. Not travel, but like... assemble furniture, follow a recipe or experiment, read an instruction manual.


And here I am thinking building Ikea furniture is fun


It's like Lego for adults! I love it so much. I've never built a PC, but I bet I'd love that too.


Have you seen how expensive Lego is? Lego is for adults


The furniture is cheaper, in a lot of cases!


IKEA instructions are actually very good. The only time I’ve ever had problems was when I get part way in and think “oh this is obvious, I know where this is going” and start skipping ahead without reading. In contrast, I ordered a gazebo on Amazon and went to put it together, the instructions were two pages. One page was the parts list and the other page was a sketch of the completed product labeled by part. It was like a hidden item puzzle from an old Highlights magazine.


Yes! Maybe it's because I grew up making plastic model kits but the instructions for Ikea are not hard at all.


> but the instructions for Ikea are not hard at all Especially when you see instructions for some other furniture companies.


I've written multiple FAQ's for our software most of which are basicly picture books with big red rectangles around the places where you need to click in addition to writing which option to click. I kid you not there are people who have read these instructions and told me the option is not there. I then had to ask them to read out the options they see on screen. I don't like doing that because its really embarassing for them and I feel embarassed for them. I tried telling them to just look again but most won't do then because they think I don't care then / won't believe them.


>I kid you not there are people who have read these instructions and told me the option is not there. This is when you respond with the original image with the option highlighted, except this time, you draw a big red arrow pointing to the rectangle. No other text, nothing else. I'm not kidding. I've been through this exact same scenario multiple times and it has only failed once, and that failure was fired a week or two later for incompetence.


This. Except, I have had to do this big obnoxious red arrow thing so often, this ended up being my default when writing any instructions. I prefer to make things as fool proof as possible than having to individually embarrass people by not being clear enough a toddler can follow in the first place. My usual instructions are followable by my audiences' 3 year old children.


It's still pretty amazing watching how some people use their phones and computers. Like you could give some leeway in the 90s and earlier, computers back then *were* fairly complicated for a lot of functions. But after 30+ years of design refinements to make them about as easy to use as possible, plenty of people, including younger people, interact with them as if they're afraid it will get mad at them personally if they mess up.


i'll never understand how my dad went from using DOS to doesn't know how to turn on wifi on windows




A few years ago, I worked at a loan company and had a customer who was literally illiterate (like his signature was just the letter X, he couldn't write his own name or read). He had his own business as a fisherman and later a fish dock and was able to buy a home,, support himself, spouse, and kids for decades running a business while literally being illiterate with no computer understanding. Like legitimately blows my mind, he even had great credit. As a millennial, I can't fathom being illiterate and being self employed and able to buy a house and raise a family. I'd love to interview him.


You’d be surprised what you can do being illiterate. I’m an educated native English-speaker but moved to Japan in 1998 without knowing practically any Japanese language, let alone the writing systems. There was some English signage around, and I had help from my company, friends, and coworkers but there was still a ton of stuff I had no idea about whatsoever. Now when it comes to official matters, visa renewals etc, it can be hard, but in so much of your day to day life it is easy to get by without being able to read or write. You get very good at memorising places or processes visually (Japanese cities having virtually no street names forces this adaptation, too); there turns out to be a surprising amount of visual support around, for example pictures on food packaging, or icons showing how to do something; and finally you do start to recognise frequently reoccurring character shapes, even if you can’t actually pronounce it or write it.


Being able and willing to figure stuff out. A lot of basic skills aren't that complicated. And in this day, if it is complicated, the internet almost certainly has dozens, hundreds, or more, tutorials. Quitting because "I don't know how" should not be the answer. I wish more were taught to figure things out, or seek the help/answers to get it done. EDIT: Being, not Begin


I used to work with someone that just didn’t have the curiosity to know how things worked. He would ask me for help for every little obstacle he encountered, every single one. It was tiring and I really don’t know how he made to life this far.


