T O P
[deleted]

[удалено]


belgianprince17

You could've lived your entire life without commenting that, yet you did


Blended_Reality01

And you couldve lived your entire life without posting this, yet you did.


Clearlydarkly

But you!!, could've been watching porn, but you didn't


DuckG17

You underestimate my power


Clearlydarkly

:O, the dual monitor wanker? Is that you


Blended_Reality01

I already do 😏


BKP8411

This was my porn


danithm

Well now every time I hear the spooky Bloody Mary, I'm going to think of this shellfish violater, which is an infinitely funnier origin story


ChonkerCats6969

u/EyeBleacherBot


EyeBleacherBot

[Hope this helps!](https://gfycat.com/dazzlingsizzlinghapuka) *^(beep)* *^(boop! I'm a bot! Please contact)* [*^(u/cyanidesuppository)*](https://reddit.com/user/cyanidesuppository) *^(with)* *^(any)* *^(issues)* *^(or)* *^(suggestions!) *^(|)* [*^(Github)*](https://github.com/getcake/eyebleacherbot)*


trichtertus

Good bot


voodoo19991981

Didn't know I needed this,thank you bot.


jajastar9

Good bot


smurfolicious

Good bot


[deleted]

give more


Purpleissus

Good bot


UhhhhhWav

Thank you... thank you so goddamn much


Nageda

WTF DID I JUST READ


DestroyerYou

I miss 2 mins ago when I didn't read this


Yeet4Beats

Same


Barbarian_Forever

Same


justadogwithaphone

Same


randomdfgiueshvjx

Same


idfkausernameiguess

now this this is a true cursed comment


Sitzen

U got unsee juice? Or maby a rope?


EyeBleacherBot

[little cubs](https://gfycat.com/tartartisticeft) *^(beep)* *^(boop! I'm a bot! Please contact)* [*^(u/cyanidesuppository)*](https://reddit.com/user/cyanidesuppository) *^(with)* *^(any)* *^(issues)* *^(or)* *^(suggestions!) *^(|)* [*^(Github)*](https://github.com/getcake/eyebleacherbot)*


t_e_e_k_s

Imagine if that was a picture of a rope


ThePcraft

Good bot


TaylorDeanMatthew

or a glock?


UltraElectricMan

Yes r/eyeblech


hybridtheory_666

Oh no you don't


MachineGunMaurice

What!? What?! What!? I nearly melted my brain with this one.


Notbbupdate

You read the plot of a hentai


bloodsplinter

What a terrible day to have eys


DurkheimLeSuicide

Law and Order: Lobster Sex Unit


redbadger91

Spe-shellfish victims unit.


TashLikeMustache

Chuh-Chung


Hayden5793

Holy shit just imagine explaining that to god


capsaicinintheeyes

"The 'don't-eat-shellfish' thing...-* no, go on--I'll wait."


DelDoesReddit

St. Peter: "Yep, straight to hell. Don't even bother , you're going there I really don't have the full time to explain but you know too."


mtflyer05

Nah, God is a dirty MF. He impregnated Mary, after all


MurkeyShadow

W. T. F. .... And now my brain is trying to picture it in an effort to understand what I just read 🙁


belgianprince17

Please don't


trichtertus

Too late


trevorsdiecast

Gotta say. I'm surprised it ain't Florida.


whiterunguard51

Nah, Floridians are crazy but they're not creeps


trevorsdiecast

Well, it's not fair to call her a creep when we don't even know if the lobster consented or not.


whiterunguard51

No one consents to having a flame held to their face until they die


Rugynate

Don't kink shame the lobster


trevorsdiecast

Depends on the crowd you run with.


TaylorDeanMatthew

we may be dumbasses, but we aren't pervs, jackass


404FoxNotFound

At least she died doing what she loved.


Bob-The-One

Peeing?


404FoxNotFound

Sure. Or all of the above.


