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PowerOfGamers01

This thread has ran it’s course Locked for rules 3 and 5


spoopy_gay

THANK YOU!!! you don’t have to be attracted to anyone you don’t want to. it literally doesn’t matter. just don’t be an ass about it. “i’m not attracted to you bc i’m not attracted to your physical features” is VERY different than “i’m attracted to you but i don’t agree with trans people and think you & every other trans person is disgusting, therefore i won’t go out with you”. even if that’s what you think, don’t go out and say it (ps this is a very simplified version. i know ppl don’t actually talk like this, it’s just a generalization that i used as an example)


[deleted]

I never understood the sentiment that it’s transphobic to not be attracted to trans people. Sex is something that is personal, it is the most intimate you can be with someone. People have the right to be as selective as they wish to be regarding who they have sex with. As long as you aren’t spouting bigotry and demanding they have no rights then who you share your genitals with is entirely your choice and no one has the right to tell you it’s wrong.


deathbylitchi

Soon there's going to be a law. You can't deny sex on grounds of race, sexual preference, disability, gender, religion etc etc 🤯


headpats_required

You're manufacturing your own victimhood.


deathbylitchi

Not really... making people guilty for denying them sex because they're whatever has been going on for years. The idea is now that you feel guilty since they've "called you out", you're obligated to have sex with them.


[deleted]

Making people feel guilty for denying sex has indeed been going on for years. But the rest of your comment here is based on a totally false premise. You are NEVER obligated to have sex with ANYONE. Anyone weaponising guilt is emotionally manipulating you. It’s called coercion and is designed to breach your right to consent. No bueno.


RealMrHeath

I mean this does happen. Didn't want to have sex with a chick and got shamed for it. I was insulted and harassed by her friends for it. So I believe ya even if these others don't.


deathbylitchi

Thank you for sharing. I bet you had your reasons for it but by the time the friends got involved it had evolved into her being bat shit crazy


RealMrHeath

It became the whole nobody finds me attractive 😭😭😭. Nobody will ever love me stuff. Keep in mind we were only ever friends. But you can't be nice to some people without them feeling some kinda way. Eventually things calmed down. Once it all kinda came out we weren't a thing. But she'd told a bunch of people we were together. Just glad that bullet got dodged.


Icefirewolflord

This is also something that a lot of men do CONSTANTLY. It’s an issue of some people not knowing the word no, not an issue of trans people.


deathbylitchi

Never specifically said it was a trans issue. That's just the most prevalent issue currently.


headpats_required

Literally nobody says this.


deathbylitchi

Uhmmm... I've actually experienced it but okay


headpats_required

Doubt.


deathbylitchi

Of course you would. I've just looked at your other comments. Anyone who says they don't see transwomen the same because of genitals or their desire to procreate, you've been attacking and saying they're wrong. And yes, there will be people who are attracted to and accepting of them but not everyone and they're not obligated to be. So maybe pull your head out your ass and realize not everyone is attracted to what you're attracted to nor have they shared experiences you've had.


headpats_required

I literally never attacked anyone for saying that? Show me what comment you think constitutes that. I never said anyone is obligated to feel attracted to me. Sounds like you're resorting to a generic attack line because you got called out for demonising trans people to get updoots. Your story is still fake as shit btw.


SorryThisUser1sTaken

Here's some more popcorn traveler...


[deleted]

[удалено]


LunarLoco

Bruh yall seriously need help, didn't want to say anything but I've experienced the same behavior from gay/Trans folk


MadameSassafras

Excuse me? And you have the right to tell someone what they have/haven’t gone through? Do better.


headpats_required

Because this is Reddit, where people invent stories for clout.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bicchlasagna

Agreed. People have preferences and it's normal. We can choose who we want to date based on preferences, that doesn't mean someone has a phobia, is a bigot, racist etc.


NoelleDoesSpore

I'm trans myself, and I agree. I'm not interested in dating/having sex with anyone, but I still get it. Having a preference isn't transphobic.


kidnurse21

I feel the same with race and weight. It’s not racist nor is it fatphobic not to have sex with those people but you just leave it at that. I see all the time, people defending their preferences but just politely decline and move along


[deleted]

It doesn’t have to be racist or fatphobic but it *can* be and that’s entirely dependent on whether you’re racist or fatphobic.


robertoiglesias271

Fatphobia is not a real thing dw


[deleted]

Oh no it’s real. Back when I practiced the shit men would say to me about the women they’d met. Women say it too but less.


robertoiglesias271

no. There's fat shaming, but fatphobia is not a real thing


[deleted]

Not true at all. Many eating disorders emanate from fat phobia. But no need for me to debate what is fact.


robertoiglesias271

...wrong


[deleted]

K. You must be a psychologist too right?


robertoiglesias271

what does being a psychologist have to do with not caring about a new form of virtue signaling? Why does everyone start believing in bogus bs when someone tries to make it a thing on tiktok?


[deleted]

Oh… you think a clinically recognised phobia (which you can research in medical journals) is made up. I see.


jd_sixty6

Not at all trying to be provocative or rude, but if it’s not a “preference” but an individuals hard rule that “I won’t sleep with anyone based purely on the fact they are transgender” is that acceptable or not?


orangevenomrat

Yes! Never feel obliged to have sex with anyone you don’t want to, it’s always okay to have boundaries!


jd_sixty6

I’m happily in a relationship and wouldn’t ever feel pressured into doing something with anyone. Trans or not if I’m not attracted it’s not happening as far as I’m concerned


orangevenomrat

That’s a great attitude to have. Unfortunately many aren’t as strong willed as you are and can get coerced into doing things they don’t want to


NoelleDoesSpore

I can agree with this. I get coerced into doing things I don't want to all the time, as my will is that weak. It's led to me almost being raped.


