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He must be protected. This kid is going to be a father one day, he’s already got the dad jokes.

Currently he is a faux pa

"You're not my real dad!" That one stings a lot

Especially after you go out of your way to kidnap them.

Kids can be so rude 🙄

I don't get it, pls explain

Pickup trucks lined up in a line

what's with the girl with the percentages though

It’s a blush meter on how good your pickup line is. Look at the picture

Lmao I thought it was speed of the pickup truck😭

Can you explain the comic?

I guess it's just a girl's reaction and rating to hearing pickup lines

ok, what's going on on last picture?

Ohh i thought they were running a train on her

Pickup line - a line of pickup trucks

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Beep beep

I'm a sheep

said beep beep i'm a sheep

Beep beep

I’m a sheep

Faux pas is and expression, and means an embarrassing or tactless act or remark in a social situation. They used a play on words to make it sound like pa for Padre which means father

Already got dad jokes because 99% of that subreddit is old men pretending to be teens.

Is the other 1% the FBI pretending to be 16/F/Cali?

Yes. Fun to talk to.

Nodding head slowly

Bro got plot armor

Do you like water? Yes? Then you like 70% of me already, let's work on the remaining 30

Yeah time to get more hydrated

r/Hydrohomies

"Your body is 70% water and *I'm thirsty.*"

More pervy but I like it too

Or worrying

“My body is 70% water and you look parched”

“Do you like water?” “Not really.” “Oh”

She wasn't worth the effort then

She ain't a hydro-homie

"Do you like water?" "Yeah, but only carbonated water" "oh."

If you have a bubbly personality it could still work. 😉

I got bubbly ass. Will that work?

That’s fine because I’m 18.5 percent carbon ☺️

Oh man, you got the Imogus profile pic.

Applstor

imogus

Havent you heard of apples new product? Its called the Imogus.

Oh that is amazing

Are you my homework? Because I want to take you home, slam you on my desk, and do you all night.

"because I want to take you home and then be anxious about doing you all night, then finish as quickly as possible before bed"

LOL

Even better

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that's a great pickup line

The family who drops out together stays together.

Homework is more like a „if u don’t do it ur grade gets slightly worse“ so not doing homework is not that big of a deal no one’s getting kicked out of school because of that.

Damn at my school it was like 50% of your grade, the rest being finals, presentations/essays, and random tests and quizzes

These posts are always weird, maybe I'm just a goober but I can't imagine ever getting past 20% from an online comment

I think people pretend that someone said those pickup lines irl to them

Damn are you a lake because I want to drown in you

I misread this as “damn are you in a lake because I want to drown you”

100%

20% of what, though? I can't figure it out!

flustered, with 100% implied enough so as to leave

20% of sauna temperature as it looks like

Ok not just me then

I don’t think it’s too dissimilar to when someone says something like “HAHA IM SCREAMING” on a strangers social media post

here, here's an example of a 100% https://deathbulge.com/comics/384

>Great pickup lines *"Come with me if you want to live."* Heard it in a chick flick from the 80's. Some movie about a ditzy waitress becoming a strong independant woman. The hot dude used that pickup line on her, and they drive off and found some secluded spot where they make plastique explosives together... after which she teaches him the mysteries of love. In the end, she has to drag him away from the bad guy who she squishes with some machine while saying the badass line "You're terminated!" The movie ends with her driving off into the unknown with a sweet dog. Chick flicks used to be cool.

"Get in the van if you want to live" Yes that will do nicely

100%

r/beatmetoit

So do you lose control of your psychic powers now..? I’m not sure how this works

No, that's ???%

No it's??!!-)++((¿‽!;';"-&;÷√πsfavbh%

I have one I learned in chemistry class back in high school: Hey girl are you made of copper and tellurium? Cuz you’re Cu Te!

This one is always good

Thanks! :D

You're welcome!

Teach me pls

I have nothing to teach, I am rizzless

😭

Well let me fill you up and lick you then

That remembers me of “are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur and carbon? Cuz damn… Au Ti S Ti C“

Sodium

Yttrium Einsteinium

Francium

Nitrogen Oxygen Calcium Phosphorus.

>remembers me of >Au Ti S Ti C Sounds right to me (Sorry)

Chemistry memes, jokes and phrases are alwyas bangers. This is the true purpose of the Periodic Table

Damn girl, you must be packing Nickel, cerium, Arsenic, and sulfur, cause NiCe AsS Edit: changed auto correct of Cesium -> Cerium

It's also an accidental reference to The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, a book on autism in which the main character, a boy with autism, sees red cars as a sign that good things are to come. The more, the better. I like to think the commenter imagined OP whispering "five red cars" in her ear.

Loved that book, especially the cut aways to math problems

The only book that made me cry at the end. I pretty much never cry, it was bullied out of me. So much of the book resonated deeply with me, the final half just kind of broke me. After I finished it I had to hug my wife tightly for an hour, silently sobbing. I doubt everyone would get the same out of that book as I did, but I still highly recommend it.

It's been so long that I don't even remember the ending. It was something with his mother, right?

Yeah, spoilers though.

Thanks! I couldn't get it to hide the text, so I decided to just be vague.

Bro just interpreted this Reddit comment like a goth grade English teacher.

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I've heard so many variations of the Uranus pickup line in that post that I don't even find them funny anymore

Bummer.

