T O P
thenaniwatiger

Imagine seriously referring to yourself as a vigorous masculine man


Top_Drawer

What three words would I use to describe myself? hardworking alpha male jackhammer merciless insatiable


masterbaiter9000

There’s nothing on my horizon except everything. Everything is on my horizon


drdalek13

Classic Dwight.


-i-do-the-sex-

Wow. I don't think you'uld (means you-would, for those illiterate personas beyond screens yonder) even surpass a collegeriate academic institution, like i could surpass just by accident if i endeavoured to do so (i dropped out of a lower-institution, my destiny was too colossal for the system to contain). My diction can run circular motions around your measly attempt at appearing sagacious and sophisticated. I can write words in a manner that you are too witless to comprehend, for my diction betide grand confabulations whilst your proginetress twas a doxy (i didn't even google most of those words). True ladies want to be me, they luster for a night with me in the hopes of seeming something more than a boorish plebian, and true gentlemen open their door for me so i may enlighten their spouses. Those i date attain merriment via the mind, not the short-lived ecstacy of the elusive clitoris (only if i ever lower my calibre enough to date two-titted meatbags and waste time chasing primitive hormonal emotions like my hairless monkey brethren). Adios, lo estás diciendo mal (yeah, i learned spanish by mistake while touring the hispanic people's villages).


hyperactive_mess

k


Xerxes42424242

I wish you’uld was real


prinklesnout

You'd means "you would" you illiterate persona beyond screens yonder.


Relative_Ice_2564

You had me transfixed until you'uld, which should of course been yew'ld. As in an abbreviation of the classic English ye would. I hate these modernisms which make no sense.


Lazerspewpew

Why does this read like a Vampire Weekend song.


ariehn

bibliophile at all


RexBosworth69420

Capricious


VexImmortalis

I'm pretty good with star signs but I had him pegged as a Scorpio


flairpiece

I think he secretly likes to be pegged by Scorpios.


bigfootcantimetravel

No no, thats Capricorn. Hes talking about the drink


Ootyy

"But that's ... Six words?" "Oh yeah! You're right! I forgot about dominant and assertive!"


SrslyNotAnAltGuys

two wolves


NoWingedHussarsToday

>What three words would I use to describe myself? Can't count.


Dahvido

Idk why but this is so funny to me


The_strangest_quark

Anyone who refers to themselves like that is clearly trying too hard to hide that they're secretly not a man and they're actually 3 moles in a trench coat


SombreMordida

Vincent Adultmoles! oh man, it smells like someone did a business back here! *Secret Squirrel intensifies*


SrslyNotAnAltGuys

I'd better get back to the business factory!


VoilaVoilaWashington

There are so many words you simply can't call yourself. Everyone wants everyone else to call them classy, smart, well-spoken, humble, energetic, etc. But you can't use them on yourself because it makes you sound like a chucklecunt. It's why dating profiles and such are so hard to write - if you say these things, you come off as pretentious, but if you don't, you end up saying "I don't know, I'm just a dude who likes jacking off to /r/dragonsfuckingcars"


oOshwiggity

"I'd say I'm ☝️classy ✌️ smart 🤟 well-spoken and 💅a chucklecunt"


GrowlsBarkley

Why the fuck did I click that!? Rule 34!


Ned_Gerblansky

(Luca Brasi, to Don Corleone) "...And I hope their first child be a masculine child"


blank_slate_000

"...But their second child can be a fabulous one." (Luca Brasi again to Don Corleone)


Fala1

V I G O R O U S


MuscleManRyan

Haha.. yeah... all those losers... (note: username is an old joke/nickname, not serious)


thenaniwatiger

I’ll never forget playing Scattergories in high school and the category was things found at the beach and a guy answered “muscular mad men”, we gave him the triple points for creativity alone


Strongstyleguy

Magnificent


cBlackbeard420

monster cock owner


thenaniwatiger

Well I’ve referred to myself as that, that’s totally different tho


Tim_Gilbert

Online thesaurus returned it as a synonym for healthy or strong probably lmfao


twoworldsin1

[Vigah!](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/a/aa/Tapped_Out_Unlock_Quimby.png)


jaredtime

I threw up in my mouth a little


Wolvensong

That guy thesaurused the fuck out of the ending there, hahahaha


Fart_BarfUncle

getting his money's worth outta that Word of the Day calendar


hippyengineer

I Uhh… Conquer.