Being gentle with your things. Any time we get help from siblings and their spouses I'm astounded by how roughly they treat all of their things/how rough of a job they're ok with accepting. Also when assembling furniture.. My best mate put together a set of shelves using a drill as a driver on the short and easy to insert Allen keyed screws.. Stripped half of the heads and forced a few in at slightly off-angles and also stripped their threads a bit. Like what are you doing bro? Could have just used an Allen key by hand and put it together in the same time without damaging anything. Edit: a number of people have mentioned using their drill/driver with the right torque setting (and an appropriate amount of skill.!). Yes I agree this is perfectly fine! I didn't mean to say you should never use a driver to assemble furniture, but more that you should know how to use your tools, use what is necessary, and do it with the right level of enthusiasm/strength


This was what astonished me in the before-fore times, back when Blockbusters were still everywhere. The insane damage to DVDs and game discs baffled the hell out of me. I couldn’t fathom how people were fucking up the simple process of removing a disc from a case and placing it into the tray of a console, then reversing the process to place it back into the case. Then I saw my friend and his family and how badly they treated their own games and DVDs that they **owned.** That was when I realized at a young age that there are just different types of humans, ones that just don’t take care of anything that’s anywhere within their general vicinity.


Ah I forgot about discs, that's a perfect example!


If you’ve ever checked out CDs or DVDS from a library, they look like they’ve been used as dinner plates.


If you think that’s bad, you should see what gets left in the drive thru drop off return at the library. Once had someone drop off a bunch of children’s books that had apparently been left with rotting seafood at some point. There were still bits of shrimp on them and the smell never really went away no matter how many times you cleaned the books. Hell is other people.


Yes! This drives me up the wall. I have things from my youth that are in pristine or otherwise respectable condition, everything from cds, books, video game consoles, down to clothes and bed sheets. I am astounded by how poorly I’ve seen people treat their things. I’m not talking normal wear and tear. More like cracked laptop screens, brand new clothing with holes in them, abnormally stained/damaged toilets(!!!), etc. Don’t even get me started on how some people treat other people’s stuff. It boggles my mind


I was watching a show and a character picked their laptop up by it's screen and it made me shiver.


My partner's best mate is the worst with this. All of his books are tattered and bent because he just slams them down open on any surface. He's gone through three coffee percolators this year because does them up too tight and they explode. But it's worse when he's using other people's belongings. His housemates hundred dollar chef knives are constantly thrown in the dishwasher (he somehow managed to crack one of them too!), If you play cards with him he uses them to pick his nails and bends them, and he never ever apologises for ruining other people's belongings. He has absolutely no concept of "buying it once" and taking care of things. He thinks that if you care for your belongings you're materialistic and shallow.


I remember clearly from my youth how I came home to other kids, and they had the coolest toys, but as I asked if I could play with it was told that it was broken and/or had pieces missing. I was always shocked. They would have these beautiful puzzles, but with 4 pieces missing, so they never played with them. How do you even lose them? You put it together, and then you take every piece and put it back in the box. Where in this process do you lose four pieces? And how do they completely disappear? I have so many examples! I think one of the worst parts for me was how indifferent they felt towards their broken toys. Whenever I actually broke something I felt like shit. I would treat a puzzle with a missing piece like an injured animal! There, end of rant. ETA: Okay, so there turned out to be a lot of discussions regarding the losing of puzzle pieces. I want to clarify that I was talking about toys, so you know, one of those with like 20 pieces, each piece the size of a child's hand, that you finish in 5 minutes. I too have cats and know the struggle with "real" puzzles.


they simply where so slow in finishing the puzzle that continental drift took some pieces away to far lands


Using the index of a book.


So, I spent a year working with at-risk youth at a high school. There was this one day this boy was doing homework and said something like, “I wish there was a part in books that told you where in the book you could find what you’re looking for.” And I was like, “Uh, let me show you something.”


I remembered a friend asking for a ctrl+F feature for books, when I showed him the index he was like, "ohhh that's pretty good!"


You changed that man’s life


Honestly, shows potential that the kid was able to create the concept of an index without knowing what one was.


I recently saw someone referring to an index as _the menu_


If it works it works.


Indexes have been so invaluable to me over the years I couldn't imagine not knowing how to use one


I thought that everyone younger than me knows how to do basic computer troubleshooting. Turns out a fair of people younger than myself don't know how to look up answers online, it honestly baffled me.


I teach high school. The biggest issue is that everyone has assumed these kids know how to use the computer simply because they've always been around them while growing up. But no one has taught them how the fuck to use the damn things. I've got kids who come into junior or senior year of high school not knowing how to center a title and trying to do it with the space bar. God forbid they need to do anything complex.


The one that got me were the students who never used the shift key to capitalize letters. Caps lock on, letter, caps lock off.


