Physician made me cry today
By - swiftbillmurray
Former military here...it's not an excuse or justification for being a bitch. This person needs to stop flaunting that veteran behavior around and needs a professional intervention
One of the neurologists where I work is about a year out of the military and he's one of the physicians who is nicest to nurses/other staff. They told me something about how other staff could outrank him even if he was a doctor. No idea how true that is
It's true. Rank in military medicine(officer corp) is not determined directly by education level, but by years served, deployments, assignments...etc.
It's true but scope of practice is still a thing....a no nurse is gonna make a new doctor salute them or stand at attention for them lmao
Both hospitals I’ve worked at had a way to report unprofessional behavior. I have done it quite a few times with doctors (similar behavior), other nurses (various issues), and our house supervisor (who wanted us to violate HIPAA and give information out about a victim of violence to someone the patient refused to identify as family). Our security staff even used it when staff were rude leaving the parking garage or in any other interaction. It’s helped formulate a dialogue and does work when not used vengefully. We’ve had “frequent flyer” staff (even docs) with frequent complaints from others forced into a remediation plan to improve behavior like what you experienced.
Wow...I honestly don't even have an idea of how to go about reporting anything. Honestly, I'm not even sure if it's worth it in the long run...
Oh trust me it can be well worth it. If one nurse complains then more will follow and writing it down may help you feel better. Her behaviour left you upset and could have lead to further errors due to your upset. This puts patients at risk and is never acceptable. Speak to your unit manager or fill out an incident form.
It is absolutely worth it. I had an encounter with a physician that left me very upset, I went to my manager who told me to write it up. I didn’t want to. She said to me “do you want ANY other nurse, or any person who works here, to feel the way you feel right now?!” Uhh, no I do not. So I wrote it up. Several years later, that physician and I get along great and there was never another incident with me or any other nurse after that.
It's absolutely worth it. Hospital administration doesn't do shit unless there's a pile of evidence they can't ignore. If this doctor felt comfortable berating you in front of all the staff, this absolutely is not the first time she's done it, nor will it be the last unless someone steps in.
Take some deep breaths and give yourself some time to recover. You've been through an incredibly stressful event at work and should take some time to take care of yourself. But absolutely do *not* let this go by the wayside— it'll only make it harder to work with her in the future, and ultimately it's the patient that suffers.
Your hospital *absolutely* has a standardized reporting system. Whether it's MIDAS, SOFI, or whatever, ask your manager or charge nurse and fill it out. I had to MIDAS a neurology fellow a few weeks ago who came into a code stroke yelling at everyone and berating staff. You may feel like a narc or that you're being petty, but you're not— you're contributing to a safer environment both for you and the patients.
Yes it is. If she does it again you report that as retaliation for complaining the first time. The words bullying, harassment, retaliation etc are red flags to HR that something needs to be done because if they ignore those, they know that the organization has opened itself to a law suit or fines from regulators.
Report it, there's no place for unprofessional behavior. I can understand being frustrated if you have made chronic mistakes but for one off that didn't cause any patient harm, im assuming, then there is absolutely no reason to treat people that way.
Actually, there really isn't any reason to treat people that way at all. This isn't the military and you aren't her subordinate, you're her coworker.
I will say though about the people commenting about how reporting and writing it up may lead to a better relationship with her, that is not always true. I reported a physician for a patient dying, he refused to send a septic patient, after misdiagnosis him with A GI bleed due to looking at the wrong labs, to the ICU because they were a DNR. even stated to me verbally he wasn't sending a DNR to the ICU. Guy was asking me if he needed to call his wife because he might die tonight...what the fuck do you say to that when you can't get him where he needs to go?
Anyway, we called a rapid and got him to the ICU 7 hours later but he died a few hours later after the MD refused the 4th time and hung up on me...again. pressure had been 70/30 the entirety of that 7 hours just barely maintaining because the constant fluid bolus's but you cant give fluids forever lol he understands that.This was clear willful negligence and my supervisors got onto me for reporting it. The doctor would not give me any orders and actively took pain med orders off my patients to retaliate against me and the day docs would have to replace them the next day. It was hell, it never got better. So you can always end up in a fucked up situation, though in the ICU there is less lee way with that bullshit.
