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[удалено]


just_choose_already

Man I'd love a pet if i could keep my space vaguely clean for more than a day


Figgywurmacl

Get a cat. It will shit in the mess and the smell will be so foul you'll be forced to clean the place to find the source and remove it.


throwme1623

hoarders disagree


mmondoux

Ancient alien theorists say, "Yes."


Own-Marionberry2357

For real tho, u/just_choose_already, i got a cat couple months ago and before bringing him home i stress-cleaned my mess into closing bins. Watched him line a hawk the first couple of weeks and now i know what stuff is uninteresting to him and i can leave out (most things) and what to put away (strings. All strings. And fish scraps. ) I scoop his litterbox daily, and that’s easy and if i don’t do it at the usual time, sometimes he’ll lead me to it as a reminder lol. He’s lovely. 10/10 recommend adult cats.


funkopoplover69420

As someone who can't decorate and make their patio comfortable and private because of dog urine pouring through the upstairs neighbors balcony thanks. Also, if you do get a dog, don't use it to be a creep.


justgoaheadandsayit

How does one become creepy dog guy?


funkopoplover69420

There is a fine line between socially acceptable dog adventures and walking behind apartments looking in windows.


killwhiteyy

Their dog is pissing on their balcony? You should probably report that


funkopoplover69420

From the poorly written notes I get it's a teenage girl's dog and the mother threatens to take it away every time. She said she was trying her best. I'm mad but now it's a fine and I don't know what their situation is financially. I know the complex raised my rent significantly. Maybe I'm just justifying it but I've been mad as hell and I just ended up feeling like a villain. It seems to me that the villains in children's stories feel justified. I don't think they'll stop without legal action or animal control because they've been talked to by my wife and warned by the complex a few times. I don't want a feud or some lame shit.


killwhiteyy

You are justified. I had a methhead son of a neighbor using an enclosed common area (in a building where children lived) to smoke. It smelled like cat piss and burnt plastic frequently, there were stray crystals littering the carpet, let alone dealing with the tweaker himself. The family wouldn't kick him out, so we buried them in complaints and fines. I don't feel bad. This is YOUR space, these people are telling you that you will keep suffering because of their actions. The threat to take away the dog should be a ONE TIME threat and then the next time it happens, made good upon. It's not a threat, if the kid knows you won't follow through. It's not your problem. It's theirs. And that should mean fines if it keeps happening.


funkopoplover69420

Like I said I've been angry about it before. I just want to find an inner peace. I regret getting angry every time. No victory is going to make me feel good about separating a family and their pets. Guaranteed they wouldn't let it just stop there either.


[deleted]

Man I'd love a pet if I didn't work 60 hours a week lol


serrations_

Train your pets to clean the house for you, and when that fails... get a roomba!


BadAtNamingPlsHelp

Outliving your enemies with that list of issues would be quite the power move


Le_Martian

Roll over crunchy leaf


BenStarLight

I was gonna sarcastically ask if you had a braille smartphone, then i looked it up and they exist.


Teh_Lrkn_Memer

At least you still have those enemies that hate you...


passivevigilante

Gluten free pasta for you


yursenrush

I'd kill for a hot gluten free pasta


[deleted]

I’m just trying to outlive Nick Avocado


XevynAeght

I respect that. Then again that's a very low bar to set.


MrZyde

Outlive the Queen, that’s a big goal to beat


XevynAeght

Let's make our goals a little more realistic


I-have-seen-you-die

‍ ^****September•9th•2031****


TheHavesHaveThot

This is weirdly ominous


I-have-seen-you-die

‍ ^****December•26th•2027****


TheHavesHaveThot

Can't wait to ruin an entire season for my whole family. This is gonna be fun.


ludicrous_socks

Come on man, no one wants to live forever


Aryaras99

My unvaccinated buddy from high school then?


XevynAeght

Really trying to find a faster way out aren't we


braintrustinc

I'm just hoping my grandchildren can outlive the queen


XDSHENANNIGANZ

Why did we immediately jump to implausible situations? Next you'll tell me colonists on Mars won't have to watch Tom Brady play football.


simple_joe_21

Well that's gonna take a while


A-10THUNDERBOLT-II

Unless you’re both 90 years old you’re gonna be waiting long


CaptainoftheVessel

Probably won’t be long now


SpicyRamenAddict

small goals are important you know


FalseLocation0

I do not know how that individual is still alive


Flimflomzimzoom

As soon as he dies, I’m fucking out of here. If I die before him I’ll be pissed


finger_milk

If a man with that much wrong with him can outlive me thanks to his money or some other bullshit, then I know that being poor is the real killer. He should have died already.


serrations_

Being poor is absolutely the real killer. Outlive the rich


PandaCatGunner

!remindme 2 years


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Orsonius2

> Nick Avocado fuck you for making me google this. I was at least a bit happier before I knew about this creatures existence.