I'm not a teacher, but there's something strange I've been noticing on the internet lately. People (kids maybe?) will Capitalize The First Letter Of Every Word In A Sentence. I've seen what amounts to entire novels written this way. This one baffles me.


My 14yo cousin does this. I told him, “You know that the shift key makes that easier, right?” And he responds, “I know, I just like to do it like this.” Now, I can’t figure out if he genuinely knows and has a preference or if it’s his stubborn way of not admitting he’s doing something the worst way because he didn’t know…


I also know a person who knows about the shift key and willingly presses caps lock


In the world of painfully slow typists, it probably does not make that much of a difference


I’m in my later 20s and I assumed the younger generation would be very skilled using computers. Now that I’ve read through here, I realize being skilled in the use of a smartphone is not as helpful. I had to spend hours tethered to a desktop to use social media/download music/chat with friends. I think it was advantageous now.


It's analogous to cars. Many people know how to drive but only a portion know how to check their oil and even fewer know how to change the oil.


And there’s a not so insignificant number that don’t know you even HAVE to change your oil…


My aunt (boomer generation) is very bad with computers. That's fine, she's retired. She does have an iPhone. The rest of my entire family has Androids, and have never had any apple products. She was convinced that I had blocked her somehow, because if she texted me, I never received it. Over and over, she's insisting something is wrong with my phone, because I am the only one she can't text. This has been going on for probably two years now, because pandemic but also because she moved to a state with a lot of retired people, and we are nowhere near each other. Finally figured it out on Thanksgiving. She texted my husband and me, but when he realized that I never received it he looked closer. It wasn't my cell number. She's been texting our landline for two years. I was googling *everything* trying to figure this shit out. Maybe I didn't properly sign out of my old phone when I did a factory reset, maybe there's a bug, maybe somehow my number got associated with a different phone. Nope. She just didn't pay attention when she added my landline and my cell number to my name in her iPhone. Never got any apologies. But nope, I wasn't blocking her for two years and my phone wasn't broken.


I had a very angry customer because we wouldn't let him email his son. Finally, got to see what he was seeing. He put a coma (,com) instead of a dot (.com) and saved it as a contact.


I worked as a tech at CompUSA, now defunct. One guy purchased his elderly father an expensive first computer, my job was to train him to use it. They tried to return it after complaining multiple times that the keyboard was broken; it kept 'adding random characters'. I swapped out the keyboard maybe 3 times. I couldn't figure out the problem for the life of me until I dragged the old man in in person to show me. His hands were gnarled to the point he has little control of his digits. He was basically typing with mittens, and let his hands rest on the keyboard, resulting in random mish-mash of keys being pressed. I tought him hunt-and-peck (only index fingers). Problem solved.


>hunt-and-peck (only index fingers) My 80-years-old dad uses this. He calls it The Bible System: Seek and ye shall find.


Oh man, this. I don’t know if they’re just inexperienced, or if the culture is different now, but I just assumed that 16-24 year olds would be tech savvy and a lot of them aren’t at all, even if their work involves using a computer.


The paradox is that a lot of devices have become a lot more user friendly. I remember as a teen having to look up stuff a lot more, fiddle in the registry, do oddball things just to get things working.


Yeah, you had to live through the time when computers were useful, but not easy to use. To older generations, they were never really useful, so they never bothered to learn. To younger generations, they were never difficult to use, so they never had to figure out how they worked.


I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there.


This. My boss (50+) thinks I’m a genius with excel. Truth is I have google on one screen and excel on the other and figure it out. Over the years I’ve improved my excel skills, but what I’m actually good at is where to find the answer, not knowing the answer.


This is really an important skill that gets overlooked and just doesn't seem to get taught nearly as much as it should be. A lot of learning isn't just remembering the answer and being able to regurgitate it. It's being able to figure out how to find the answer in the first place. Too many people just seem to give up when they don't know the answer or it's not readily available for them.


The funny part is that it's a skill that's been useful for the whole of human civilization: How to ask the right questions.


More often than not it's a big part of what makes smart people smart. Popular imagination is that intelligence is having an encyclopedic knowledge of things, or at least one specific niche. It's not. One of the more important elements is being able to quickly learn the basics of the thing you need to know. Either to accomplish a task or engage with people who work with it frequently and can help you solve the *really* complicated stuff.