That doctor also pulled a gun in the parking garage on a colleague he accused of being a terrorist while drunk. The hospital still went to bat for him over me and all I did was advocate for my patient who probably should not have died. So just keep that in kind, especially if you live somewhere they have issues hiring doctors. Is report it anyway bit just be prepared that things can get worse.
I had to write up a ortho surgeon (of course an ortho surgeron) twice in one day for the way that he spoke to the nurses. It actually made things better for us. The CMO got involved and had to address the issue with that surgeon.
So don't feel like it wouldn't be worth it, because it definitely can be.
Ugh. We don’t do a lot of ortho. We do mostly hearts and neuro. Luckily our neurosurgeons are by and large absolutely lovely, even at 3am. It’s the CV surgeons...gotta watch out for some of them. We have RNs who were heart certified for years and now refuse to take hearts because they can’t stand the surgeons.
As for your guy, did it change his behavior at all?
It is actually better! He used to fuss at us in preop/pacu about the stupidest things but now he is pretty quiet with us for the most part. I would rather him ignore us than treat us like idiots. (He might still think of us as idiots, but at least he's not verbalizing it!)
There is ALWAYS a bigger fish. I mean doctor. And the bigger doctor needs a paper trail to do anything.
I agree 110% with this. I’ve worked in critical care for 7 years & I don’t put up with this anymore. We’re all human & the culture is changing that doctors are not allowed to treat us like shit. It’s harassment plain & simple.
For being 6mos in you sound like you’re doing a great job! Don’t let this affect how you see yourself or your abilities.
Wowwww. Report that shit. Toxic and I professional behaviour. Even with a mistake, you owned it and corrected it. I had a physician known for doing stuff like that try that with one of my staff over PRN orders back when I was a manager. Something like give the PO first blah blah. And they went off on this nurse. So I went off on them... professionally of course. Physician had to apologize and we never had another incident like that from him during my tenure. There are boundaries and we have to be a team or it doesn’t work. The same physician made a medication order entry error weeks before and that nurse was the one who caught it. MDs who think their Shit doesn’t stink give them a bad name.
I hope everything works out well for you. Don’t let this get to you. That MDneeds to learn how to play or get outta the sandbox.
Okay, so your mistake aside, this was absolutely unacceptable and unprofessional behavior on her part.
I once had a resident yell at me at shift change (beginning of my shift) because a patient wasn’t getting ambulated 3x/day per his order. He demanded to know why and I explained that I just simply didn’t have time the day prior as we were abysmally understaffed and this patient took a good 45 mins to get out of bed, walk down the hall and back, and get back in bed. I did not have nearly 3 hours of spare time each day to do this. He yelled at me stating “there are NO EXCUSES” and that *I personally* was the reason that patient is still in the hospital and that I was costing the hospital more money by them having to keep/treat her.
I fought back tears while he made a complete scene in front of my coworkers (both day and night shift were on the floor at the time). After he was done I marched my ass into my manager’s office, livid, and told him what happened, and said that since he couldn’t be bothered to get us better staffing the least he could do is help on the floor. I basically told him that I expected him to ambulate my patient for me that day. He did so (I think partly bc he was too shocked to say no) and I took a bit of pleasure in watching the struggle he went through to do it.
Needless to say he was ticked (not necessarily at me, but the situation) and ended up reporting that resident to his higher ups. I would suggest going to management and see if they will advocate for you. This is not okay, and I’m sorry that happened to you.
OMG the physician who yelled at me is also a stickler for getting patients up and moving. Even intubated, restrained, and sedated patients are to get up to the chair via Hoyer Lift each morning.
Which, I get the correlation between early mobility and a good prognosis, and I totally support that. But if for whatever reason the patient isn't up by 6am, she gets shitty with the nurses.
Also, it's totally UNCOOL (clinical term, here) for that resident to basically blame you for that patient's prognosis because you didn't.....neglect your other patients to walk them for 25% of your work day??? And he knew what he was doing when he yelled at you with an audience. What an absolute jerk!