GlosxyMya

Won’t be much longer … *sighs* any mintUe nOw


MrStoccato

At this point he’s got 5-10 years max


[deleted]

hate that i know who he is now lmao


PM_ME_YELLOW

Wow setting our goals high are we?


TheBrokenNinja

Youd be surprised the shit a human body can withstand…have you not seen those shows with the one ton women?


ganjabliss420

Is his surname actually Avocado?


DoverBoys

No.


ganjabliss420

Ok cool I didn't think it was lol


Caustic_Complex

Who dat?


PureSmoulder

Someone who went from a healthy body to a hideous slob that gorges on enough food to feed a village daily for Internet attention. Edit: You know that scene in Futurama where Bender becomes human? That. Exactly that.


deoxyriboneurotic

“Whoo!”


jonny_wonny

https://youtu.be/iJk9a4Zyx3I Just learned he was a thing a few days ago. Pretty horrifying.


grasssmoker16

I'd heard of him but never saw this video before. I think the self-realization is extremely interesting, like some insight into the human condition. Niko knows exactly where this road leads and why he's popular, but he doesn't have what it takes to go back to normalcy. Tragic honestly.


companysOkay

Bravo, you somehow managed to find a way to bring up his name


TwitchyDreql

Out of spite, outlive your enemies and mom all are the same thing for me


Diligent-Motor

That bitch keeping you alive bruh


TwitchyDreql

It’s a love/hate relationship that is a net positive for me lol


17riffraff

I like the inclusion of spite. You can keep your life for spite, no returns.


[deleted]

Me, to the world: I didn't hear no bell


HertzDonut1001

This philosophy is the only reason I'm still here. What am I gonna do? Quit? Yeah you'd like that wouldn't you.


funnynickname

Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women!


IgnotusRex

The meaning of life.


17riffraff

Me, to death: It tolls for thee, not me, not today motherfucka


Hey_Its_Me_23_

Me in high school: I ain't gonna commit the die; dat shits GAY. I've since learned tolerance, but the sentiment remains true.


[deleted]

English is not my native language. What does spite mean in this context?


Arcane-Jinx

You're living to make the world around you angry at your continued existence. Or living because you hate the world around you. It's a bit complicated. This might not be the best example, but in Shakespeare's *Hamlet*, Prince Hamlet contemplates committing suicide - but decides to stay alive for the sole purpose of proving that the king (Prince Hamlet's father) was killed by Claudius (the king's brother) in a conspiracy for the throne.


[deleted]

Thanks bro 😎


FurryBubble

"oh? The voices in my head are saying I should kill myself? I'm gonna start living even HARDER. Why? Because fuck you, that's why"


Illumina2381

basically doing something just because you want to make someone else mad or you dislike them


El_Bistro

To do something out of spite means you do something because fuck everyone else. Example: a lot of people voted for the Donald out of spite


excerp

I’m surprised how I can definitely be powered by spite


kaleidoscope_pie

I've been doing that for years. Good to see it's more common than I thought. Although, the last year? Spite doesn't even feel like it's enough to keep me going right now. I hope it's working for everyone else though


fillmyeyeswithfire

Mom and enemies are top ones for me


Themlethem

Same, only my mom is the enemy lol.


[deleted]

Shitty mom gang rise up. Haha


BashfulPlum

My mom is literally Lucille Bluthe. Rise up!


howispendmyday

#HER?


kriosken12

Man its kinda sad to see how many redditors have problematic family issues. Really makes you grateful that your parents weren't pieces of shit.


Current-Pianist1991

And the same goes for the flip side! I still feel weird around some of my closest friends parents and they're FANTASTIC people, old habits die hard


lava172

Mom is basically the only one for me


Diligent-Motor

It's a good one. Not everyone has a mom worth living for.


GlobsOfTape

Hell yeah brother


[deleted]

My mom is one of my enemies I want to outlast. I stay alive for my dad. Faith that the life I want is coming keeps me going too.


SalisburySteakisLife

How y'all get enemies? Is it normal to have enemies? I feel left out.