It's two things, in equal parts: 1. When people say their kids are "good with computers," they mean that they know how to navigate their tablet and browse YouTube/social media. They don't mean that their kid actually knows a single thing beyond the surface level. In fact, they don't know the difference themselves. 2. Everyone always says that younger people are already so good with computers, so naturally they decide that they don't need to teach them. And the kids hear it so much, that they eventually believe it too. So nobody wants to teach them, and they don't want to learn.


This is like new parents saying their babies are so smart they already know how to navigate Netflix! When in fact the Netflix UI is so easy to use a literal baby can use it.


I think it's reading and comprehension. I work for a company that requires their lease to be renewed online. Most are unable to do so.


You ever wanted to play a video game, so you had to torrent it, then mount the iso file to a virtual drive and change the .config file in your %appdata% and troubleshoot driver issues? Now you just have to log into steam and click download.


The days before CD ROM and internet - install the game using 3.5” floppy disks, create a boot disk with a custom config.sys and autoexec.bat, and hope you could boot the computer with enough [conventional memory](https://kb.iu.edu/d/abka) to run the game.


You’re forgetting the most important one for running games: HIMEM.SYS!


Aww shit, I don't have enough memory for my mouse driver and soundcard driver at the same time and there's an IRQ conflict.


Shit, even just learning how to install multiple mods for minecraft in its beta days was a crash course in understanding how program libraries are structured and are interacted with as you had to manually insert certain files in certain locations and have an idea how to merge them if multiple mods made edits to the same file


Basic awareness of when to call emergency services I recently saw a guy having a seizure on the ground on a busy street. There were 100+ people standing around watching him. I shouted 'has anyone called an ambulance?' and everyone looked at me blankly. People were recording with their phones but hadn't thought to call an ambulance for the guy. This is in the UK so it's free to call an ambulance and the man's hospital treatment would have been free. The whole thing freaked me out. Edit: just to say I've been inundated with comments and dm's about the bystander effect. Thanks for your messages but I am already familiar with this phenomenon (I am a psychologist).


As someone who works on an ambulance I’ve lost all faith in people. Like you tweaked your knee three months ago and waited until the middle of a snowstorm to call 911. Or on the other end of the spectrum there are normal families that see grandpa suddenly confused and unable to remember his own name and they’ll wait three whole days before calling his doctor.


One of the things I wish children were taught in school is how and when to call emergency services and what happens when you do. I remember being taught what number to call in an emergency, and when *not* to call (i.e. "don't call unless it's really an emergency"), but that just made it seem like we should do everything possible to avoid calling. As a kid, I didn't know that the first thing I'd be asked was "police or ambulance?". I didn't know that I had to be able to clearly give my address and a *brief* explanation of the problem. I didn't know that no matter how serious the emergency, the person I spoke to would sound bored. I didn't even know that I'd be transferred to someone else. The whole process is a total mystery until you have to do it for the first time.


Cooking, using a washer and dryer, CLEANING. Most importantly cleaning. I had a terrible experience with some roommates, just couldn't clean up after themselves, forgot who's made the mess, and would constantly blame the house being dirty on me. ME. Who would literally wash every plate after I used it, never left a dish in the sink, would take out the trash a fairly often for everyone, and whenever I had guests over, I cleaned up the apartment and left it the way I found it, if not better. Had to move back into my mom's house for peace of mind, I would've caught a charge back there, eventually.


Once had a roommate who would load the dishwasher by just putting stuff in wherever it fit, saying “Don’t worry, it’ll all get clean!” He would put cups and bowls in RIGHT SIDE UP so they would just hold dirty water the whole time they were in there. Great roommate as long as you didn’t let him do the dishes.


My roommate was a great person too, except when it came to laundry. She kept loading her clothes in without detergent or anything. When she asked me why her clothes didn't smell fresh like mine did, I ended up letting her take my detergent (thinking maybe her detergent was bad or something)...she didn't know what to do with it and was genuinely baffled when I explained that you needed the detergent to do laundry 👀




This is a big problem. My parents didn't teach me good hygiene. I stank all the time and it's not something people will tell you about. They will complain to people around you. My wife taught me better hygiene and it has changed my life. I'm doing much better professionally and random strangers are no longer mean to me seemingly for no reason. I wish there was a good resource I could refer my stinky friends to so they could learn about it.


A new woman had started at our company. She stank, and her manager found out when co-workers were doing the middle school mean girl shit to her. Manager stepped in and took the woman aside to discuss. Turns out that this woman's parents told her never to wash her vagina but failed to explain that she still needed to wash the vulva and area around there. She also put a stop to the gossip and whispering. One of the best managers I ever worked with.


