T O P
Sponge-Tron

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[deleted]

Flying Dutchman is pretty chill if you give him a chance


Paleodraco

Bingo. Stanley will accidentally kill you, hibernating Sandy will rip you to shreds, and the last one literally wants to eat you.


Zemekis324

I would literally choose anything but the last one


Prof1Kreates

But she'll let you pet Mr. Whiskers


LyheGhiahHacks

Thanks for dredging up the horrific memory of that cat, that I had buried deep for years.


saturnspritr

My SO and I were in college, dropped some acid and after some time, what’s the worst that could happen? Let’s watch this movie for the first time. Certainly made it a memorable experience. Although after the credits rolled, we decided ti watch it all over again, because we were convinced none of it was real.


big_joey_the_sequel

true love.


Diogenes-Disciple

Idk who this Stanley is but he’s creepy looking, why’s he the only tall sea sponge


Useful_Stuff5790

He is SpongeBob cousin and he destroys everything he touch


Dyl-thuzad

I mean, Hibernating Sandy will probably be asleep so as long as you just chill in her tree and don’t make noise you should be fine.


Admirable-Bluebird-4

Yes, but what if I were to protest that I was in fact, the dirty Dan.


Dyl-thuzad

You watched the episode, it’s your funeral.


Mr_nacho67

Well is she awake or sleeping?


Silent-Winner-8427

Not that the Flying Dutchman *won’t* want to eat you, but you can always hide his dining sock.


McDonaldsman599

The last one is small compared to humans


shakino_jones

Sandy is a tiny squirrel. I'm a full grown man. I'd just stomp her out


MotorballPlayer99

Hey no spoilers


Camellonaire

Hells yeah! Stanley is a Square. Total Snoregasm. Sandy Bear Cheeks is unhinged when she’s disturbed from her slumber during hibernation. Also the Mutant Grandma is the creepiest character in the movie hands down. There’s a reason doesn’t make a comeback. Too eerie and unsettling. However the Flying Dutchman has a sense of humor, loves traveling, shows human emotions, and is so down to earth he ascended from the depths of hell at the core of the planet.


naytreox

That wasn't a mutant grabdma. That was just a highly evoloved and specialized frog fish lure


Camellonaire

thanks for correcting me this is why I love Reddit 🤗


naytreox

You are welcome.


GhostOnFire96

But he'll prolly just eat you unless you take his lucky sock


RealConcorrd

Got to agree. SpongeBob’s cousin does try to be nice but his sheer level of incompetence is more dangerous than Patrick’s idiocy, Sandy during hibernation would be an absolute nightmare to anyone not wanting to poke the bear, and we don’t talk about HER. This leave the Flying Dutchman whom isn’t really a bad guy at all.


PJRama1864

Just don’t get on his ship.


Bigdongs

Davy Jones locker honestly looks lit


Miserable-Many-6507

My choice too.


freepickles2you

I don't know he'd just buy your soul for 62 cents


drbox99

24 hours in the Fly of Despair


casey12297

Also I don't remember SpongeBob ever wishing for him to stop being a vegetarian, so I'm probably safe. Worst case, I steal his food shoe


Firey_Piranha2

Dutchman. If I give him a place to crash, and treat him fairly. He's pretty chill minus the potential chance of cannibalism


SonDonut

The what


Firey_Piranha2

How he tried to eat Spongebob, Patrick and Squidward in Shanghaied


Significant_Fly_6050

Is that really cannibalism? They are all sea critters and he's a human ghost


Firey_Piranha2

I mean, last time I checked I'm human


Dat_one_ace

Check again fishboy


Cosmic_Tragedy

Blrbl blrbl


mister_prince

Well maybe the reason he wanted to eat them is because they werent human. So you might be safe.


RowBowBooty

Then why is your name firey piranha? Checkmante


Firey_Piranha2

Touchè


Significant_Fly_6050

Yes but we've yet to see dutchy try to eat another human/ghost


slyywalker

But who says he would want to eat a human


Significant_Fly_6050

Exactlyyyy


dekrant

“Hey guys. So things aren’t working out. It’s not you, so much as it’s me.” “You’re setting us free?” “Actually, I’m just going to eat you. See you at dinner.”


Jpicklestone8

yknow who else is pretty chill minus the potential chance of cannibalism?


xwrecker

And scares


Its_Helios

Bottom two are a deathwish lmfao


RayanH23

It depends are you the same size as Sandy? Or is she just a buffed squirrel while you yourself are a human sized human?


Username854051

If we’re human sized then I’d pick one of the two on the right


spugeti

even as a human i wouldn’t want to spend time with a buff squirrel who has anger issues


anythingMuchShorter

Being smaller doesn’t mean safe. If a buffed squirrel is anything like a badger you’d be fucked.