> Even intubated, restrained, and sedated patients are to get up to the chair via Hoyer Lift each morning
Is that doc going to come re-tube the patient each time they self-extubate or the lines get caught when using the hoyer lift? What about putting in a new line or reseating the old one if that gets snagged?
Honestly, you get used to it. Dislodgment and accidental pulling certainly does happen, but not as often as you’d think. You have a buddy with you, so while you lift the patient the other person is watching lines, tubes, and drains, and slides the bed out from under them and pushes the chair in it’s place. Then you lower and it’s all good from there!
That resident is a dumbass. If someone needs that much help to walk, they need SNF or rehab. Hospitals can’t do stuff like that
Absolutely, I couldn’t agree more
At least where I'm from we'd have PT/OT come to help ambulate a patient like that, rather than a random nurse taking care of him.
I mean it sounds like that resident might agree with you that she needs rehab, and ambulating might speed her along to getting there, but that doesn't really mean it's reasonable to expect the patient's nurse to put that much time into ambulating the patient...
We have PT at my hospitals too. They will ambulate a pt once for their initial assessment, and make a recommendation. After that, they might come by a couple times a week time permitting.
LOL who has time for this.
I’m sorry that this happened. That’s totally unnecessary and I would have cried too. In the grand scheme of things you did not intentionally hurt that patient, and realistically not having continuous fluids overnight is not going to make or break it. We have all made mistakes, in the grand scheme of things this is a minuscule fuck up if that. And you immediately addressed the situation, took accountability and rectified it. That’s what is important. That asswipe of a doctor needs to be written up for creating a hostile work environment, and your charge nurse should have had your back.
Thank you for your response!
In defense of my charge....she was ambushed as well. After the whole scene was over she had to go, "What was \*that\* all about??" I told her that I fucked up and then she went into the 'learning experience' lecture. She was constructively critical about it.
It sounds very hard to do, but I can assure you that one of the best things you can do for yourself is to tell people (anyone, doesn't matter what letters are behind their name) what your boundaries are at work. "I understand I made a mistake, I am working to rectify it. However, it is unacceptable for you to speak to me this way and I will not allow it.." being a basic example. Another important thing is to say "I can tell you are very upset - so am I, because I feel terribly about the mistake. However, this may not be the best location for a loud conversation.."
More people need to do this at work, and with this particular physician.
You’re totally right. I was just having a, “Is this really happening?” moment and my mind went blank.
I need to have a designated response that I know I could fall back on. Because this isn’t the first time I’ve just silently stared at a physician as they get condescending and shitty. My brain tends to go, “Damn this is crazy....I’m gonna take a nap real quick because I don’t want to deal with this,” and shuts off. I need to be better at that.
Don’t blame yourself. Maybe for next time come up with a standard statement and practice so you’re ready. You’ll feel like a million bucks the next time you use it, I promise you.
I wish I could have the guts to do that ☹️ I feel like partway through, i’d start tripping over my words and burst into tears :/ I suck under pressure when emotions are high
It takes practice....sometimes the best thing to do is to take a deep breath and just remember one phrase...something simple like "are you doing being a jerk?" It hits back, usually shocks them and gives you a moment to compose yourself.
I’m resource pretty often and if a MD tore into a nurse on my unit, especially a newer or more timid nurse, I wouldn’t just sit there like a bump on a log and nod my head along. There’s a time and a place for everything and that wasn’t it. Addressing the doctor being a raging asshole to one of my nurses is more important than fluids not running for a couple hours. Just want to stress that you are doing great and handled that mess of situation like a champ
Reminds me of the time a resident was ugly to me about not getting a patient’s weight exactly on the dot at 7:30 in the morning per her written order (you know, when you could still be in report). I showed her where the scale was kept and how to use it. Said if you need the weight at this exact time so badly go get it yourself.
Hats off to you 👏🏻Would have loved to be a fly on the wall during that interaction!
I wasn’t even ugly or passive aggressive about it. She just looked at me like I grew a 3rd eyeball.. after that the med students were responsible for getting the weight 🤷🏻♀️
Report that shit. The days of docs being gods abusing whoever they feel deserve it are over. You would never speak to a coworker like that, she shouldn’t be allowed to either.