When I was in management, we had a lady that smelled horrifically like dirty crotch. I spoke to a few others in management and another woman there who was friends with the stinky lady, we got together and figured out she had no way of washing her clothes. So we got together and not only got her a washer and dryer, but picked it up for her and delivered it. She still refused to use it because she was, she admitted, too lazy to do so. Everyone was pissed.


That’s awesome. I remember reading a similar story about a young man (17-18) who came to work stinky and the manager (op) took him aside to gently inquire about it and found out that his parents didn’t let him use the bathroom at the house (toilet or shower!) and he had never been educated on hygiene after puberty. Manager got the kid set up with a cheap gym membership to shower and took the kid personally to a store and gave him the run down on shampoo, soap, and deodorant. Taught him how to shave. The kid ended up working there for a few years with above average work quality and only left after he had to in order to go to a college he got into. To me that’s an amazing manager. Not just “you stink I’m going to get rid of you” but instead, figure out the issue, help the individual solve it, and treated him like a human.


>his parents didn’t let him use the bathroom at the house (toilet or shower!) I will never understand people who do this


Is this common? It's as cruel as it is baffling.


Some parents are monsters. I was given grief by my parents because I would take 10 minute showers in the morning before high school. According to them, it was me “acting like I was better than them” and “you think you’re so great don’t you” When I got a part time job they made me pay a huge chunk of the water bill because “the bill is so high because of you!” I mean, yes, it’s going to be higher. My parents took a bath once every two weeks together. It was gross. It wasn’t a financial issue.


By me, the town has a minimum water usage requirements. With the exception of the July and August, I never actually hit that target and so my water bill is the same every month. Showering less would not save me any money, I would just smell more.


It’s basically child abuse..basically….as in is.


It's pretty serious child abuse. The kind that normally gets your kids taken away.


> Manager got the kid set up with a cheap gym membership to shower and took the kid personally to a store and gave him the run down on shampoo, soap, and deodorant. That is above and beyond, wow. I grew up with 7 siblings in a series of houses that always had just one bathroom, and it was friends who clued me on how often you should take a shower, what creme rinse is, how deodorant works, etc. This isn't stuff that's obvious, for those of you who were lucky enough to have parents who gave you basic hygiene skills.


I vaguely remember that story too! I love your ending ‘treat him like a human’


Parenting doesn't always happen by parents.


As a co-worker and as a "lead" i've let people know they have an odor and other coworkers have mentioned it. Both thanked me. There were reasons for them smelling and I'm just gonna say this; Don't talk about people behind their backs. Have the decency to sit down with them and say, "Hey, i know no one wants to hear this, but I'd rather you be a little upset with me for saying it than for me to keep my mouth shut". Say something to that tune and they won't be AS defensive. Cuz yeah, no one wants to be told they stink


I had a pair of work shoes that had grown rather stinky, and was just waiting on the replacements to arrive (had to order online, nobody local carried steel-toed sneakers). My poor supervisor called me over to her desk like the day before the new ones were due to be delivered. I was panicking, thinking I was getting fired because she looked soooo nervous. She broke it to me gently, but was visibly relieved when I laughed a little and assured her that I knew, and was correcting the issue. Slightly embarrassing for both of us, but waaaay better than the alternatives lol. ETA: Dang, this got way more attention than I thought it would lol. For the kind strangers leaving tips/tricks - I was too poor to buy two pairs at once, although it would have been great to be able to alternate days. I had held off on buying the replacements because I needed the annual voucher from my employer in order to afford the new pair 😅 I've since moved out of the production industry, but if I need to break out the steel-toes again, I will *definitely* pay more attention to the socks that I wear with them, that wasn't something I had even considered!


If you can afford it, having two pairs of work shoes and cycling between them can make a big difference in them not becoming stinky. They have time to dry out between wearings rather than sweat and moisture building up over the week! Also yeah, I've found some steel toed safety shoes are pretty shit for breathability. Some will be better than others though!


One of the first things that was taught in boot camp was basic hygiene. I thought the drill instructors were joking when they explained what toothpaste was and the motions used to brush your teeth. I took it for granted that everyone else was as lucky as I had been to be born into a loving family.