[deleted]

I’m sorry that’s happened to you. Coercion is never your fault. Please work with a therapist to design hard boundaries so that you can outsource any need to resist. The boundaries will do the work for you.


[deleted]

We need to dispel the myth that victims of coercion are not strong willed. Anyone can be coerced given the appropriate level of manipulation. That’s where hard boundaries can be extremely healthy because your willpower is not a variable.


orangevenomrat

Sorry :( I learned something today. I hope no one felt hurt by my previous comment


Aelle29

You're being downvoted but I think your question is relevant bc it actually draws the line that created this whole debate. Some people wouldn't date trans people because of their sexuality. For example, a straight woman wouldn't date a trans man who has a vagina because she likes male genitalia. Some straight people don't have a genital preference btw, you can be a straight woman in the sense that you like MEN as in the gender, but not necessarily only male genitalia, which refers to sex and not gender. Some people also prefer biological men/women and feel weird with someone who's *biologically* in between. So I think this kind of instances are absolutely not transphobic. That's what people are talking about when they say not being attracted to trans people isn't transphobic. But, *sexuality* aside, there are also people who wouldn't date a trans person not because of their genitalia or gender or biology, but because they are simply *transgender* and they don't like transgender people. *That* is transphobic. Their sexuality isn't what prevents them from being attracted to trans people, their bigotry is.


jd_sixty6

Okay this raises an interesting point about attraction to sex rather than gender. I’m attracted to women with vaginas, would it then be transphobic to split that into only attracted to biological women who were born with biological vaginas (ie not a male who’s had bottom surgery) Is that transphobic or not? I would’ve argued not because I’m perfectly comfortable chatting away and living alongside them it just doesn’t attract me


[deleted]

I’m going to challenge your assumption here that you’d be able to tell. Let’s say you couldn’t tell whether it was someone who was born that way or had surgery. But you’re attracted. It’s only when you find out the truth that the person is trans that you lose your attraction. So you’re sexually attracted but not psychologically attracted. That’s a mental block because it’s something you’ve now learned that’s a dealbreaker for you. It’s possible to be sexually attracted to someone and also not want them. And that’s confusing for people. It’s one of the main reasons trans women are at risk for violence because the man discovers that he’s been “tricked” but because he’s still sexually attracted he can’t cope with that confusion and lashes out. So to answer your question it’s only transphobic when you treat the info a certain way. Otherwise it’s just a mental block. And that’s ok.


Mantequilla_Stotch

There are plenty of women who are bomb shells that I am attracted to physically. I also wouldn't touch them with a 10 foot pole. If that is completely ok then it is also ok to be physically attracted to a trans person and still not want to have sex with them.


[deleted]

100%.


Aelle29

No that's not transphobic, I think that's what we all agree on here. You can't help but being attracted to biological females, because sex is also a part of sexuality, not just gender. I guess that's fine as long as your line of thought isn't "I don't wanna date a trans woman because trans people are freaks and not real women/men". If it's really just preference, aka your sexuality, you're fine. Edit : that said, even a person who is just transphobic isn't obligated to force themselves to have sex with trans people. They're bigots and they should work on it, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't have sexual freedom.


Noirxvn

If you like male & female genitalia then you are simply bisexual. It’s okay to be bisexual.


Aelle29

I didn't say the opposite, not sure we understand each other Edit : oh yeah I get it now. If you like for example men, but you also like trans men who have a vagina because of their gender, you're not bi. You're straight, with no genital preference.


_Kuroyuki_

Yeah. I am trans as well, FtM, and I do have gay friends who have told me that they like trans people a lot, but wouldn't date them if they still have a female body (which is completely understandable). You can't choose what you're attracted to and why. You can't expect a gay person to be attracted to someone with a female body. And even if the person would generally be attracted to trans people, doesn't mean they're gonna be attracted to every single transperson they come across. They don't owe you attraction, no one does. It's not transphobic, that's just how humans work.


wizardwes

Yeah, I think somebody further up hit the nail on the head, if you don't want to date a trans person because, as you put it, they still have a body that disagrees with your preferences, that's fine and understandable. The problem is people who refuse to date trans people *because* they're transphobic, so really, people are just pushing it to a different level of abstraction. Same for race, it's fine to find people of certain races more or less attractive, it's just a problem if it's because of their race instead of because of your preferences, if that makes any sort of sense.


Vinny6420

Yeah I've seen plenty of people say it is transphobic but it's really not, at all.


HackTheSystem-90

27 y/o trans person. Im inclined to agree with you but let me share some of my experiences. Im relatively decent looking after transition if I can say so myself, but I’ve found in my dating experience that there is rampant transphobia in apps like tinder especially from young men. It’s not wrong if you’re not attracted and choose to unmatch, but half the time I just get cussed out and get called some pretty horrendous slurs for “tricking” dudes. Keep in mind; They swiped right on me first. They were most likely just spamming right swipes without any reading at all. If you read my profile I am EXTREMELY transparent about my transgender status, it’s in my profile in 3 places. Why is it my fault you swiped? You can reject politely or not message at all and unmatch, that’s 100% fine I don’t expect everyone to be ok with it. That doesn’t mean you have to treat me like my only value was if I have a vagina or not. Please understand I’m not at all assuming anything about you personally, but the kind of guys I’ve met who complain about “don’t expect attraction” are unusually cruel in apps when they realize I’m trans. you can reject without being aggressive. You could be a nice person, don’t get me wrong im not accusing you of anything. It’s just my experience so far.