I agree. Write up an incident report on this doctor. At my hospital you could report anonymously. That is totally uncalled for and is a hostile work environment. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I would’ve cried in my car too!
Alright, not sure of the situation but it was an honest mistake. Is NS at 75mL/hr going to DRASTICALLY alter the plan of treatment for this patient? Are they now in an incredibly worse shape because they didn’t have maintenance fluids running? It sounds like this doc was just wanting to have a power trip. I cannot stand these individuals no matter what their role
They shouldn't be an asshole because they served. What a dipshit, because treating nursing staff like shot has worked so well in the past. /s
We had one of those too. He spent 3 minutes straight putting an shortcut on the screen saying "this how you do it in the most manplaining way possible (I hate the word mansplaining but his was accurate AF). She was awesome nurse who was too busy with patients to check labs on ALC patients in a ltc facility. That's it. Our supervisor and management found out, called him back and reamed him out forcing him to apologize. Talk to your higher ups. That's unacceptable behavior.
I’m new at a hospital and keep making the dumbest mistakes I can’t believe it.. been doing this for 15 years and look brand new.. it’s really broken my confidence
New hospitals always make you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing. New building, new policies, new people, new atmosphere, new equipment, etc etc.
It drives up your anxiety and makes you more likely to mess up, even on simple stuff. You’re going to get accustomed to your new place and you’ll be right back to your old self. It’s not your skills that are lacking, you’ve just been thrown through a loop with this new job. It’s just taking your brain a bit to catch up.
Thank you!! That makes me feel better and I’m used to my drs being so nice and these are so passive aggressive and mean!
To be honest, I’m more upset that none of the senior nurses around stepped in. If I saw a physician berating a new staff member, ESPECIALLY if I was in charge that shift, I think stepping in would be totally acceptable, even expected. This doc acted extremely unprofessionally and I’m sorry you had to be on the receiving end of it.
This is unacceptable. You need to escalate this to HR, to her boss, to whoever. This is not how we conduct ourselves in a professional work environment. I had a nurse chew me out for some bull and that shit stopped real quick when I went to HR. She could get fired if you say the right things. The only reason she gets away with it is because people take it and don’t speak up. Please please say something to the higher ups. Completely unacceptable
Also, did the resident not lay eyes on this pt at all?
Our ICU is lucky in that we have an intensivist on the unit 24/7. We have a night time and a day-time shift. The patient got there towards the end of the day, and then we switched shifts. So the night-time intensivist (he's a lovely guy) rounded about three times to check on the patient. The intensivist who yelled at me showed up in the morning.
It’s a team effort. The night doc should have caught it at some point. It’s his fuck up too. Please report this. I reported a nurse who had been there for 20 years, talked to everyone like shit and everyone just said “oh that’s just how she is”. Once I got HR and the DON envolved she got suspended and fired for some other dumb reason a few months after that. Reporting works.
Very much agree with this! Inpatient is a team effort. The night doctor could have caught it, or the previous day shift- if the intensivist had alerted them at change of shift “hey I ordered fluids for this patient” this would have been caught.
Errors happen, multiple opportunities were missed and not just by you. The patient is okay, but the doctor has NO right to speak to you that way. She should speak to her night coverage, and reconsider why she didn’t alert anyone bc an order entered near change of shift is very likely to be missed
Ok , so I don’t have a lot of time to write out a long reply, but my first thought is- “who the f is she to be talking to you like that”? And I mean that even after setting aside how completely unacceptable her tone and attitude were to you. Like, she is not your boss or charge nurse. She just is not in your chain of command., so it’s not appropriate for her to be asking you what you’ve been doing all day or anything. She can ask about the fluid and be disappointed it’s not being run, but she must be an idiot to not realize that you were in the room doing assessments all day. Wait, no, she knows exactly how busy you’ve been all day and is just a miserable person looking for a punching bag.
Report her behaviour and tell her the next time you see her that she better check herself and never ever speak to you like that again. It doesn’t matter that you forgot something - it doesn’t change that she is obligated to speak respectfully and professionally to you.