Somewhat related - If you leave your clothes in the washer for a day or more, they will usually smell like mildew. Everyone around you smells it and is too nice to say anything. Even though your clothes are “clean” they smell dirty (because they’ve grown mold/mildew on them). Anyone who’s even been to any kind of con or fest (Magfest I’m looking at you) knows the smell all too well - so many dudes walking around smelling like wet towels. Also, it’s an easy fix! Rewash the laundry with white vinegar and baking soda, and voilà. Edit: This is an easy guide https://www.stain-removal-101.com/vinegar-and-baking-soda.html Edit two: How the hell did this turn into such a controversial comment? Do your laundry however the hell you want. Stop trying to argue about it! Look at cute dog videos or something.


Wait a minute. Vinegar *and* baking soda? They neutralize each other.


Different cycles! It’s like adding fabric softener - it happens at a different time than the detergent.


As a foster parent, it doesn't surprise me at all. Poor hygeine is so common with the children we host. Bad parenting is never teaching your child to do basic things like washing, wiping your butt, brushing your teeth, or even just using soap in the shower. That kind of teaching requires some basic level of parents caring about their kids and taking some 5-10 minutes to just talk to their kids. There are so many bad parents out there, and that is so unfortuneate.


And that socks and underwear need to be put in the laundry every day, and clean ones worn the next day. I lived with a teenager who would put her jeans in the laundry every day, but wear the same stinky socks for more than a week.


That's like... backwards of what's okay. You can rewear jeans, but never socks.


I remember complaining to my mom in high school about this kid that sat next to me in music class, smelled like he'd never showered in his life. She told me to just discreetly tell him that he smelled, and that if he inevitably complained that I was being offensive, to tell him that his smell was offensive. Cue me in music class. I say my lines, he apologizes sheepishly when informed that his smell is offensive. I thought this dude had stringy black hair. Come to class the following day and he's got these flowing, smooth, sandy light brown locks. Like, what the actual fuck.


I feel really bad for that kid. Sounds like his home life may not be that great. :/


Bad hygiene is as *massive* red flag for us in education purely for this reason. Sometimes it’s just a kid with naturally powerful BO. Sometimes it’s something like the kid is lazy and won’t shower. Sometimes it’s the parents - they don’t know or don’t care. Or worse, they just flat-out refuse to let their child bathe for whatever reason. You’d be surprised how common that last one is.


My parents fell solidly in the "don't care" category. I cannot ever remember hearing either of them say "take a shower" or "hey kids it's bath time". So I definitely did not even know what good hygiene was. I don't think we ever even had toothbrushes or toothpaste in my house.


Yup, seeing people on tik tok and reddit talking about how they have never been told what to do in the shower made me see everything differently. Like for example you are supposed to clean your buttcrack or actually clean your ears not just let the water run through it.


How do other people clean their ears in the shower?


I rub behind them, usually with a washcloth, and then inside the outer folds of the ear, avoiding going into the canal at all. I also tend to kinda pinch and scrub my earlobes. Then I make sure no soap is left on them. It gets all the areas that I often have gotten pimples in cleaned and prevents inflammation from soap irritation. Edit: do not soap anywhere you just got pierced, use a special cleaner and run it through the piercing using the jewelry.


I stick those things you’re not supposed to stick in your ears in my ears.


Basic cooking skills. I once saw a guy try to cook pasta by dumping raw pasta shells in a frying pan with a little oil... Edit- Oh wow I didnt expect this many replies!


I heard a story a few months back about a kid, 19, twenty something, moved out on his own. He was asking how often he needed to clean his oven because he was doing it daily and complaining about how much of a chore it was. After some clarifying questions it came out that he was not putting his meat in baking dishes or pans. Apparently he was slathering up his meat with whatever seasoning and then cooking it straight on the baking rack.