ThatWhiteBoah

I’m sorry to hear that, I kinda always expected that to be an issue on tinder. And it shouldn’t be considered brave for you to be putting yourself out there (tho it is) you’re just trying to live your life. Don’t let them bring you down, I’ve met plenty of non-binary people and trans people who were both delightful and I personally thought attractive. Just live your life how you want it, I’m sure you already know that


MishAerials

Im sorry this is happening. It’s totally unacceptable that they cuss you out. I hope you find someone great soon who will appreciate you, and you will be able to ditch these terrible apps.


N0bother

Sorry to hear that. People just fucking suck sometimes...


deathbylitchi

Welcome to the club! This is something women have been experiencing forever. Normally it dies down if you set your age range a little higher but being trans is a unique ballgame so that may or may not help your cause. Men in their 30's are less... unnecessarily cruel on dating apps. In their 20's your only appeal for many is your vagina and if you don't have one or don't want to allow them use of it, you're trash. Hope you find someone who isn't an ass.


RangerSavage

>Dating app That was your first mistake. Only scum and attention seekers pop in there.


honorbound43

I’m sorry you experience that but you also understand the utter disrespect and disregard men get on dating apps too. Which can come from women who get disrespected or tired of the same bs response. So it’s a cycle of bs and hate. So it really isnt personal when they disregard or even disrespect you. And probably only minimally has to do with your sexual expression. Mostly just a gut reflex in rejection that all humans give on impersonal dating apps


EliudeSFerreira

Agreed 100% Have a nice day.


tendencytoharm

I’m trans myself and while it does suck that I’m no longer sought out relationship wise, I definitely understand that most people just aren’t attracted to me. No matter what I see myself as, I still have a vag and people might not like it or I still have tits. I am barely out to my family so I still have to present feminine a lot. If someone isn’t attracted to that, they just aren’t. Plus it would hypocritical af of me since I also have what I’m attracted to and what I’m not.


[deleted]

There are two really distinct aspects to this that are getting conflated. 1) sexual attraction. With many trans people you can tell. That’s not sexually attractive to a lot of people. But for trans people who pass, and you can’t tell, it’s 100% disingenuous to claim you could never be sexually attracted. I would go so far as to say I am sure you have been and never knew. 2) lifestyle preference. Sexual attraction is designed to make us procreate. It’s not the only reason to be with a partner but if you’re heterosexual you are hardwired this way. Even if you’re gay you’re hardwired this way. Plenty of people leave partners because of differences in ability or willingness to procreate, trans or not and regardless of sexual orientation. Whereas you don’t really get to choose who you are sexually attracted to you have a lot more choice on this second aspect of procreation. In neither circumstance is transphobia a factor. Is it possible to then, despite the above, be transphobic? Absolutely. This means seeing trans people as less than. Not worthy. To be ignored or tolerated (or on the worst end of the spectrum not tolerated at all). I can completely understand the hurt that “I don’t want to date trans” can cause even when someone is not transphobic. It’s an absolute and too simplistic a way to describe that it’s just not a lifestyle / life state that you want to deal with for you and that’s ok. But that’s harder to say.


Own-Relationship-407

Definitely agree. This is actually a good summary of this problem in a lot of areas. I’ve seen the same thing a lot from the general body positivity crowd. It seems to be a way of deferring their own insecurities and imperfections or projecting them on to others. “Well what’s wrong with me then? There must be a reason!” Uh, right now, how about the fact that you’re being obnoxious and pushy towards someone who clearly isn’t into you? Just drop it. Who someone else is or isn’t attracted to is 100% their own business. Trying to change who someone is attracted to or pushing for explanations is no different from the crap stalkers and creeps pull. Imagine being so fragile that you think someone’s lack of attraction to you has more to do with them than with you. Gross.


Theonlythingleftt

It would be like a gay person saying a straight person is homophobic because they wont have sex with them. Doesnt make any sense lmao


aussierecroommemer42

No it isn't? The reason people say it's transphobic to not want to date a trans person is if it's solely based on the fact that they're trans, and is regardless of their sex appeal. If you're attracted to someone but then you hear that they're trans and all of a sudden you don't want to date them, that's transphobic. Because it's discrimination purely on the fact that they're trans. Having a genital preference is 100% fine, but not dating someone **just** because they're trans is transphobic.


kidnurse21

You can decide not to date someone for any reason without it being discrimination. Dating is very very private and you can have as many or as little boundaries as you want. You can decide not to date someone because of their religion, if they have kids, their fertility, their criminal background etc. None of that is discrimination


Theonlythingleftt

Im just gonna say, literally nothing is gained by trying to shame peoples sexuality. Its creepy. The whole “well explain to me why you wont fuck me or youre evil” isnt a great argument no matter who you are. People can deny sex or a relationship for any reason and theres absolutely nothing wrong with that. And yes, i have seen this argument from gay people, and its gross. Falls into incel rhetoric when you think people owe anyone sex. It will never be discriminatory to not have sex with someone.