riftshioku

As soon as he said bibliophile he broke out the thesaurus lmao


Wolvensong

I think it was after 'intellect', because in his head, he needed to flex harder after admitting she was smart, haha.


riftshioku

You're right my bad


Wolvensong

No need to apologize, it's up for debate, hahaha


plntzandweezer

He googled: “words that make you sound smart” and put them all in a sentence


misswilde86

"Serendipity didn't go our way" It wasn't serendipity then was it, dickhead


kikkomandy

Show us how smart you are by using big words but fail to use them correctly. 👏


Swift_Caldara77

I use big words to make me sound more photosynthesis


craigishell

I, too, commiserate pharmaceuticals lackadaisically.


MossCoveredLog

mood


TheBrainforest

My boyfriend and I have an inside joke about these pretentious folks who use complicated words to sound smarter, our go-to mockery is "the perpendicularity of the photosynthesis of the situation"


Eleven77

Like posting a link to an article that backs your statement, but not actually reading the article.


VoilaVoilaWashington

This homo sapiens researched synonymic expediences the coitus elsewhere of the termination beyond, exuberant expression of hilarity


Synicull

I felt overwhelmed by his avalanche of over the top words just cascading to him dropping the c word. Like show me your uncivilized while intentionally trying too hard to look civilized. Biggest wince for me was the SMV shit. Like yes, your 'value' as being sexually viable is money, health, and attractiveness. Has nothing to do with anything else.


popsac

It read like he was selecting each recommended next word in his text app.


-Butterfly-Queen-

I just want to point out how you actually did use a varied vocabulary but it flowed well, came off as casual, and clearly natural


dozkaynak

Psssht none of those big words could show up on an SAT exam; to appear intelligent & well-read, everyone (especially the MegaChad in OP) knows you have to use big SAT words.


DisfunkyMonkey

Use of the terms SMV and MMV (marriage market value) is the most loathsome indicator of incelitude. A close second is the use of "female" as a term for women. Since I can imagine a very sweet and awkward wildlife biologist referring to women as "females" accidentally, the "objective data" market monitor boys take top spot for me. The smugness really tips the scale, too. When Jordan Peterson told this man that his inadequacies were not his fault, the world suddenly made sense. Now he's on a quest to dupe some ~~conscientious and agreeable~~ pliant and naive woman into propping up his increasingly unstable self image. His persecution complex will eventually include her as one of the forces of chaos working against him when she realizes her own self-worth.


SrslyNotAnAltGuys

/r/iamverysmart


mercyc1rcus

This was on there not too long ago


Frolicking-Fox

Everything after “I love the intellect...” was this guy sitting there and trying to think of the biggest word he could to put in each sentence. I mean the whole thing is horrible, but once he hit that part, you can tell he had to think hard what to write.


Stunning_Punts

I’ve heard of a dictionary attack but in a different context.


arturgad

I imagine him sitting with a big book on his lap, flipping though pages and going 'aha, a word I can use'.


BaconBitz109

So weird that he decided to pull it out only for the final 3rd. The sudden change in writing style was hilarious


vaalkaar

I don't think he knows what half those words mean.


foxymoron

His penchant for proliferative and protracted prose posits a sad pp.


QuiteMagical

Signed, Baby Kangaroo Tribbiani.


Janeiskla

Baby kangaroo tribbiani


Osaitus

At this moment i think that typing "K" shows a larger understanding of social constructs than to type a literal block of text that could be summarize in two lines


flawy12

that was the best part...this guy puts all this effort into being a condescending a-hole to get a rise out of this person and they just respond "k" You know that ruined his whole day after that


ProfitTheProphet

You know he does this all the time lol


C2074579

"K" would destroy this man. He feels so smug, the cognitive dissonance from being ignored would make him go haywire.