"Oil dente"


commenting this here bc it fits so well: I once babysat my dad's coworker's children, and one time his wife came home early, she asked me to help her cook some spaghetti and meatballs. I accepted thinking that's an easy meal, and that she just wanted me there for company. Boy was I wrong because I ended up doing everything! She kept asking me how to do things, and when I would tell her she would do it wrong. Just so you guys have an idea: when she asked me what to do first I said "probably put the pasta to cook with some olive oil and salt", and she just put the raw pasta on a pot, no water, just oil, and salt. We only noticed when it started to smell like burning. And she complained saying "you didn't say I had to put water!" I had no words.This woman birthed 5 children all without learning how to cook basic stuff. No wonder the children were only used to eating snacks and fast food. Mind you these were a "nice" family, from wealthy backgrounds, and living in a wealthy neighborhood, and yet, didn't know how to do the most basic house chores. edit: damn so many upvotes! thanks guys! Also just to clarify: this was like 5 years ago, I have learned since then not to add olive oil when cooking pasta, just salt. Also (x2): I want to add that, even though my family was not rich, my parents were always busy at work they hired people to clean and cook out of necessity, so I never learned these skills as a child. However, when I went to live on my own I just, thought myself. The internet is there for everyone. That's what baffled me the most about this lady (and her husband), that they managed to go through college, live on their own on a different country, get married, and have 5 children, all without learning basic survival skills (I say this because not only did they not know how to cook, but also their house was always a mess, the room were the kids would play smelled like piss, and they hadn't taught their perfectly healthy 4yo how to pee by himself, I needed to change his diapers every time)


When my uncle got divorced in 1969 he got a couple of other single guys as roommates to help cover the mortgage. One of them put a TV dinner in the oven — still in the box. They noticed when the cardboard began to smell singed. He was clueless. My uncle topped that one at Thanksgiving when he put the turkey in a roasting pan in the oven. He didn’t know about the plastic bag with the neck, giblets, etc., stuffed in the body cavity. He said the burning plastic smelled so bad they threw it out, opened the windows and went out to eat.


I'm still amazed at how many people my age still can't use computers properly. I don't mean in the too old or too poor category, I'm talking about the sheer number of people in my age group who skipped past computers and went straight to smartphones. (I'm 21)


Blows my mind how many "computer illiterate" people are apparently aptly named because *they just don't read what's on the damned screen*.


I see you've met my Father


“What does the pop up window say, dad? Read it to me out loud….. ok. Go ahead and restart it.”


"Okay, what do you see on the screen? What do you mean nothing? Your screen is blank? So your phone shut off? So it's *not* blank then? *So what do you see on the screen?* Don't say nothing if you see something! AN OK BUTTON IS NOT NOTHING!" I swear, I don't mind when my parents don't understand something, what frustrates me is their absolute inability to follow simple directions when it comes to anything tech related. It's like their entire brain shut down and they just refuse to acknowledge the words that I'm saying.


"It's on your desktop" looks down at the physical desk for the icon.


When I was a teacher, I was amazed that my students could post on their Instagram in seconds, yet had no idea how to indent or center something (like not knowing what key/button to press to do it)


Swimming. I feel like I need to be a lifeguard every time I go swimming and watch some people flail wildly in the water they could just stand in.


I feel you. I took swimming class in high school. It wasn't just for swimming, as it went over CPR and it basically certified you as a life guard for a while. But we actually went to the pool every day and they taught us 4 or 5 different swimming strokes.


The Scientific Method. My public school science teachers drilled us over and over on critically designing experiments. I thought that was normal. Turns out, my home town just has really good public schools. My eighth grade English teacher had a doctorate.


I’m convinced the reason misinformation spreads so easy is that so few people know how to accurately use the scientific method for themselves and to spot obviously fake shit


That, and propaganda is designed to invoke deep emotion and bypass rationality. Fear is a lot of peoples' Off switch.




See now there, I grew up horrible at it, and it was a ex-girlfriend in my mid 20's who beat some ability into me, and I've been honing it all through my 30's as a husband and father. As a result, I solo-ed Thanksgiving dinner this week for 20 people. But I still have the utmost sympathy for anyone who can't cook. There's definitely the feeling of being way out of your depth if handed a recipe and you *just don't know what to do*.


Thanks for giving me hope, I'm only 20 but its a foreign concept to me. I don't understand the lingo, and when I try to help people cook they usually get annoyed that I have to ask how to do something they perceive as common sense. I wanted to take a cooking class in high school but they didn't allow me to because they said I was in too high of a grade to take the entry level class, and I had to take that one to take gourmet foods lmao. I'm still upset about that. Edit: I was not expecting all these responses, idk if I can read them all but I really appreciate everyone who gave me advice, I'm going to try to cook an omelet tomorrow morning. Even if it goes horrible, I won't give up!


When I was in high school (graduated in mid 2000s) they told me I couldn’t take cooking or home economics because I was a boy.


Writing an email with proper grammar and formatting seems obvious and easy to me, but I see so many people at work who are just the worst


How about answering all of the questions asked in an email?