Theonlythingleftt

If someone isnt sexually attracted to you, they usually wont date you. Convenient that youre leaving the sex part out. Why would someone who wants sex in a relationship date someone they dont want to have sex with? The logic doesnt make any sense. Not wanting to be in a relationship with someone is not the same as being discriminatory against them. By that logic, straight women and gay men are automatically sexist for not dating/having sex with women. Just a super weird argument.


achoou_mlemsl

i mostly agree with OP’s post, but this comparison just doesn’t work or prove the point any further. it’s completely separate thing, not sure how it relates to this


Theonlythingleftt

Im just saying that its mostly genital preference. I know plenty of women who do think other women are attractive, but are repulsed by the idea of the sexual aspect of it. Doesnt mean they hate women/are sexist. Same with men. A lot of sexuality… has to do with sex.


KBlonded

this is false.. a straight man dating a trans woman is still a straight man in a heterosexual relationship.. this comparison isn’t valid!


Aegean_lord

lol wut ?


kinhk

Don’t try to understand the logic lol 😆


kinhk

^ this is false


Limp-Management-9571

So I am curious how can I say that I don’t want to date trans without being called transphobic? I’ve tried saying that I desire a cis-normative romantic relationship but I’ve been called pretty nasty things for even that.


[deleted]

By saying the exact thing you'd say to a non trans person . So if that is you're not my type. Or whatever cliche is used in dating. Then that's what you say. I never date and I'm not trans btw. So I don't know. But I think I'm making sense. If you don't like the girl or boy that isn't trans you'd say something like that isn't it. So just the same thing...


[deleted]

Just not into. Or maybe don’t say it at all. Without sounding facetious why do you need to say it at all? I’m curious as to the circumstances where this would come up. Is it when a trans person is trying to date you? Because honestly reasons are not necessary. Would you tell a person that they’re too fat for you?


Limp-Management-9571

For context, the very first time I was asked out by a trans woman, I said no because I wasn’t gay. I realize upon doing further research that what I said was definitely wrong. However, it doesn’t change that I am still not interested in sexual relationships with transgender women. The next times I have been asked out (especially in public) I’ve used appropriate pronouns but I still say no. They ask why and I say I want to be in a cis normative relationship. In my experience it doesn’t matter if you answer why or not, but it seems more likely that if you dont, they’ll assume you’re transphobic. I’m just looking for the way to not be labeled a transphobe for not wanting to have sex with a trans woman.


[deleted]

I’m gonna be blunt here and you won’t like it: your ego’s need to not be seen as transphobic is trumping your duty of care / kindness to the people you’re rejecting. Stop explaining yourself and if pushed say you don’t feel a spark.


EntropicBlackhole

*sorts by controversial*


EntropicBlackhole

Oh my god I'm scared to even downvote or upvote anything, like I'm definitely on one of the sides, however the other brings some good points tbh


Scyanyde

Anyone who says that a person is transphobic just because they're not attracted to them or just don't pay them any mind are idiots and don't know shit. The pronoun game gets old after a short while.


Bravo-Vince

Nobody who isn’t terminally online thinks it is.


_Pastel_Galaxies_

Someone would probably say is “transphobic” to wait until to date a trans person has fully transitioned 😒😒


GTSE2005

Saying something like that on twitter would result in death threats and hate from ignorant, insecure morons


Icy_Parsley6904

Yep. Genital preferences arent and never will be transphobic.


Superb-Spare-8032

True, you can't force someone to like someone. I think a lot of people get in the way with accepting someone and liking someone. Two diffirent things that you are entitled to as a individual.


stormfly00

So, how I see it. Sure no one is entitled to your attraction and you shouldn't date someone you don't wanna date, also things like genital preference is also verry valid. My thing is why tell someone you dint wanna date them becouse they are trans? Can't u just be like hey things don't work for me, or just sorry you're not my type. That way you avoid the whole riskey to sound transphobic thing. I count myself verry lucky that I didn't have to do much "dating around" since comming out but I know fornsure that if someone would straight up tell me they wouldn't date me cuz im trans would crush me. Where "I'm sorry you're not my type" would be like oh okay sure.


helmer012

Millionth time this has been posted and almost everyone agrees you dont need to take a cock in ur ass to support LGBT


altaluna

Ok that’s all fine, sure. Gotta say though I’m having a real issue with the “if you can’t respect my boundaries, I’m not going to respect your pronouns” statement. I realize you’re upset but revoking your “respect” in these circumstances is saying that you never had any in the first place because weaponizing this sort of thing shows how performative it is coming from you. It’s very much like using a gendered or racial slur when you’re angry while maintaining you’re not sexist or racist. It’s just not cool and it says a lot about you imo. I don’t care who you sleep with but call people by their correct pronouns.


gothicsnapple

thank you redditor! a person in these comments with a brain :)


RangerSavage

Deciding to not use pronouns isn't slurring wha? Gender has and always will be a human construction, and pronouns are an extension of that. Some languages don't even bother having them. So it's trivial for someone to be all that miffed when the person they just accused of being a transphobic bigot gets a roll of the eyes and no further consideration and respect. Have you NEVER started calling someone a dickhead instead of their name as a result of them being a jerk?