The good news is probably everyone on your new unit has been yelled at by her before for something! They know exactly who she is and aren’t going to judge you because she is so over the top! This should include your manager so don’t sweat it. Just learn from it and move on.
Unprofessional behavior like this can cause more patient harm than missing an order. It makes RNs and allied health staff wayyy less likely to communicate patient changes or issues in fears of being berated in front of people. I’m sorry you went through this. I’m sure this physician is brilliant and has saved many lives, but at the end of the day- no matter your occupation- if you treat people poorly, you are scum.
I’ve had a doctor come to the ER with one of my floor patients, apparently he loudly told a random person plans for discharge instead of admit after a blood draw, but they never told me.
I have never had a physician treat me badly, so when he was loudly trying to make a scene, I almost laughed because he came off as a toddler. I just responded and said, did you tell me of these plans? Because this is sadly the first time I am hearing about it. If you want it done, I can do it, but all you need to do is ask.
He realized I wouldn’t be pushed around and no one gave a fuck that he was making a scene and said, oh, yes, thank you. (In a mean tone).
I thought to myself, god damn, no wonder floor nurses are so particular about everything, they have to deal with you!
For real though, report her. That’s horrible. And next time, walk away. Steal her thunder, she was just trying to make a show. I would have said, loud and clear, I apologized once, I won’t apologize again, and I won’t tolerate you speaking to me this way either.
You did a great job! Keep your chin up. You aren’t the new guy fuck up. We all fuck up. Even the most experienced. Even that bitch.
With everything going on your bound to make a mistake eventually, ICU is super intense and few can handle it, youre still relatively new but sounds like youre doing a great job. Dont let some doc with a giant ego make you feel bad, docs like that have obvi been thru some shit in their past and with their extensive training feel the need to be a dick to everyone else to validate that god complex. Anyone who has ever been a nurse has made a mistake. Your patient is alive and well thats what matters most, dont let this bother you.
Fuck that doctor and fuck your charge nurse for not having your back.
Next time you are reprimanded publicly, please point out that it is INAPPROPRIATE. Even if it is "the way you are speaking to me is completely inappropriate" or "I appreciate your feedback, but addressing this publicly is inappropriate."
If the doctor wants to discuss something about your performance with you and the charge nurse- it should be done PRIVATELY. I would talk to your RN Manager about what happened make sure to say that the way it was handled by the dr and charge was INAPPROPRIATE and UNPROFESSIONAL. That next time, you would prefer to have this discussion privately.
Discipline and point out errors privately. PERIOD. Anything else is INAPPROPRIATE and UNPROFESSIONAL. These are words that human resources and people in management take seriously.
So sorry this happened to you. I've been there before also. Sending a big hug.
Yeah that's a tad ridiclous to get that upset over some fluids.....sounds like the pt is still alive so she probably has a huge attitude issue or something. Just double check the orders in the future and move on! :)
Yeah, fuck that. You made a mistake, but that in no way entitles this physician to talk to you like this. The days of this being normal or acceptable are over. You need to report this. You reporting the behavior may not lead to anything directly, but *there needs to be a paper trail for any change to happen.* I would file this under whichever reporting system your workplace might have, and send a detailed email to your manager (with quotes). Your manager would probably want to have a discussion with you, but it's important to have this in an email as well so that it's documented somewhere. Verbal discussions with managers tend to be forgotten when they're something that isn't in management's favor.
Even if someone is your superior I believe you shouldn't take ANY unnecessary bullshit from ANYONE in most circumstances, especially if they are being blatantly disrespectful and publicly humiliating you. I don't know your position or how badly you need that job at that hospital but I have stood my ground and risked being fired before but it was so worth it afterwards I felt so much better, the person disrespecting me lowered their tone and from then on treated me much better... I sorry you had to go through that. Some people are just miserable A-holes who enjoy bringing others down with them.
I’m sorry this happened to you, OP. This behavior is pure bullying and unacceptable unprofessional behavior. That doctor has a boss. File an incident report and also report this as workplace harassment in HR.