Memanders

YES, finally I found something to use my free wholesome award on


404FoxNotFound

Thanks!


AstroBearGaming

Smashing her head on things?


scrambledeggsnbutter

Torturing crustaceans?


TheNonchalantZealot

Surprise shrimp pissing?


404FoxNotFound

Surreptitious shrimp spraying?


meatbeaterstreet

My eyes it burns


Few_Dinner9249

Use some [Bleach](https://www.reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/comments/atco4s/golden_girl_spots_her_dad_on_the_street/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)


MendelevandDongelev

That's exactly what the lobster said!


Gotekeeper

Like someone else said, I recommend some [brain bleach](https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/17980909)


meatbeaterstreet

Thnx


NoCopyrightDan

What. The. Fuck. Did. We. Just. Read. Why??????????????????????????????


DiffuseSpy

Regrets.


Gotekeeper

A thing that requires [brain bleach](https://twitter.com/hidane__)


[deleted]

Where can I buy a lobster and 50 pounds of shrimp?


belgianprince17

You won't need that much to cook for one person


[deleted]

Who said I was cooking them?


belgianprince17

Oh...


Zombietron010

(softly) don’t


Sword_slicer

(yelling) DON'T


SomeSexyPotato

(Screeching) RECORD IT AND DM ME


InfiniteTrident

what in the god forsaken godzilla's ass just happened?!?!


belgianprince17

A women just died have some respect dude


trichtertus

„Just“? In 2001


MonsterHunter6353

that was like 3 days ago dude


trichtertus

Ohh man didn’t know I was born last Saturday


EpicJafeth13

Enough Reddit for today


chadharnav

What a terrible day to have eyes


EyeBleacherBot

[Safety first!](https://i.redd.it/a15okxbphve51.jpg) *^(beep)* *^(boop! I'm a bot! Please contact)* [*^(u/cyanidesuppository)*](https://reddit.com/user/cyanidesuppository) *^(with)* *^(any)* *^(issues)* *^(or)* *^(suggestions!) *^(|)* [*^(Github)*](https://github.com/getcake/eyebleacherbot)*


chadharnav

I take that back


Antininospius

Jesus, I've never fapped harder. Congratulations, I'm naming this ocean of jizz after the OP.


belgianprince17

Jesus dude


Antininospius

You're welcome.


AstroBearGaming

I don't think he had anything to do with this.


[deleted]

even more cursed comment


Unoriginalshitbag

It cost you 0 dollars not to post this comment and yet you did


Antininospius

I love helping. You get a really good feeling when you truly give of yourself.


MarvelousMan3003

Of course, the wholesome award...


cursedrobot

Upvote this comment if the post is a **Cursed Comment**. Downvote this comment if it is not a **Cursed Comment**. If this post needs moderator attention, please **report** this post *^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^and ^^this ^^action ^^was ^^performed ^^automatically. ^^If ^^you ^^have ^^any ^^questions, ^^please [^^contact ^^the ^^moderators ^^of ^^this ^^subreddit.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fcursedcomments&subject=&message=Please include the action number for reference.)* --- If you want to talk about the subreddit, feel free to send us a message in [our official Discord server](https://discord.gg/tDzGCfc)! ^[faq](https://bit.ly/2VcIh9g) ^| ^[source](https://bit.ly/2W09Ebb) ^| ^action ^#[394d044a147480](/r/cursedlogs/comments/lg2sfm/394d044a147480_commented_on_post_cursed_shrimp/)


patoka13

massively cursed


DivorcedByShootgun

I still don't understand how I give wholesome awards... 🤔


trichtertus

This one is deserved


slippyboysupreme

[https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/lobster-love/](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/lobster-love/)


ANewPlague

I hope this makes it to top comment.