Annoyedimhere

You have to be born into a royal family and then have the Lannisters cripple your brother and behead your father


igby1

I don’t interact with enough people to have enemies. Or friends.


KMKO926

same


_PrismaticDragon_

"out of spite" Hell yeah.


RainbowYaz

God has allowed me to live another day, so I'm about to make it everyone's problem.


Xarthys

Is this the approach to life which is also known as "Path of the Karen"?


th1s_1s_4_b4d_1d34

The path of the Karen is a way to many attitudes some would consider... unnatural.


hardknockcock

It’s also a great reason to just be happy in general. Sometimes when I’m feeling depressed I’ll just be thinking “man, my ex would really be happy to know I’m not feeling happy right now. You know what would really piss them off? *becomes happy*”


PancakeBuny

100%. Im full on the spite train. Though I wish my ex wife nothing but love and one day that she manages to have successful beautiful life with a child, family, and home just like mine. 🙉🙈🙊


_PrismaticDragon_

That's my exact take. Also, like I am, I am part of a very small religious minority that people like the KKK, GOP, Trump fanboys, and so forth, absolutely hate. They'd love to see someone like me hurt myself or otherwise fall, so every day that I live that is healthy and successful, is a fuck you to them.


HourScientist_0_0

🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼


Umbralnymph

I just started some antidepressants and this made me really happy


pedguinedguin

Happy to hear buddy. :)


Umbralnymph

Thank you ;u;


tastysharts

20 years in and I am riding the sweet everlasting tide of a more positive response to things in general. But the cognitive therapy helps with along with them pills, I think.


xfudhjxgjcty

Thank you, u/tastysharts


raptorboi

Happy to hear that!! You've probably heard all this, but I always tell people who just started them... Apologies in advance :) * Be sure to get your repeat *before* you run out - going cold turkey is *rough* and you may need to go through the difficult period of first going on them again. * If you can afford it, keep a spare box as a reserve and cycle through them both, getting your repeats as you go. Better safe than sorry. * Once your levels... Level out, you'll feel a lot better - I started to get really good sleep once I started, and I could think clearly for the first time in *years*. * Finally, once they're working it'll feel like you don't need them anymore - don't fall for that... Work with your doctor if you want to come off them. All the best :D


averageman23

I also just recently started taking them and this is very good advice. Thank you


mariakutty

Antidep gang and I approve this message, really good advice


dogi8

I started antidepressants and they gave me a severe allergic reaction that messed up my skin permanently. Just another sign from the universe that for some reason I am just never allowed to be happy.


Asahiburger

There are a many different types of antidepressants that use very different chemicals. If you still feel like you need them, talk to your doctor. They can test for allergies or start you on very small doses to be safe.


monarchmondays

You cropped out the original creators name with “starter pack”…it’s originally by dumbsoberbitch on Instagram. Damn OP, why the heck would you do that?


WorkingContext

Reasons to live: Steal memes


concretebeats

If memes were NFTs I would be rich enough to buy America.


HourScientist_0_0

The random Arab Sheikh. _laughs saudiously_


MediaMoguls

Saudiciously


TheOzman79

*"Wouldst thou like to live... Saudiciously?"*


real_nice_guy

> buy America. why would you want to do that? Have you *seen* this place? please reconsider


PerunVult

It's a great place to be rich in, though, and he implied being rich enough to buy entire thing.


lonewolf19-14

r/technicallythetruth


ReadyThor

It's bit of a fixer upper but the area is fine.


_significant_error

> Damn OP, why the heck would you do that? dem karmas


Prince_Ossomer

I am shocked that /u/illegalmemesforsale turned out to be purveying memes in an unethical manner. (Seriously tho: cropping the watermark is a dick move.)


Agreeable-Violinist2

Yup they gonna need internet points because its their life support for smthin idk


singlerpl

Now that I look at it, the words "starterpack" do look odd


stimpfo

OP's Username checks out idk


QuintusVS

I noticed this too, screw OP, love dumbsoberbitch tho, making my alcoholism feel relatable every single day yay.


monarchmondays

Yess dumbsoberbitch is so nice, great meme creator


QuintusVS

YES! OP however? Not a great meme creator.