[deleted]

Someone has to be THAT guy and I'll gladly be THAT guy. This isn't a real issue. Never has been. It was manufactured by those who are brilliant at creating division through click bait. They took 1 tweet off Twitter, found a very, very, very, very small percentage of the trans community who agree with it and blew it up to get people talking and most of the responses were from bots and the very, very, very small percentage of idiots who agree with it. The very large MAJORITY of trans people don't expect strait people to be attracted to them. The very large MAJORITY of trans people are sane and logical and understand that this is crazy thinking. The very large MAJORITY of trans people don't want divide. Social media turned trans people into villains with this kind of bullshit and you're encouraging it. It's simply not true that you are expected to fuck a trans person or you're labeled homophobic.


RangerSavage

Its a sentiment I've heard before out of the mouths of normal people. Dismissing it because it's a minority is ??? It doesnt mean it doesn't happen. If you have proof of that uhm... conspiracyclick bait hate mobbing though by all means provide it.


Weary_Kick6151

Thank you! No ones expecting anyone to just want to fuck a trans person. If people get off the internet and meet real fucking trans people, there’s very few and far between who truly think this.


[deleted]

I think what you refer to is a new dangerous religion called Wokeism. Which is my head means extreme incorrect applying of social justice focused actions and beliefs. Like you. I have no problem with pronouns etc. No problem whatsoever in any way with people who are trans or neutral or whatever. Don't care. As long they love it's fine. But Wokeism Which is religious in nature because they are extreme and they no longer seem to see when they are just plain wrong and attacking people for wrong reasons. Because they are so so focused and narrow in mind on social justice that they see injustice where there is none. To the point where you are no the one who is been getting the injustice and they don't see it. This is like burning witches because they are female. This can be bad. It has to be watched vigilantly. This is the result from having no religion and being atheist I think Which is fine. Since I'm Atheist and open to proof. But they should really be aware of their extremism and in other words be aware of their bias towards exaggerating and seeing thing s though a lens that creates everything as being the lens they watch through. Injustice. Take of the fucking lens. And add nuance . Purposefully watch the other side and not to bash them but to balance your own extreme. I have had to do that as well. To make sure you're not going towards extreme where you don't see clearly anymore you have to purposefully look for the other sides opinion in order to put yourself back a little more to the center. Where balance lies and actual insight.


CR1MS4NE

Fascinating perspective


gothicsnapple

As a trans person, I agree. But id like to add; that you can not respect one and still use proper pronouns for them, this isn't something they choose; to be trans; so please use proper pronouns even if you guys aren't on good terms.


kidnurse21

I see a lot of that on tiktok, people commenting ‘hey we can dislike them but please use the correct pronouns’ which is nice to see so many of those comments


Badtimeryssa94

I guess I am pansexual because I am literally just attracted to the person. Now, I do agree to a certain degree here. If a trans person tells me, I'm transphobic because I'm not specifically attracted to them then that's picking a fight that should not be picked. It's almost like when people have told me I hate Christians because I support abortion. Yes.. I have heard this. One ideal does not have to correlate to another. Unless I directly tell you that I am against your rights I'm not transphobic. Stop trying to be angry with literally everyone. It creates a space where only certain people get their agendas pushed because everyone else is so afraid to speak out for fear of being canceled or hated for their real opinions.


SselluosS3191991

Not caring or supporting what they do isn't phobic either. That's called equality. Idgaf what u do just leave me alone


kappalandikat

I just tell people the truth - I don’t know many trans people and the ones I do know I’m not attracted to sooooooo ???


HalsPsychoticBreak

I once told my trans mate, who IS biologically a guy, he's pretty decent looking compared to some of them (thought I was boosting his confidence) and he ended up with some crush on me for years because of that little bit of attention. Cut to the present and I post a meme on FB about some Aussie guy who switched gender teams because he considers himself a female. Fair go, but picture heath Ledger with muscles and a pony tail in a woman's bathing outfit and I'm sure it'd make me you smile. I mean, isn't that half of monty python? Guy/she whatever the f led some tirade about being gutted that I'm transphobic now because I'm willing to a: joke about them, and b: no longer validating his team. Kinda hurt a bit to be honest cause they were a solid person and I never wanted to contribute to the gender dysmorphia depressed self image. But we all know some look like their identified new gender more than others, right? Or is this a cult?


headpats_required

If I'm understanding this right, your friend is a trans woman and you're being an asshole on purpose. Also, "a cult"? What the fuck are you on?


HalsPsychoticBreak

No I mean the psychology I saw behind the whole transphobic like triggered comments has an air of witch hunting to it. We were always assholes to each other. Giving each other shit is a very Australian way.


headpats_required

No, it really doesn't. Trans people calling out people actively promoting rhetoric that gets them killed does not resemble a cult. Stop watching 2016 SJW triggered compilations and making it your personality.


HalsPsychoticBreak

I think you're over simplifying something out of context. But you're entitled to your opinion.


cringelord69420666

I'm attracted to vagina, not penis.


Just_for_porn_tbh

Nobody is owed attraction in any sense but not being attracted to trans people SOLELY on the basis of being trans is a bit iffy. But do whatever you want, I don’t really care who you fuck. Whats kinda not so good here is the fact that you wont “respect someone’s pronouns” if they aren’t nice to you. Its like saying “if you won’t respect me, I won’t respect your name and will now harass you and call you bitch cunt in all conversations”. I mean cool that you respect trans people but if all it takes is one that is kinda mean for you to start misgendering them, it kinda says something.