SnooDoggos7409

I hope whoever made this story burns in hell


Animetthighs

Well then


Ady_3102

A serious comment: that lobster didn’t deserve that cruel fate


PappiDogz

Chicago is the new Florida


Steve_Nash_The_Goat

Who goes "I'm mad horny rn, fuck all that normal shit imma buy an expensive ass lobster and shove it up my vagina"


AlienShenanigans

Just buy a dildo like a normal person omfg


[deleted]

Yes at what point do you look at a live lobster and think it's a better option ??!!!????!!


Rhizoid4

This is what this sub was made for. Long, horrifyingly funny things. Not ten bajillion of the same step-bro jokes.


Dqrctf23

I think I’m done with Reddit for today


drunken_musketeer

Holy fuck. I've read some fucking weird ass backward shit that I probably wouldn't feel comfortable letting anyone know I've read, but this, for the first time in my lie made me think "fuck, I might need a pause to process that".


Krosis95

I made others read it just to share the burden.


AJ-or-something

About what I expect from chicago


RubyGem92

Effed up on way too many levels man


AranaesReddit

I desire the unsee juice please


EyeBleacherBot

[Feel better soon <3](https://gfycat.com/bouncyunacceptablekangaroo-bunny) *^(beep)* *^(boop! I'm a bot! Please contact)* [*^(u/cyanidesuppository)*](https://reddit.com/user/cyanidesuppository) *^(with)* *^(any)* *^(issues)* *^(or)* *^(suggestions!) *^(|)* [*^(Github)*](https://github.com/getcake/eyebleacherbot)*


belgianprince17

Good bot


DoYouLikeMonkeys

The fact that somebody somewhere is seeing this post and developed a kink from it is such an incredible thing


Gaydar555

My eyes bleed


ARQEA

Ok holy shit this one's actually cursed


Grimwolf-77

What the fuck is this


RemarkableOrder9980

Excuse me... WHAT?


ripyourlungsdave

Huh.


[deleted]

I'm sorry that's just natural selection-


Euphoric-Clue8510

0_0 -_- 0_0


canine_introvert

unsee juice please


EyeBleacherBot

[Look at this handsome lad!](https://gfycat.com/fatalcourteousburro-caracal) *^(beep)* *^(boop! I'm a bot! Please contact)* [*^(u/cyanidesuppository)*](https://reddit.com/user/cyanidesuppository) *^(with)* *^(any)* *^(issues)* *^(or)* *^(suggestions!) *^(|)* [*^(Github)*](https://github.com/getcake/eyebleacherbot)*


TheRealFright

What another horrible day to be able to read.


ved27114

Just one thing ........ why???


SoulsAndSandals

Can someone Google this pls? I want to know if it's true but I'm not brave enough to Google "woman dies from masturbating with lobster"...


Lemmingmaster64

It's fake here's the snopes [article](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/lobster-love/).


Xrcane

u/EyeBleacherBot Yo gimme somma that eye bleach bro.


EyeBleacherBot

[Did I hear FOOD?](https://i.imgur.com/bjAfC1N.gifv) *^(beep)* *^(boop! I'm a bot! Please contact)* [*^(u/cyanidesuppository)*](https://reddit.com/user/cyanidesuppository) *^(with)* *^(any)* *^(issues)* *^(or)* *^(suggestions!) *^(|)* [*^(Github)*](https://github.com/getcake/eyebleacherbot)*


KreischenderDepp

[What did I just read? ](http://imgur.com/a/egppYNo)


crystalrayne

I think this is the worst thing I've ever read on this sub


daredevilayan

What the actual fuck


Darth_Kitty911

I've read hentai like this.


belgianprince17

Can you share the link please, just to warn others


Darth_Kitty911

It has the "L" tag, so I can't; also, I've been doing my best to forget it ever since I finished it.


Eggboi919

FINISHED?


MrLucid-2051

That can’t be real, I’m a pervert and I’ve never even thought of shit that crazy


sm-aug

Can I unsee/unread this??