XevynAeght

I've been living this long because the rain and my family


pancakeyellow

I hope the rain will provide you with many opportunities to stay indoors and make lots of good memories with your family. Take care bud


XevynAeght

Will do friend


QuintusVS

Source: @dumbsoberbitch on Instagram, it's a great account with great content just like this. Booooo OP for stealing content, you should credit the original creator poophead. EDIT: OP actually photoshopped the post to remove the watertag, OP is a certified douchenozzle and I hope they have a shitty day.


cawclot

Well, OP's name kinda fits, I guess.


chicksalsa

"Douchenozzle" love it


Impossible-Neck-4647

Reason to live calling out shitty OP


BoogerTea89

Crunchy leaf is top reason on this Edit: Oh man thanks my crunchy leaf brethren!!!


[deleted]

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concretebeats

‘Accident’


real_nice_guy

'Trampoline'


serrations_

"a"


TimSPC

I stepped on a pinecone the other day and I'm still living off that high.


JewsEatFruit

crunchy leaf on trampoline


SisterSaysSadThings

Crunchy chip is up there too


Booga-_-

We fucking loving living out of spite.


mightbe1nsane

Pets are probably the main reason. When we're gone for too long I imagine all they think is that they've been abandoned. Bottom reason is mom, my mom sees me as an investment tool for **her** future. Edit: their to her, my dad just wants me to not have a shitty future, but he still enables my mom.


RuruWithLove

Same here. My mom wouldnt care if I died. She would probably use it to act all sad and fake to get stuff for free. Other than that, the rest is pretty accurate


CrippledFleshPrison

We can still feel our pets for a while after we die too.


Scroop-Dogg

Q-Tip in ear feel good gang rise up


PrincessBeepBop69

Kinda interesting to see what comes out of there too, so double the fun :P


DoubleEEkyle

I got some raw meat out of there once. Canal so clean I just whistle through it.


KeepsFallingDown

How you gonna give me nightmares in two sentences like that, no warning


GletscherEis

Probably just the fine motor skills part of your brain. Don't worry about it.


PenguinZ20plus

It's harmful dude don't do it


notgoodatmath5228

shit guess i’ll die then


Moopityjulumper

Cons of sticking Q-Tip DEEP inside ear - almost guaranteed damage to eardrum - pushes wax further into your ear, the build up of which can cause hearing problem - increases risk of infection by placing a foreign object into a delicate system - can leave bits of cotton in ears, leading to buildup and infections Pros of sticking Q-Tip DEEP inside ear - hehe ear feel nice I know what I’m choosing! ^^sorry ^but ^I ^*am* ^choosing ^the ^fucking ^Q-Tips


Dionyzoz

what are you meant to do?


SiliconRain

I've heard this like all my life. From when I was a kid, I was warned of the danger of sticking anything in my ears. "Nothing smaller than your elbow in your ear!", my grandma would say. I didn't really get that one. But whatever, right? Those are just old-people concerns and I'm a smart young person, in control of my own destiny. Why should I listen? These old people were probably just repeating an antiquated and unscientific cautionary tale told to them by *their* parents without ever questioning it. I'll be careful! I'll know when it's too far! I'm not going to just stab it in there! What could be the harm? So I started cleaning my ears with q-tips. One day I went a bit too far. Didn't feel like much at the time. Six years later and I still don't hear very well from my left ear and it makes an uncomfortable popping noise/sensation every time I hear anything much louder than a whisper. It's super annoying. Don't do it, kids. Listen to your parents.


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HertzDonut1001

The elbow thing comes from people telling you you can only clean your ear with your elbow. Not physically possible, try it. It's just a saying meaning don't do it.


Superbrawlfan

Wait, like, people stick those all the way in????


boofthatcraphomie

Until you hear rumbling noises


komnenos

Trying to break the habit, once every few weeks is okay but for some reason when I do it more often it leaves me with a bit of a headache, sore throat and sometimes heartburn.


EightByteOwl

because putting q-tips in your ear is a big no-no medically that can rupture your eardrum, which is why even the official packaging says not to do that. not that it stops anybody, myself included lmao


lennoxonnell

It's not just that you can damage you're eardrum, you're also packing the wax in deeper by using q-tips. Any time you've pulled a nice chunk of wax from your ear with a Q-Tip, I guarantee there is a bigger piece of wax you just pushed in deeper.


boofthatcraphomie

What can i stick on my ear to get that big chunk out? They need make a hook version of q-tips.


joanoerting

My uncle, who is a doctor, always says that the only thing you should use to clean your ears by yourself is your elbow.


h1tmanc3

I just tried this and now I fucking hate you, thank you for giving me a reason to live because you are now my enemy.