AgreeableGrass5

right? like someone might despise a politician but do we go around misgendering them?


Pete_D_301

I agree with this sentiment. I have a friend on social media (Twitter) who is Trans, but I think that she's very beautiful.


genesisages

Every trans woman I've been attracted to likes women anyway. I don't know if that is just incredibly common or if I've just had bad luck.


orangevenomrat

Only a minority of trans women are straight, so don’t worry it’s not you lol


shymeeee

Gay and I totally agree!!!


1kpointsoflight

I’m not attracted to fat women. I’m not woman phobic.


OhImAMessRight

Wait so there are actual human beings with functional brains that think that that's actually transphobic? Bruh they sound pretty frikkin dumb


LurkyLop

Idk about you guys but id rather be with a natural born woman. Transwomen and transmen just arent my thing. You arent 'straight' for dating a trans woman. Its still a dude. Behind all that make up, all those hormones, even after surgery whether its top or bottom or both its still a dude and to date a transwoman is to be gay. Contrary to Twitter and Reddit, most men are not gay.


Full-Tea-7610

Ur wierd


headpats_required

If trans women aren't women, why are so many straight men attracted to them, but not men?


LurkyLop

Hey im not doubting ive seen some transwomen and thought 'Wow shes pretty' but thats the furthest itll ever go.


headpats_required

Cool, irrelevant. Trans women aren't men.


Paublos_smellyarmpit

I’m confused by this reply, can someone explain to me what OP is trying to convey?


headpats_required

I literally don't know how to simplify it. If trans women aren't women, why are straight men attracted to them?


unfuckthismess

“If you can’t respect my boundaries, I’m not going to respect your pronouns.” No one is entitled to your attraction but this isn’t a good approach either. Stripping someone of their gender identity for making shitty decisions is debatably, shittier. Try to inform people why what they’re doing sucks and is wrong (or just cut off contact and leave them be) but don’t go out of your way to actively make a trans person feel dysphoria.


Sensory_Slave

Call me crazy but id like it if my spouse didnt have the same genitals as me. Its not transphobic. The reality is. If i see a trans person, and i know that person is trans. I know that is someone i am not attracted to. And dont give me the surgery arguement. Thats just straight up nasty and you know it. Again, call me crazy but i want my kid coming out a regular womb, not some frankenstein coochie. And honestly, im sure theres plenty of people who are now unatrracted for other reasons. Like how being trans is the only thing they talk about. Or how they bitch and moan about being a minority group, despite being the headline of major news outlets for the past 6 years. Or, religious reasons. Are you saying that islam,judaism and christianity are invalid simply because they dont wanna stick their dicks in that? I woild argue that your being "religiou-phobic" or whatever. I dont have anythjng against trans people. But this forcing of ideology is WHY theres transphobia.


blvckcvtmvgic

I don't think you know where babies come from... Trans women don't have the reproductive system, surgery or not, to get pregnant and give birth. Unless I missed some major scientific advancement. And to that end, not even all cis women can get pregnant or give birth vaginally.


Paublos_smellyarmpit

I was super confused when I read this comment also! Trans women only get surgery to change their genitals, not somehow get a reproductive system. This guy needs to get himself educated ASAP.


Folsomdsf

Holy shit dude. You're a pretty terrible person with an education to match. This is pretty much the antithesis of what op is reasonably saying. You need to curb your hate.


Sensory_Slave

Dont hate trans people. Hate how we have to play pretend so they dont have mental breakdowns all the time.


Superb-Spare-8032

This is a vent sub. Deal with it.


MacaroonMurky1764

I’m sorry but this comment has me screaming 😂


HereticxAnthem

you're an idiot


Full-Tea-7610

Nah ur just transphobic


orangevenomrat

Holy shit you dropped out of school at 12 or what 😂 funny enough I do think we broadly agree on the issue, you’re just incredibly dumb.


[deleted]

Based


OverlordSheepie

Relax. Nobody is forcing you.


de_bussy69

a woman was permanently banned from hinge for saying that she’s only attracted to females. it doesn’t matter if no one is “forcing” us. we’re still being called bigots for only being attracted to one sex.


headpats_required

You might be getting downvoted but you're right. Nobody is forcing anyone to date trans people. This is just desperation on the part of cishets to be victimised.


de_bussy69

it’s not that we’re being literally “forced” it’s that we’re being morally condemned for not being bisexual. its not targeted at “cishets”. it’s targeted at anyone who isn’t bisexual which includes lesbians and gay men. it’s okay to only be attracted to the same sex and it’s okay to only be attracted to the opposite sex.


aldoXazami

This has nothing to do with bisexuality. I'm bisexual but I am not attracted to trans women. The jury is still out concerning trans men but I know I'm not attracted to trans women. I can't help that, it's how I feel. So as a bisexual I would be morally condemned for my preferences as well. You're not being condemned for not being bisexual, you're being condemned for the supposition that you don't view trans women as women. I would be condemned for the same. Which I must edit to add that I have no problem viewing trans women as women. I'm simply not sexually attracted to them.


headpats_required

You're not being morally condemned for anything. Lesbians and gay man absolutely can be attracted to trans women and men, my cis lesbian ex might want some words with you if you care to dispute that. Quit inventing reasons to be victimised.


de_bussy69

lesbians can be attracted to trans men and gay men can be attracted to women. gay people are exclusively same sex attracted. bisexuals can be attracted to people of either sex. gay people are being told that we should learn to like members of the opposite sex who identify as members of our sex. that is what is happening. it’s woke conversion therapy. conversion therapy, woke or traditional, is victimising gay people.


headpats_required

Lesbians can be attracted to trans women because they are women. Gay men can be attracted to trans men because they are men. Not everyone experiences attraction on the basis of sex, and even among those who do, most of them experience attraction based on percieved sex, they don't have some magical ability to detect trans people. Sex is a broad term anyway and can be changed. You are not being told to do anything. You don't have to be attracted to anyone. Get your head out of the TERF echo chamber and engage with a real trans person.