Inadover

I’d say that the dude’s lying on it being a friend’s story. That exact same shit was aired in “1000 ways to die”


lucidxm

What a terrible day to know English


kactusdaisy

Every sentence just gets worse and worse my god


decoue

I miss the time before I read this.


[deleted]

What the fuck


Skrubious

what. in. the. god. damn. FUCK.


PrevAccountBanned

That was wild from the beginning to the end


r-n-r-

I'd like a zombie to eat my brain right now cause I really need to forget this post


leo_longo

I think this is by far the most bizarre cursed shit I've seen in this subreddit. Congrats!


Killer_King563

* procedes to pour 30 gallons of holy water onto eyes*


Narevscape

This has been making the rounds online for like 50 years, and that doesn't even make sense.


Brav89

What a horrible day to be literate


zebrabird4629

Well, uh, congratulations OP. This, this is probably the most cursed thing I have ever read.


EEE144

The fuck did I just read


Mr_Legend2006

What the actual fuck


MicrwavedBrain

What. The. Actual. Fuck.


Pickle_Baller

Don't give women any ideas


Ivan_the_evil_

women


Joes_mothers

female


[deleted]

[удалено]


krishk66

Holy shit


Wild_Spread

what the fuck


Jakesnake1010

...


SlimeBoyReddit

Yep, I hate this.


Peachy-my-ass16

I pictured everything \*shudders\*


Dogshapedboy

What a wild ride


mindbending20

What


RaiderGuard2

whaT?


Master_Freeze

Excuseth me?


AmarexC

Uuuhhhhhh uh uh uuuhh. . . I'm sorry WHAT????


White_Wolf_Rainbow

WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. F*CK.


28dhdu74929wnsi

This is why I love this sub


randomstuffcuznoname

The fact they figured this out was amazing and lmao at the same time


[deleted]

post: my friend is in forensics title: shrimp cocktail me: i wonder how these two combine to form something terrible


Tigers137w

AAAAAA NOOO


xXDankCerealsXx

Time to find a tall building, I don’t think this world is meant for me


EpaicSpace7

Very heavily questioning humanities existence after reading this Jesus Christ


Doctor_imposter

Ahhhhhh ahhhhhh why why what th fuck fuck fuckidy fuck did I just read I need to burn the world and quickly voulenteers welcome just make sure there is nothing left! FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!


emoweeb_286

i just read this twice to make sure that my dyslexia was not fucking with me


Elder_Scrolls_Nerd

Poor lobster, like just eat the damn thing instead and go buy a sex toy


salilroxx

I can't wait to search rule 34 for lobster/shrimp to find this!!


Smells_like_Children

Upvoting for title 👌🏻


MfBillNye

#WHAT DID I JUST READ


CrazyPotato2610

natural selection


Zeltmensch

Violating the lobster like that is kinda shellfish of her.


LiverLord123

Death by fake sperm


Coffee-Medal

Stupid Stupid STUPID!


Left-Increase4472

If you eat out her p\*ssy, you get a free shrimp cocktail


JohnDa64

Did anyone else saw the name **Shrimp Cocktail**


ultrababypunchr

Too bad it's fake, it would have been funny as hell to here more of the similar story actually happening.


Blue-Eyed-Reaper

That’s some damn fine detective work


mythicaljellyfish

kill all people 2021


Pappabeertje

Can’t make this stuff up man


I_Stole_Ur_Cat

big sip on unsee juice


EyeBleacherBot

[Wanna see a real smart kitty?](https://gfycat.com/farawaymarriedladybird) *^(beep)* *^(boop! I'm a bot! Please contact)* [*^(u/cyanidesuppository)*](https://reddit.com/user/cyanidesuppository) *^(with)* *^(any)* *^(issues)* *^(or)* *^(suggestions!) *^(|)* [*^(Github)*](https://github.com/getcake/eyebleacherbot)*


ARMEGEDDONX

She scared the shit out of that lobster


INuttedInABeeHive

Thanks for the advice!


Viriato77

And ill fucking do it again.