I barely even know 'er!

The ol' Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

There’s also the ol’ “Lets not turn this rape into a murder!”

Look buddy, you're never going to win the steak knives with that attitude.

100% success rate!

I'll give it the old college try: I want to treat you like my favorite book. Enjoy you under a cozy blanket and front to back. Hey, are you an asymptote? I just had to come over and approach you. You must be an infinite loop, cause you're making my stack overflow. The last one was the least inspired, but had to do it. Rule of three and all that jazz.

Stack overflow joke was nice

Hey girl are you a pinky toe? Cuz ur small, cute, and I'm gonna smash you on my coffee table tonight.

Are you a school? Coz i wanna shoot some kids inside you

💀💀💀

r/cursedcomments

It wont work often, but if it does, you either found someone with really dark humor or some kind of psychopath.

Perfect!

My kind of girl!

You must be made of rope cuz I can see us hanging out some time

Seems like “shoot some kids inside you” would work better.

K, edited💀

My two most reliable for use in the bar: "Nice shoes! Wanna fuck?" "You like pizza? Me too! Let's go get a pizza and fuck." That last one has the best rejection follow-up; "what?!?!?? You just said you like pizza!!!"

"Okay. In-And-Out, then?"

We both got buckets of chicken, wanna do it?

Here's one for the 0% square: Is that a phone in your back pocket, because that a$$ is calling me!

Or wait, now that I look again, would that be the 100% square? Confused.

Reading through this comments section I can confirm you’re all single

Excuse me. Divorced. So it worked at least once.

Girl are you a minion because my dick just gru

So, how would you like to be executed today

Idk firing squad might be fun, but you cant go wrong with a classic noose

Firing squad by Stormtroopers. It'll take awhile.

My favourite pick up line is: get in the car or im going to hold your entire family hostage

I like the one that goes "roses are red violets are blue i've got a gun get in the van"

Oh yeah, that’s one of my favourites

It's more effective than you may think

"Roses are red, violets are blue, You'll end up in my bed, because I drugged you" /J

You know I always tonight Happiness started with an H. But man, then I met you. Now I know it starts with U.

"It" doesn't start with "U". It starts with "I"

It starts with I then come happiness with U that’s because I love U

Nahh they'll just think you illiterate

Sorry but this is so corny 😭😭

Not tonight

👉+👌, then 🍕?

[This is the best Pickup line](https://www.reddit.com/r/puns/comments/m0m8b4/a_line_of_pick_ups_a_pickup_line_if_you_will/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)

Lovely

Best one is “Get in the car I have a gun”

I'm not a teenager. Please explain.

A pick-up line or chat-up line is a conversation opener with the intent of engaging a person for romance or dating. In that post I was rating them with a % that meant how hard the pick-up line would make me blush. This reddit or, instead of writing a usual pick-up line decided to use 5 time the pickup emoji, to make a line of pickups

It was the images with the %'s that was throwing me off. The TTT works without that though. It's the line of pick up trucks that's the pick up line. Got it. Thank you.

You're welcome!

But does he make you blush ?

no, but he made me laugh

Oh I thought the picture was of a person trying to suppress a burp or something haha

Isekai%

I think no one ever got a 100%

no one got it. I mean, some did but ironically

Are you a pokemon? Cuz I choose you!

technically wrong, we're supposed to hear pickup lines, still we're seeing them. next.

That comment looks familiar

I dont get it

Imagine having to use a pickup line to scare away women

It’s kinda morbid how gross a sub called r/teenagers is.

[Never forget](https://old.reddit.com/r/Drama/comments/djdmd9/we_banned_all_of_rteenagers_and_it_turns_out/)

Jesus fuck

Can someone explain

Roses are red, Violets are fine, You be the 6 And i'll be the 9

r/teenagers is so cringe left the subreddit because of cringe shit posts like this

Op said they were a top/Dom, then the next comment chain down they were ace (asexual), and then told me they were 50.

Op is fuckin weird

Op's trying to get teenagers to hit on them on the internet, "weird" is being nice

does this smell like chloroform?

"What did the author mean by this quote?"

100%

"Do you believe in Santa Clause, or should I dress as someone else while sliding down your chimney?"

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cuz I can see myself in your pants

hey babe you dropped this this is yours

"Will you hold my drink while I go for a shit?"

You can’t hear it tho, as it’s an image. Checkmate.

I’ve got one. You know how I know we’re gonna have sex tonight? *leans in and whispers* ^I’m ^stronger ^than ^you.

Are you a saxophone? Cuz baby, I wanna blow you

Because I want to tell Lisa to stop playing you.

Roses are red violets are blue if this pickup line works I’ll be in bed with you

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

I was I was your toilet.

Hey, baby, are you an angel? Because I'm allergic to feathers.

The fact that nobody upvoted him is outrageous

I did upvote him afer the screenshot

u/sentinel64

they already commented

Dang

My favorite pick-up line: Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?

hey (with religious amount of rizz)

if that gets me far, I ask them for their microsoft teams so we can talk later

100% means that the line is so good that she... runs away?

I don’t get it.

Tbh I immediately thought of Two Trucks by Lemon Demon

Uhh, that's shit.

I'm confused

You've been hit by... you've been struck by... truck...

Hello there!

Can you help me? I need a beer and the bartender is only paying attention to the pretty girls.