Doing absolutely nothing and playing the “roll over like a doormat” card promotes toxic workplace culture and further exacerbates the accepted fact that people can treat nurses like absolute garbage because it’s okay, you’re JUST A NURSE.
Idgaf how brilliant someone is, NS not running on a CVA for a hot second is fine. There are bigger issues, like how people think that having a god complex is acceptable behavior in a professional environment.
And the People who say suck it up and get over it? Bye to that noise. Patient didn’t die, its already a job well done, get over yourself.
Sorry this happened to you OP. I think it’s good that you owned up to missing the order. But did the patient die? No. Is the patient okay? Yes. As far as the doctor berating you in front of others... No the absolute fuck not should you tolerate that again. You’re allowed to stand up for yourself.
This reminded me of a time I was working a night shift and a PA came to see a patient. This PA had a reputation of having a holier than thou attitude towards others especially nurses. She would go out of her way to be uncooperative and demeaning to nursing staff. The family complained that the patient felt warm (the patient was 98.9 when I got vital signs not even 30 minutes prior and had a ton of blankets over them. Clearly they would be warm). I was walking by to go help another patient get cleaned up from a BM. Mind you I had supplies in my arms and I was the only tech on the unit for 24 patients. I was also on night 3/3 and ready to be off. The PA calls over to me and says “Hey YOU, what was this patient’s temperature”. I didn’t think she was talking to me so I continued walking to my other patients room. She then proceeds to sprint over and vigorously tap me on the shoulder and says loudly “Do YOU have ears? I’m talking to YOU. What was this patient’s temperature?” I look at her dead in the eye and say “First of all, this YOU has a name. Secondly, don’t ever touch me again. Third, there is a computer in the patients room with their EHR. Their last vital signs are conveniently updated for you. Fourth, there’s a thermometer at the nurses station if you absolutely need a stat temp. And lastly do YOU have eyes to see that I am busy getting ready to help another patient”. The PA stuttered and I just turned around and proceeded with helping my other patient. I must have been loud cause the nurses at the station heard me and I got cheers when I returned. This PA never said a word to me ever again when I saw her on the unit. But I made sure to say hello each time I saw her out of pettiness lol.
TLDR, OP you made an honest mistake. You owned up to it. Great. But absolutely do not take shit from anyone. You sound like a good hard working nurse. Don’t ever forget your worth.
You fucked up...it does not give her permission to berate you. Write her up and taker her to HR. Also...fuck anyone who did not step in to help you. The teachable moment is not about missing an order...but about no one telling her she was being unprofessional. I would not let this go.
I'm so sorry. I've reported incidences before. Ours was a phone number that we called and filed a complaint with- an outside agency. I've never regretted it. Things were investigated, dealt with, and it changed the situation for the better.
The culture with this physician will continue until she is called on her unprofessional, abusive shit. There are ways to handle things, and this is not on any list as an acceptable option. Bullies continue on with their shit because they get away with it; do not let her get away with it. You are not the first punching bag she's had, and it appears as though the charge needs a refresher on leadership as well. There is no way you can be in charge if you can't protect your nurses.
I know it's hard to stand up, but I promise it is worth it. I worked under an abusive physician, and it was so bad one day, I was six months pregnant, hyperventilating, and too upset to even stay at work. I had to leave. I'm surprised I could drive myself I was so not okay (thankfully I lived close to home.) I reported her, there was a big investigation, and FWIW, several people shared similar stories as my complaint, and they had the ability to do it in confidence, anonymously. Some people straight up told me what they said, but some didn't, so I'll never know. That's okay because I was validated, taken seriously, and guess who never abused me again?
It's not the only time I've made a formal complaint, but that was probably the worst and sounds like this doctor who hurt and shamed you.
What happened is not okay, nor is it acceptable. Contact the Integrity line or go to HR. I wouldn't exactly trust the charge in this situation who seems to be lacking as well. I would have reported her myself had I been your supervisor and saw that happen. I also would have said something- no miss doctor, you cannot make a scene like this at the nurse's station on the damn floor. It's not acceptable for the staff, and it is never going to be acceptable for the patients. Vulnerable people are in hospitals- they cannot be exposed to stuff like this while admitted for treatment. What in the actual F?!