_Unfair_Pie_

My thoughts as well. You just know as soon as he hit send he made a hushed explosion type of noise as if he has fired a nuke at this other person and then put both hands on his hips and just stood there nodding to himself that his masculinity was rescued from certain death after he thoroughly obliterated someone. I just know that while nodding to himself, both hands still on his hips with his posture tight he thought to himself, "I'm so good at this type of thing, I'm almost too good at this actually. She's going to read this and realize I'm a "real man" and she's going to break both her ankles running to me. Heh. Niiiicccee." Or idk. Maybe it didn't happen like that at all .


chuckle_puss

I agree. This man negged with a thesaurus, but all he needs is Sesame Street’s letter of the day, “K.”


tenmileswide

The K is too good for them. I prefer just the "?" Or if I'm feeling saucy, just the "."


buttercream-gang

Give em the 👍🏻


thatonesquidfryer

Nah the ? may give them a sense of superiority thinking that you won't even able to comprehend their ramblings and fuel their ego more. But then they may take even more time to craft another message to try and insult you wasting even more of their time. Then use k


Difficult_Aioli6688

Dalliance? What is this guy the pale king?


davetronred

K The only way that response could be better is if the "K" was lower case lol


BoddAH86

Agree. Hitting that caps key just seemed like way too much effort at this point.


sumthin213

My phone/phone keyboard does the first letter as caps automatically which is infuriating sometimes. She probably just pressed k and it made it caps


davetronred

I will literally go back and un-caps the letter k when I drop it on people. It's the principle, you know?


KaythuluCrewe

I do the same thing with “no.” It just hits differently than “No”, lol


djsedna

definitely. "No" is like an appropriate answer to a question "no" is more like "I'm so disappointed in what you just said that I can't even bother to capitalize the first letter of this word. If I could have just typed 'n', I would have"


-Butterfly-Queen-

I just send a single emoji: 👍🏼


davetronred

similar vibes tbh


l3rN

I think there's an argument to made that leaving it upper case shows they care so little that they won't even bother uncapitalize it


davetronred

ooohhhh checkmate


l3rN

I think you're right though. Having been on the receiving end of it before, "k" definitely seems to have more bite.


Diffident-Weasel

If they're on mobile it's automatic.


Ouchyhurthurt

Hahahaha Or dropping the ole “new phone, who dis?


Jalenxt

“Lol 😂”


KaythuluCrewe

This is a man who knows how to type words into a thesaurus to sound extra super smart. It cracks me up how he didn’t use a single $5 word in this entire blowhard rant until he started insulting her intellect, and then he had to type “good at speaking”, “bookworm”, “playing”, “luck”, “careless”, and “strong” into thesaurus . com and pick the biggest words he could find on the results list.


Fala1

"You don't seem very articulate, lack eloquence" He couldn't even think of something different to say, which is highly ironic.


williafx

You aren't very smart, lack intelligence. Intelligence is your smrtness. You lack that. I am a bibliophile, which is a thesaurus.com liker. I am very smart, possess intellect. That's another way of saying smart... Which you lack. The intelligence. Also, too, as well.


floorsof_silentseas

Prob gonna save this as a copypasta ngl


SrslyNotAnAltGuys

"You aren't intelligent, lack cognition, are deficient in intellect, possess a paucity of astuteness, are devoid of cleverness, have a surplus of ignorance"


Joshmoredecai

His thesaurus is terrible, terrible, and worst of all, terrible.


-Butterfly-Queen-

More syllables = more smarter


dozkaynak

My favorite part was the myriad of grammar mistakes leading up to that part. Shows a complete lack of self-awareness on top of everything else.


suresh

When dumbasses like this simply substitute words out do they not realize without knowing context of how it is used you are going to sound ridiculous? For example: >I am very smart. >I am badly natty. This is the result of direct substitution using merriam-webster thesaurus.


sheezy520

Is SMV just something incels made up? I can’t keep up with all the acronyms.


Max_Cherry_

It’s a pickup artist / redpill term. You can have high to low SMV due to many factors. It’s not even worth delving into beyond that. In my opinion this type of talk just breeds insecurity. For shallow people only, but of course I would only say that because I’m a low SMV beta male. True chads have their third eye open. Lift every day. And every time they tell their fishing story online that big one they landed grows a couple inches.


Eleven77

My SMV is full of ABCs. Smoked your literacy like THC. Quick like my dick, thunderstruck, ACDC. No fuckin thesaurus, how's that for NFT?!


Max_Cherry_

Word to ya mother!


definitely_not_marx

Only betas obsess over being seen as alphas and social hierarchy.


P4LS_ThrillyV

On these lines what is an INFP?


Grootpuke

INFP is one of 16 personality types under the Myers-Briggs test, which isn't super accurate but its fun, you can do them online and find what your type is *INFP stands for Introverted Intuition Feeling Perceiving*


hippyengineer

I remember taking that before I was diagnosed bipolar and fucking hated it because the answer was different every fucking time I took it.


gordonfreemn

It's not rare for it to give different results at times, which is one of the reasons why it's unreliable pseude science. Anyone should approach it the same as horoscopes: random, fun (if you are into that) shit with no actual value.