Kenney93

My friend, the way she/he is talking is expressing someone got angry at him/her for this reason and is being forceful. You might not be but the person they know is.


achoou_mlemsl

you know it’s okay to use “they” as a pronoun for a singular person right? no need to articulate your thoughts in such an awkward way


Silencer271

0 interest in women that used to be guys.


relatingtoneilperry

actually not wanting to date someone BECAUSE they are trans is transphobic. genital preference? valid. having a type? valid. but if you randomly hear that someone you like is trans and stop liking them because of them? transphobic. if the only think you know about someone is that they're trans and that makes you go "oh well ill never date them", that's transphobic. "trans" isn't part of a type, just as sex doesn't have to be all there is to attraction. i won't answer any agressive/transphobic comments. only people that are willing to learn and grow.


itsethanwinchester

You’re almost making me regret being so accepting.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Beer_Pants

Blaire White has to be the most reviled trans person among other trans people. She's like the face of yanking up the ladder


[deleted]

[удалено]


Beer_Pants

Actually no, I'm perfectly comfortable excluding her. She's deeply hateful.


MishAerials

You’re comfortable excluding her because she has different worldview than yours. Do you know what this type of attitude is called?


Beer_Pants

Actually I'm perfectly comfortable judging people on the basis of their beliefs. Where you choose to take issue is a reflection of your character. Her most popular content is making fun of trans people for their appearance, shitting on nonbinary people. I call that attitude "support your community if you want its support".


Nefariouscryptid

Hate Blaire too. Her whole career (and Kalvin) is just shitting on other trans people for cis approval. This whole comment section gave me a headache lol


Luciferbelle

I've been told I'm a homophobe because I'm not lesbian. The chick pulls up porn, shows it to me and says "I'm really into this kinda stuff. You like it?" I said "that's cool and all. But, I'm not into that kinda stuff. I don't really watch straight fr." She told our entire friend group "I told her something really private and she judged me for it" like no I didn't. I just didn't wanna sleep with another woman. She ruined a few good friendships doing this.


DanMarinosDolphins

Can you please Google this before posting. I agree with you as a trans person but can we not have this post come across my timeline at least once a day. We get it you're not attracted to us.


Kenney93

I am sorry you are feeling this way, maybe its better not to follow this sub? You know vent has nothing to do with how many times a topic comes up. People here want to get something out of their system by venting it out because they are experiencing it at this very moment. Its like you tell an angry person to go drink water instead of telling whats on their heart n voicing their feelings which is what “vent” means “the release or expression of a strong emotion, energy, etc.” (from google). > Still I am not belittling ur feelings BUT please respect that others have the right to vent whatever it fits your agenda or not.


DanMarinosDolphins

My agenda? Go fuck yourself. How's that for a vent. You have no clue how it feels to be told constantly that's you're unlovable and unwanted. No clue.


chrysanthemum6359

Well with that attitude maybe people aren't wrong.


Folsomdsf

Judging by this post, the fact you are trans is not why people say your an insufferable annoyance. You need to chill.


Kenney93

I am sorry you are feeling like that. Sorry that people have mistreated you. Please understand that this person is not attacking “you”. Lets be kind to each other, there is no need for insults please.


Paublos_smellyarmpit

Personal a little? Jesus, stop getting so mad when someone’s being polite to you. I can understand a little bit on why people think you’re rather annoying.


NoelleDoesSpore

I get that all too well. Being unlovable and unwanted is part of why I'm nearly constantly suicidal. I'm getting my vagina within a year, but I know I'm still gonna be unwanted, just because of my Y chromosome. It's terrible


MishAerials

You see, the problem is there are heaps of trans ‘influencers’ these days who do not agree at all, and make content saying how transphobic it is if you dont want to date them after finding out they’re trans. Then you go to the comments and see hundreds of people agreeing and insulting the person who chose not pursue the relationship. I suspect that most people are more reasonable than that, it’s just that the noisy, controversial ones are acting like they speak for everyone and the social justice saviors take that and try to normalize this way of thinking.


headpats_required

Demonising trans people for updoots


some_bizarre_guy

Heterophobia is real. The reverse isn't.


[deleted]

I'm sure heterophoria is real, but why do you say transphobia isn't? I'm sure there are some people out there who hate trans people simply because they're trans.


some_bizarre_guy

Before all this wokeness people knew that a phobia is a fear of something. Just because people dislike certain people doesn't mean they're phobic. Otherwise racists would just be -insert race here- phobic. It's stupid and overused, especially when most people on earth don't care.


MishAerials

You are correct when it comes to ‘phobia’, which is a mental disorder characterized by a strong, debilitating fear of something, however the suffix ‘-phobic’ is not exactly the same. It can mean a strong aversion or dislike of something. Still, ‘-phobic’ doesn’t apply to dating criteria. You might not feel any negative way about a certain group of people and still not want to date them (because you simply prefer different traits).