Hugs. You deserve so much better than this. And guess what? We all making mistakes!! Even that sociopath.
I would've reported her. Something similar happened at my hospital so now I always specifically look for continuous fluids. I find a lot of people accidentally miss them especially if they were ordered towards the end of a shift. It sounds like you were busy. Don't beat yourself up. It's also good to check what continuous is ordered to make sure it is even at the right rate and line trace. I've found people running stuff that was incompatible or just didn't have the line connected and it was going on the floor. Hey no one's perfect.
I came on shift to a fent pca just running all under the bed. The pt was sleeping and never seemed to know otherwise. It happens.
Absolutely report it, to either your manager or to HR. A physician's job is to put in orders for you to execute, they do not manage, educate, or discipline nurses. Report both your mistake and the events that followed to your chain of command.
Very unprofessional on the docs part. Sorry that happened to you.
Long story short this doctor can go fuck herself. Absolutely uncalled for. And for no one to stop her little power trip is likewise uncalled for. Where the hell were your charge nurses or managers? Jeez
This “chew you out” mentality does nothing to promote teamwork and instead just creates resentment and allows it to fester. We have one doc that nurses are scared shitless to talk to because he just destroys everyone and we said that exact thing when there was a meeting about his conduct. If I fuck up, sure, I’ll eat crow, but don’t be a douche about it. No one lights you up in front of your coworkers when you forget to put in orders or something.
I’ve had this happen to me before (well almost, the doc tried to and I told them I wasn’t having it) and I reported it to Credentialing every week until they addressed it.
Everyone makes mistakes. You live and you learn.
Do not tolerate that. I know it can be hard, but stand up for yourself. I don’t understand why it’s accepted in nursing to have people yell at and speak to nurses like trash. Doctors are not better than you or special because they decided to be doctors. That kind of behavior would not be allowed in any other profession. Serious changes need to happen in nursing.
An attending yelled at me because some supplies couldn’t be ordered due to a serious shortage. I just walked away. After telling my manager, I called the doc into an empty room (because I’m a better person than she is and don’t feel the need to make a scene publicly) and told her to never raise her voice to me again, especially not in front of others. I don’t speak to her that way and she will not speak to me that way. She gave excuses until I told her to stop making excuses. Then she said, “ProfessorAnusNipples, I’m trying to apologize.” I responded with, “Then apologize and stop justifying your unprofessional behavior!” She said she was sorry and asked if we were ok. I told her to never again in her life yell at me. She said ok and I walked out. Done. Never happened again.
Also, report that shit, especially if you don’t feel comfortable confronting them. I’ve reported a doc because I was so fired up about what he said that I knew I’d at least curse at him if I confronted him. I might have lunged at him if given the chance. But I like being employed, and telling someone to go fuck themselves while trying to rip out their throat isn’t a way to keep the money flowing. So I reported him. Surprisingly, someone had a talk with him. He’s a brand new person. Only calls me “ma’am” now. He tries to say hello, but I ignore him. He doesn’t need to be comfortable around me. I remain professional, but I will not speak to him if I don’t have to, not even a hello. Fuck that guy.
She has a boss. Go to that person or file an HR complaint. Do not do nothing. Also like others have mentioned, you do need to learn how to stand up for yourself to bullies in the workplace. Practice it with a loved one. For example: “This is bullying behavior and it isn’t okay for me to take it. “ Then walk away. Create a statement that works for you and practice it.
Good way to not have a job anymore.
What a humiliating scene, but it’s one I hope you can take with a grain of salt. Some providers are just that way, over the top. Try to find a way to accept the lesson, which is to thoroughly check your orders, and let that grandstanding roll off your back. You’re 6 months in to the ICU, my experience is that it takes a year before you really settle in, there’s just so much to learn, it’s not called “Intensive Care” for nothing. You handled it exactly the way you were supposed to: took accountability, corrected the deficiency, accepted the “professional counseling” from your leadership, and you did it on center stage. That’s a boss move, and I’m no psychotherapist or anything, but I’ll bet that Intensivist wasn’t ready for you to handle it that way and it threw her off, and she reacted irrationally. Everyone makes mistakes, and that lady probably has fucked up way harder in her career than forgetting a few hours of a crystalloid infusion. It’s so encouraging to hear your co-workers came to support you, camaraderie is probably the only thing keeping nurses together at this point. Keep the important lesson, disregard the rest, brush yourself off, eyes open, ear to the ground, get back in the ring and above all, thank you for all you do as a nurse. We need and appreciate you.