Sophia724

Well, Sandy won't hurt you if you let her sleep.


Mission-Read-4384

If you blink the wrong way she’ll be on your ass


Sophia724

No, thats Patrick thinking you're a spider.


Nat_Higgins

In a cosmic sort of way, so is Stanley


N21DS

what was the bottom right


DuskDawnOwl

From the Movie. Was bait by a big fish that tried to eat them.


ItsactuallyEminem

I mean... according to the movie the monsters are chill if you vibe with them


ImVerySmolHelpPls

As long as you don’t wake Sandy, she’s hibernatin’.


QuirkyTemperature205

But in the picture she's awake


SkylandersKirby

It was just the first picture I found, she would be asleep unless you woke her


GoatCheese74

Oh so sandy then


Mr-Sister-Fister21

Who you callin’ Pinhead?


QuirkyTemperature205

Ok I'm going with sandy


Gloomy_Magician_536

I sleep a lot, so I think we'll be ok together, lol.


Boner_All_Day1337

Go away, natin'.


radium_eater

dutchy💯


Global-Crew-9046

Discount SpongeBob. I forgot his name.


Sumasuun

That's a mistake. He ruins everything. Like, literally things exploded in flames around him.


Nooneimportant-0

But spongebob never died. Could use this to your advantage. Got a friend you want to distance yourself from? Bring Stanley. Need to get time off work? Stanley can help.


Phantom_Beef

Well Spongebob can't die to be fair.


UltmitCuest

Neither can I. Havent died yet, no reason to assume i can or will die


EpicRedditor34

You don’t have Roberts resilience though. He took Flat’s best punches with no difficulty.


[deleted]

Stanley


AnythingEmotional461

That's spongebob's cousin, Stanley. He destroys everything he touches, like, Mr.Krabs literally sent him to destroy the chum bucket, and for what i remember, the building exploded in flames


damselinadress187

Pass me the Dutchie


nightmare_silhouette

'Pon di left hand side, you say?


Voltage385

Nice


GamelessOne

Stanley. I give him the task of spending the next 24 hours using my financial information to make me dirt broke, and I end up becoming a trillionaire 😎


Sumasuun

Unfortunately he ruins everything. He doesn't fail at everything. So you'd still lost your money, and probably in a worse way than you could possibly expect.


GamelessOne

How, the toon force logic that whatever task he’s explicitly given and sets out accomplish he fails at miserably? He tried doing literally nothing with Patrick and he couldn’t do it lol. Based on what we’ve seen, if he gets the task of making me as poor as possible, he would either have no affect or make me incredibly rich.


Weeb__Warrior

toon force logic would follow that the schemer ends up in downfall, not just that it's against the wishes of Stanley. He would end up trying to make you broke, and succeed and you'd be miserable, with him actually being proud that he succeeded in something for once. The idea isn't that he does the opposite of what you tell him, it's that he brings disaster wherever he goes


PolarBal

This back and forth was very amusing to read


Weeb__Warrior

I'll have you know this is an extremely serious discussion about totally serious fictional characters


Jonasm501

Invest your money in Chum Bucket shares! -This reply was sponsored by Sheldon J. Plankton


JbBoss05

Stanley is a walking hazard 24/7, definite no Granny will just try to eat me. Again, hard pass Hibernating Sandy is a major threat, but if I just don’t wake her up I’ll be fine, and she was a fairly heavy sleeper in that episode, I like my chances Flying Dutchman is the clear pick though, dude can be pretty chill, but if he does start threatening me, as long as I meet his demands I’ll be ok. SpongeBob and Patrick survived him and they’re idiots, I’m slightly less of an idiot


WonderfulBlackberry9

I’m also going with Dutchie because he’s a pretty cool dude and I imagine I’d be a better pirate crew than SpongeBob and Patrick in Shanghaied. Same as you, I’m banking on myself to not be an idiot.


[deleted]

The Flying Dutchman is the least dangerous here tbh.


BOX5467

What episode is bottom right?


just_that_one_pillow

The first movie


BOX5467

Okey


Sumasuun

It's a death wish in case you don't recall.


CaptainHazama

But I can pet Mr. Whiskers


KingPhilipIII

That scene traumatized me as a child.


Sometwatsreddit

Sanndy, as long as I don't wake her I'll be fine.


Serious_Goose5368

"I know if I wake her, I'll wake up...dead"


Sometwatsreddit

Best not to wake her then, or maybe do each To Their Own I guess.


Sophia724

The only way I could survive Stanly is to scold him and drive him away, but that's cheating and mean. The gummy grandma is a guaranteed demise. If I'm quiet, I can survive hibernation Sandy. If the Dutchman wants to eat me, I just need his sock and do the three wishes game, but if he just wants to scare me, I'll manage. I go with Dutchy


Getlucky12341

Bottom right, I'll probably die but I'll get to pet Mr. Whiskers.