Fala1

That's one of the official critiques of the test. Like 50% of people score a different personality type after a 3 week re-test.


13steinj

If someone legitimately puts their psuedoscience-based bullshit "personality" profile out there I think of them the same way as I do people who take online IQ tests. In other words, they're idiots.


SrslyNotAnAltGuys

I kind of want to develop my own test, just for grins. I'm a MHPN. Misanthropic Horny Pedantic Nerd.


thats0K

I'm what's known as a DILF, personally. Dude, I'm Lacking Friends.


Fala1

What type of vegetable are you?


Centorea

Astrology for business majors


jeffp12

Pseudoscience that actual psychologists hate.


ToastyNathan

I think thats one of those personality test results.


[deleted]

[удалено]


eamon4yourface

Honestly I hate that Joe Rogan listeners have become synonymous with this type. I used to love that podcast back in the day 2013-2016. It was just this fun space I could listen to while stoned and either listen to some guys shoot the shit and crack jokes while stoned OR even sometimes get the chance to hear an expert in certain topics come on and talk about weird interesting stuff. After the election I slowly started to tune out as he became very mainstream and slightly more political each year until finally Spotify happened and I just never bothered to download it and listen. From the Jre subreddit it seems to have taken a dive lately and even worse it’s become a marker of “bro science” “anti vax” “right wing” douchebag ear candy. And I don’t mind having contradicting beliefs on the show I really don’t. But joe himself went from being a fairly open minded centrist/right leaning guy … which is fine … to basically full blown republican fanboy. And I’m not some die hard liberal at all. Just sucks cuz I really used to love that show. Now if I told someone I listen to it I feel like they would be judging me. Maybe I’ll give it listen on Spotify one day because it’s been well over a year since I’ve heard an episode


SrslyNotAnAltGuys

Agreed. I never really listened to it that much, but I saw the appeal, before. Now it just feels like he's pandering to a certain audience. Dude went and sold out.


-Butterfly-Queen-

Joe Rogan is just an average curious and charismatic dude, which is why we liked him. People are trying to paint him as some sort of thought leader now and he's just not so it's annoying to those of us who recognize it


penguin8717

Yeah plus he gives great medical advice to millionaire athletes


PensecolaMobLawyer

Joe's changed a lot and people do look at him as a thought leader. Hell, Aaron Rodgers and Dana White called him for medical advice when they got COVID


shadowveeeeeeerse

In a Petersonian sense, yes.


Fala1

Not sure but guessing it's a red pill thing


CynicalC9

r/braincels


nipata

K


Tajatotalt

K


Auto_Motives

Isn’t this a copypasta? I’m 100% sure I’ve seen someone post this exact reply before, unless I’m having a SERIOUS case of deja vu. Edit: not saying this isn’t OC, but that his reply has been used, word for word, in another post on this sub.


RabidWalrus

Probably, but as far as I can tell, this is a part of a repost of a 4 page gallery from 11/18: https://www.reddit.com/gallery/qwpo9v And it was submitted to /r/copypasta and shared around reddit at that time, but my reddit-fu sucks and I can't find anything older that'd suggest it was an older copypasta.


Dethendecay

definitely a copypasta. everyone’s eating it up lol [edit](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/qwv0bb/alright_you_want_a_war/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)


FrogOnTheBog

Nah it's legit but last paragraph was so hilariously bad that someones gonna copypasta it, I was half considering typing it out but I knew it had to be done already


anon86158615

"You don't seem very articulate, lack eloquence or a bibliophile at all" you could not design a worse, more ironic sentence if you tried


Max_Cherry_

*Use of thesaurus intensifies*


Kare_TheBear

Use of googling "funny things to copy/paste to tinder" INTENSIFIES.


DivineBanana

Lmfao!!! It's hard to believe there really are people out there who are like this. r/sadcringe.


Suicidalparrot

You can always tell when someone has just discovered Thesaurus. com.


dislike_knees

You don't seem too articulate, lack eloquence or bibliophile at all.


mackafat

Not just any masculine, Maddy. The wrong, vigorous one, ok!


infinitesimal_entity

But, the Yin and the Yang are symmetrical, that's the point. You can have all the evil with just a hint of good, or all the good with just a dash of bad. Geometry is fun


360walkaway

"I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention"


sikstin

Isnt this a copy pasta? I remember seeing this like 2 weeks ago with the face blurred out


ElectricSnowBunny

Would you care for a dalliance, m'lady?