No. Absolutely not. Please do not tell OP to ignore this. This was completely unprofessional and over the line. The patient was hemodynamically stable so it’s a fixable miss. And they obviously didn’t assess the pt for that 12 hours themselves so doctors team is at fault too
She's a day shift intensivist. Our night intensivist rounded three times. She showed up the next morning and was furious with me when she walked into the patient's room. He was closely monitored throughout the night.
Your response made me tear up a little. I really appreciate everything you said, it makes me feel loads better. Thank you for being so understanding!
Honestly, it wasn't so much being yelled at by the physician that upset me. It's more embarrassing that my co-workers were there to witness it and it may result in their respect for me diminishing. I work with some extremely intelligent, funny, hard-working, dedicated people. I respect them and seek their approval more than the physicians' or even admin's. (I'm also brand new to the area, as I just moved here a some months back. So my work "friends" are the closest thing I have to a social life. And we are social creatures, after all...)
If I saw someone screaming at someone else in the nurses station, I wouldn’t lose respect for the person being screamed at, I’d lose respect for the person screaming.
Girl, you *have* to stop piling the guilt on yourself for this.
Your coworkers are not going to judge you for *being yelled at.* We are all adults, and we all know that yelling in the work place is unprofessional and childish. No rational human being is going to think "my coworker is being yelled at, surely the only explanation is they deserve it." They're going to think "who is this psychopath screaming at their coworker?"
You made a mistake. Learn from it so it doesn't happen again. But you *have* to stop the "I fucked up, I obviously deserve this." NSS @75 x12hrs is not going to be the deciding factor in whether this patient lives or not.
You have to be kind to yourself. Are you in therapy? I only ask because I see you're displaying the exact low self-esteem behaviors I did years ago, and it hurts to see. If you're not already seeing a therapist, you should. Everyone should be in therapy tbh, but it sounds like you have anxiety/self-esteem issues that you should address, for your own sake if nothing else.
Please report! There was an ICU doctor I worked with who was horrible, smart man but no bedside manner or respect to anyone else (even other doctors). One new hire nurse worked with him in the past and said if she realized he worked here she wouldn’t have accepted the job. People finally got tired of his crap and started reporting him. He got a talking to and now is one of the nicest doctors. I had to call him. He actually thanked me for calling him and was super nice.
I've been yelled at by the best. Neurosurgeons and CT surgeons over the years and always just shrugged it off as a learning experience. But then I guess my skin is thicker than some of the thin skinned, my feelings are hurt individuals that nursing schools are producing. Pull up the big boy pants, suck it up and just let it roll off you like rain.
Great for you, and it's also difficult to get me upset, but fuck off.
This person's feelings are valid, and this situation is unacceptable. "suck it up, my generation had it harder than these crybabies" is an absolute shit excuse when someone gets bullied. Fuck off with the condescending tone.
I agree. We definitely need to change the old school mentality of accepting verbal abuse. It’s not a healthy work environment and no one deserves to be spoken to like that.
Fuck off, no one deserves to be treated like this in their work environment..
Are we forgetting that this is a professional working environment. What if you forgot to serve ficking water at a restaurant, would you expect your chef to yell at you
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why its a thing that makes it okay for people to treat nurses like absolute, worthless garbage.
Sucking it up and looking like a doormat.
It was a learning experience in how to accept verbal abuse by grown-ass adults in the workplace? It takes strength to stand up for yourself. It is the weak who are proud of being bullied and advocate the same for others.
Mmmhmmm... Spreading that toxicity. People are allowed to have and should use their backbones. It's called having self-respect.