Just_in_Time23

I never understood you people that hate people speaking up about things.


some_bizarre_guy

Speak what you want but don't expect me to not speak back especially when all I'm hearing is lunacy


Just_in_Time23

The problem with people like you and your problem with being “woke” is that you don’t want progression. You want regression.


de_bussy69

do you mean homophobia isn’t real? the same people who think straight people should be attracted to trans identified people of the same sex believe that gay people should be attracted to trans identified people of the opposite sex. it’s both homophobic and heterophobic. it’s bisexual supremacy.


some_bizarre_guy

It's dumb either way. I will never apologize for liking pussy, real pussy.


[deleted]

I'd like to add nuance that. The people that wright these things in the comments. Can always later change their mind. It's not that they are fixed and set. They can doubt. I definitely hope that they are extremely young and just have to learn. Best thing anyone can do is purposefully listen to all sides of the political spectrum with the idea of getting the best from all sides and making sure you're lens is balanced.


Naphthy

I think cultivating ambivalence in this case is good, be with who you want and are attracted to. If they happen to be trans cool, if not cool. If you happen to never be attracted to trans people “oh well”, but if you fall in love with one happy for you. But that’s just my take


redvines33

I have a feeling you’ve said/posted some transphobic shit in the past in this sub, seeing as you’ve randomly blocked my main account and I am a trans person.


Beer_Pants

If it's a matter of genital preference, no it isn't transphobic. If it's a matter of wanting children, no it isn't transphobic. If you know nothing of a person other than that a person's gender doesn't match that assigned at birth, irrespective of their appearance, personality, the same metrics you would otherwise use to determine your interest in a partner, (items a and b excepting) then it is transphobic.


MishAerials

Honest question - why do you feel like you can decide for another person which sort of dating criteria are ok and which ones are not? Dating is such a personal thing. Is this about imposing the belief on others that trans women are EXACTLY the same as cis women?


Upstairs-Living-

Gayest shit I've ever read


somerandomname51

Would I then be transphobic even though I respect you people no less that anyone else? I love you all no less than anybody else and I would treat you all no less than anybody else. How would that make me transphobic? I just can’t romantically connect but would have no problems being best friends.


Beer_Pants

Reading the comment explains the comment


somerandomname51

This goes against the very meaning of phobia. You go way to quickly to assume the worst in people and that’s really not healthy. I truly hope you change your perspectives. I wish nothing but love for you all.


andyph0bic

I don't understand how you people don't see it as transphobic lmao you don't wanna date a person or have sex with them basically cause if what's in their pants. Plus like what if these poeple have had all the surgeries and transitioned fully they are physically the same as a cis person therefore not wanting to date someone just because they're trans is transphobic


Short-Step-5394

I mean, cis men get rejected because of their dicks, too. If they're circumcised, if they're not circumcised, if it's too small, or too big, or too curved. I'd say it's more shallow and judgmental than transphobic.


deadflowers1

I’m asexual and if a black person or a white person asked for a date i would say no does that make me racist? If a trans asked for a date i would still say no but does that make me transphobic? An overweight person asked me and i said sorry does that make me fatphobic? Or is it because I have no interest in other people regardless of their background? You speak like those on twitter, People have preferences, whether you like dating trans or not it’s your preference after all.


[deleted]

“You don’t wanna date a person or have SEX with them basically cause if what’s in their pants” Ummmmm yeah that’s how sex works.


andyph0bic

Yes but what if the person has bottom surgery and you still refuse because they weren't born with it


[deleted]

Because whether people like it or not a real dick is a real dick and a real vagina is a real vagina. You wouldn’t get angry at someone for not wanting to fuck someone with plastic surgery would you?


Folsomdsf

Hey, some people are into hetero sex. It's just that simple to be honest. They want some d into v with the instinct to breed. Can't do that with any type of surgery in existence right now. The fact you said physically the same as a cis person is factually wrong even on the most basic level. This is beyond human capabilities to do. It's the best we can do at the moment with surgical intervention but it's never even been advertised as the same as a born with set of jibbly bits. Also the surgery is for the patient not other people, it is the person who underwent the surgery to be happy with, not others.


DreamKeeperX

lets say you don't wanna date anyone with fake boobs either. it's a preference bro. not everyone has to be attracted to you and that is okay!!


TwinSong

It's a *preference*. Nobody's rights are being restricted by this. Someone can not want to date another specific person for any reason and the other person isn't entitled to date them.


elcamp3

>don't understand how you people don't see it as transphobic lmao you don't wanna date a person or have sex with them basically cause if what's in their pants That's how attraction works. >Plus like what if these poeple have had all the surgeries and transitioned fully they are physically the same as a cis person And if you wanted children?


[deleted]

I date cis men specifically because of what is in their pants. I like dicks, I don't think that makes me transphobic.


[deleted]

This poor person simply doesn’t understand that someone wanting to have sex, something that directly involved genitals, can be entirely contingent on… genitals!!


Middle_Purpose_3550

If you’re bisexual and you aren’t attracted to trans people I’m gonna say you’re probably transphobic. If you are into someone and find out they’re trans and don’t like them anymore you’re probably transphobic. If you feel the need to say aloud and publicly “I’m not attracted to trans people” then you’re probably transphobic