Using bulleted questions at the end of the email works wonders.


And learning which of your coworkers are “ask one question per email” coworkers and which can handle the list.


I can’t tell you how many people with MBAs that I have hired and/or worked with who can’t write a basic report with a recommendation. How can someone get through 4 years of undergrad and 2-3 years of a Master’s Degree, and not be able to communicate their thoughts in writing?


Fake it till ya make it


Writing---and I don't mean grammatically perfect pieces or novel writing. I am amazed how many people can't do basic level writing stuff like putting sentences in logical order, using basic punctuation and grammar, etc. I am not a world class writer, but years of Catholic school taught me the basics. I occasionally proofread papers for younger family members and honestly don't even know where to start. The grammar issues I can deal with, but the total lack of organization in paragraphs drives me crazy because I basically end up re-writing the damn paper so it makes some kind of sense.


When I started teaching remedial writing to college students, it took me so much mental power to deconstruct the process 'cause it seemingly always came naturally to me; I'd never had to think about it. My favorite is dialogue: I didn't realize you had to teach people how to write the way they speak. My initial reaction was, "Wait, don't you know how you speak?"


Chewing with your mouth closed.


Basic first aid. Buddy in college got cut and didn’t understand how to make it stop bleeding and bandage/disinfect it properly, I was amazed.


Reading a map. I grew up traveling long before computers. I've handed several adults paper maps while driving and they didn't even know how to find where we were. I guess it isn't a skill you need anymore though.


The real skill is re-folding a paper map after you're done with it. Can't be done. Nope.


Sewing. I thought I was a mediocre sewer because I wasn't great at cross-stitch and embroidery. Turns out fixing a button or seam is a skill.


Oh my gosh! My husband was ready to toss a shirt because a button was missing, I took one from the bottom edge, moved it to the missing buttons location and sewed it on. The man stood there watching dumbfounded and asked how I learned to do that. We’ve been married 20years, he’s seen me sew a quilt but a button blew his mind.




Why plan when you can mindlessly stumble through every moment and just complain when it doesn’t go well


Using a hammer.


I'm sorry you know someome that didn't know how *hammers worked?* What's the story behind that?


Yes, I guess. They bend all of the nails. They hold it wrong. The bang the crap out of trim work. They twist and pull on the nail puller. They chip up the handle. Let's just say I wouldn't want to hold the nail if they were swinging the hammer.


I took a carpentry class in my senior year of high school and we all knew how to use a hammer but there were some dumbasses. In one of the other carpentry classes (not mine) someone took a sledgehammer and hit another student’s hard hat while he was wearing said hard hat. Hit kid got a concussion (duh) and hitter kid got expelled (double duh). In my class, one kid decided it would be a good idea to attach one of the small clamps we had to his hammer and *then* swing the hammer to hit the nail. He came within centimeters of hitting my hand and when I jumped back and yelled at him to “get the fuck away from me” he acted like I was a hysterical bitch who was in the wrong in that situation (I was the only girl in the class)


Throwing your trash in a trash can/garbage can and watching people leave their shit outside their car when they are in a parking lot. Drives me nuts. Especially when NO ONE will pick that up and it's literally littering.


Clean the damn lint screen out of dryers and doing laundry in general. I’ve been tossing my clothes in the washer and dryer since I was like 5, my college peers around me have no clue how to do any of it




For me, it was sweeping. I honestly don't know how a young *adult* can't hold a broom but I swore I had a stroke that day(and every day I see him sweep)


How does he sweep?


How to use a fucking gate 🤦🏻‍♀️


Buddy, please. I just found out that people can't use a hammer. Don't tell me they can't use a *gate.* Who the hell can't use a fucking *g a t e ! ?*


No need to gatekeep.




Confrontation makes my blood boil, my hands shake, voice quiver, and likely tears. Good on ya for having that figured out.


Same. And if it's a conversation I NEED to have with someone, I'm a nervous mess. I have nightmares about it. I can't sleep. I'll feel nauseous about all the things that can go wrong. I usually wait until I've exhausted all my strongest emotions before I have the conversation. I have to, otherwise I just shake the whole time, and can't articulate what I need to say.


Civil confrontation as well. Not everything needs to be approached as if it will or should turn into an argument.


Cooking. Some people can't boil water


The ability to use a turn signal.


Reading and writing