RealArmin

Can confirm. I've been pretty much half deaf since 5 years ago because I pushed a q-tip in and I have some wax on my drum that is so stuck that it can't even be washed out at the GP.


Eunomic

I was very careful, and I still lost some of my hearing. Scar tissue just doesn't function the same. Now when I have colds or swim I have more and more complications. It really is a bad gamble, friends.


rhuzewl

TMI // I got my ears cleaned a few months back bc of impacted wax as the result of a childhood of “oh just use a q tip to clean your ears so none gets on your earbuds” my ears now constantly itch, so i gently scratch them with a tiny tiny wet brush, and when i tell you it feels good, i feel like i’m doing something so dangerous but also so comforting So yes, q tip in ear gang


Bavlet

Anyone else have their gag reflex go when using a q-tip in their ear?


That2RandomRedditor

I get a coughing reflex sometimes.


silverback_79

Stepping on a newly-frozen water puddle. *Kroingkz!*


Jayer244

Listen, I just wanna know how One Piece ends. That's all I want from life


shadeOfAwave

Wait til someone posts this to /r/thanksimcured


5head3skin

It's obviously not a permanent solution for your situation but external and trivial stuff like this has really helped me at least, to get by. Waiting on some new media or space launch to happen might give you the time you need to be able to stand up.


PenguinZ20plus

Q-tips can damage your ear


DerAkte

Came here for this. Be careful, you probably push the stuff further in with them


wordup46

**Will** damage your ear. Its not even the poking around thats the problem. Its the little fibers. Some stay in your ear, and act like a seed for earwax to gather on to, that gets so big that the earwax gets stuck, leading to earwax blocking up your ear


Triple-Deke

What if I have no earwax and just use them to dry my ears after the shower?


metalupurass2

Push too deep and you might accidentally factory reset yourself


100_Donuts

Do people really have "enemies" to outlive? Gosh, I sure hope no one hates me enough for them to consider me their enemy! Especially since I live a very healthy and clean lifestyle that will surely put me into the top percentile of long lived people in my age group. Geesh, if I'm the enemy of anyone, they're sure gonna be disappointed on their deathbed...


kbig22432

I hate you. Enemy!


kilo4fun

That's a Disturbed song right?


Haniihii

This girl in my art class in hs said I'd amount to nothing and she'd be famous, when all she ever did was copy photos. I refuse to give up because I have her snarky face in my mind, good life to her but also fuck her I'll do what I love and make some money with my art someday


HourScientist_0_0

Also 🖕🏼 Out of spite


MigMigHugh

I had a bipolar classmate that hates me so much because I'm pretty close to his (ex)bestfriend and friendgroup, he has this personality of looking down on others that he thinks that are dumber than him. I know you're supposed to tolerate them because of their situation but the amount of dumbass things he's done to me and my friends for no reason is my reason to consider him as my enemy


williepep1960

this is actually so cool ngl. I was watching yesterday youtube video, working class breakfast in 1820, what a fucking hastle that was for them, it took 1-2 hours to make a meal, nowdays we make a meal in 5 minutes, actually you don't even have to make you bought everything sitting in the fridge.


SuccMyStrangerThings

I'm just having so bad time rn :'(


adamroadmusic

None of these reasons apply to me...


sebastianwillows

At 24, with nothing to show for it, I don't think it's getting *better* any time soon. I'm getting older, lonelier, and more tired every day. ...I do love my cat though, she's cute.


HertzDonut1001

24 is still young. Cherish all the days before 30. Then when you're 30 cherish all the days before 40. Ain't nobody got a perfect life. Some people say youth is wasted on the young. Prove them wrong.


A_Binary_Number

I mean, they say “it will get better” but then they convince you to not suicide and things get infinitely worse, to the point where you say “Those bastards fucking lied to me” Then you start questions if people are really worried about you or they’re just doing it for themselves.


IntoxicatedPotatoe

Loved ones being sad really do be the main reason I haven't offed myself yet


13ame

Don‘t stick q-Tip in ear :)


Metool42

I'm gonna do it and i'm gonna continue to have amazing eargasms


chaoticaly_x

Damn. Are all these good enough reasons?


nutellablumpkin

Nice! Here's another: The James Webb Telescope is approved for launch on December 22, 2021!! This telescope will change the way we perceive the universe as we know it. It's gonna change everything! We're lucky enough to be alive at the time of It's launch, might as well stick around a bit longer to see the first images returned, right? And who knows... maybe by then things will have already started to get better 😊