Dethendecay

r/atethepasta


fandom_mess363

Just wait until this guy finds out about butch lesbians…


joniijonii

lmao he doesn't seem very lack eloquence himself


Pcarttar

Boy got himself a word of the day calendar and was determined to use every single one


twoworldsin1

I like how he only started looking up words in a thesaurus after he mentioned his intelligence 😂


high-hungry-horny

googling synonyms on that ass


araidai

This is the first time I’ve ever heard “sexual market value” lmfao.


The_Bravinator

Very popular in the red pill community to explain why they only want to date 18 year olds.


CFT1982

Imagine sending that and thinking it's going to get someone to change their mind. What a doofus


pooder_man

There's just something so funny about how the second he starts talking about intelligence he feels the need to break out the three big words he knows.


The_Bravinator

Plus he messed up that whole sentence so badly. Trying to call her stupid and ends up accidentally implying that she's *lacking* a bibliophile when he means to say that she isn't one because he can't keep his thoughts straight.


-ur_fbi_agent-

>Sexual market value Mans be day tradin in cock markets


elle_the_indigo

You can tell he hit the thesaurus in the last half


dljens

Two yins don't work? I mean if you just rotate one of them...


extyn

Man's talking like he's Mr. Darcy when it's actually Judge Frollo.


frankyriver

You know the latter half of the message he had a thesaurus out and didn't stop to think about it properly. What on earth is a vigorous masculine man.


F_D123

Dalliance?


WhenTheDevilCome

Someone just used an entire roll of *Word of the Day* toilet paper.


Pan0pticonartist

He definitely has one of those stupid black polo shirts with yellow piping


Tuscanthecow

Oh no this guy again? I dont know if it was on this sub or not, but there was some lead up to this message. Nothing as wacky or substantial, but it shows how from 0 - 60 this guy went out of the fucking blue.


2dGoob

I get the feeling he has never been nonchalant about anything.


_darkstalker_

Looks like he'll need to swallow a massive amount of copium


Ttran778

That dude looks like the kind of guy who not only watches nothing but MGTOW clips but is always rambling on about something.


PleaseDontSayHi

Dude just drops every red flag at once. Homophobia, sexism, pseudoscience, "SMV", "INFP", useless thesaurus words. It's almost impressive. Also, anyone who non ironically talks about "Sexual Market Value" is cringe IMO.


wax369

"you lack a bibliophile" what is this even supposed to mean? Put the thesaurus *down.*


apexmedicineman

This guy listens to Joe Rogan


quietone28

Sincerely, Baby Kangaroo.


cursedfairy

Dammit I came here to say that! lol


kevinmart90

Someone got a word of the day calendar for their birthday.


Dichotomous_Growth

This guy spent way to much time looking up synonyms and misusing half of them. The funniest thing about these dick weasels is they fail to realize that their pathetic attempts at negging will never work because of how laughably out of touch with reality they are. Somehow I suspect the lesbian he messaged wishes men were as disinterested as he pretends.


lucasj

This man is just opening to random pages in the thesaurus. He told you you lack a bibliophile.


SkellyDog

I wonder how many times he consulted a thesaurus while composing this message


Minute-Ad6142

Bet his favorite book is a thesaurus


galice9

He's really trying so hard so sound smart with his big boy words....


Lil-Parabala

r/iamverysmart


badjer1983

I hope she feels better having posted her screenshot on reddit. WGAF? The only reason why I clicked on it was to see how deep the well went with the RESPONDENT. the "K" tells me... 3 Ft, No Diving.


shackolito

CHAD


madman1101

I kinda wanna know what happened before this.


SvedishFish

Context seems obvious, she said she wasn't interested because she was into girls


KMFDM781

I'll sum it up. He want fuk. She not want fuk. He mad.


bestieverhad

please tell me this was his opener


TivoDelNato

Homie just picked up a dictionary for the very first time.


TheDAYNITE

Wanna play 8ball?


morse86

V for Vigorous


Sonnyboy1990

Getting very big "Baby Kangaroo Tribiani" energy off the end of this.


Known-Photo-4332

I have 100% seen someone else posting about this guy. what is this dudes problem XD


coopnjaxdad

So many words.


iKrabiet

Someone watched V for Vendetta