Tazz_the_Spawn

Dutchman can be chill and reasonable and would be fun to hang around specially if you like scaring and messing with others you would get along with him and if things go south just take his sock


yeet-my-existence

Dutchman seems pretty chill, ngl


SpongeBobCuddles

The Flying Ducthman, hands down. He's a genuinely cool dude who just needs some friends. Meanwhile, Stanely will destroy everything you own without even trying, Sandy is gonna maul you the minute who decide to wear a cowboy hat, and you'd be hanging out with the bones thinking to be with the "lady". I dont even know if shes selling real ice cream!


ForgottenTip

hibernating sandy, just don't be an ass.


ML4Bzero

And you got air to breath.


ForgottenTip

easy win


Narrew82

Just tell Sandy you’re NOT Dirty Dan or Pinhead Larry. Don’t steal her fur either.


chonkypug123

Flying Dutchman


MAARP88

The Dutchman is the best bet


Cherry_Crystals

The first one. Dutchman is pretty chill if you let him squat in your home lol


CaramelTurtles

Sandy, easy. I just gotta shut the fuck up


bigguys45s

Dutchman.


powerpufflover

Flying Dutchman for sure, he’s so easy to distract if he tries anything on me lol


Capinondo

The first one. Not afraid of ghosts. And maybe I can befriend him.


StateOdd296

The only right answer here is The Flying Dutchman


jabluszko132

2 or 4 considering their size compared to humans.


NeoxthePan

Sandy, don't wake her up and just cuddle.


weeb_with_gumdisease

Sandy. I’m a human, humans are bigger and stronger then squirrels, eventfully she’ll tire out, or be dead/ badly hurt. I’ll probably be bloody AF, and need some shots afterwards, but GG easy. Alternatively, the Flying Dutchman. Get some holy water and prayers, maybe even a crucifix. BAM! GG easy


defiant234

The Flying Dutchman


Pretty_princess1996

Flying Dutchman, definitely


JesseAster

Flying Dutchman. He's like, the least dangerous one here


Sumasuun

Flying Dutchman is pretty chill depending on the situation. There's the sock and wishes, him crashing at my place if his ship needs fixing, or helping him in some other way. Generally he's cool though. Sandy you need to keep quiet, and it did likely be cold from her hibernating during winter, but it's not bad. Since she's awake in the picture I just need to get her comfy enough to sleep and just let her be. Both acceptable. Granny is instant death. Stanley ruins everything, and makes things horrible beyond imagination so 24 hours you'd probably be homeless, broke, and with a massive debt and then some.


ClassicAd8496

Dutchman. Although if I am just quiet and don’t wake up Sandy then I’m good


kjm6351

Flying Dutchman is the easiest to deal with. You can chill with him or you can trick him. The other three are constantly on Demon Time


TinyPossum78

The Dutchman is just lonely, so honestly I can let him crash on the couch as long as he doesn't leave his dermatitis flakes everywhere


liphttam1

Anything but the Dutchman. I can fight a squirrel. A soponge or a fish pose little threat to me on dry land. I don't need to mess with a ghost.


Whatever1314

Would Sandy be able to hurt a regular sized human even in that state? I see her punching and kicking me but I’ll just put her in a cup.


antivn

Choose for what? Are they my friend or foe?


joesphisbestjojo

Dutchy


Stellermeerkat

Hibernating Sandy is a cake walk (If she starts off sleeping.) People seem to be forgetting that Dutchy WILL make your life a living nightmare for the 24 hours. Human eyeballs in your food, Spiders crawling out of your orifices and so on. SpongeBob only got bored after multiple days or weeks of his shtick. Dutchy is only viable if you can afford to pay a therapist enough to get their kids out of college debt free.


CraaZero

24 hours with Sandy. Shoot, I'll sleep for 24 hours myself too


_ASG_

Sandy won't wake up if you don't make noise. I think I can chill for a day.


No_Seaworthiness5445

I chill with the flying Dutchman and keep him happy by humoring with mythology and sea lore I know as well as introduce him soda and rum.


Atillion

I'm finna be on that ghostly crew!! Holy shit.. I tried to say gonna, but autocorrect failed successfully for I've! *Once.. goddamn it


hollowpotato-of-doom

Could someone remind me who the guy on the top left is?


AnonymousChonk

Wouldn't hibernating Sandy just be..... Hibernating?


evildragonzockt

I take spongebobs cousin and dont let him Touch anything or the flying dutchman cause He will just try to scare me


Its_Sentinel

Honestly I wanna chill with the Dutchman on his ship, dude probably tells awesome stories


Babybluntzfo7

Dutchman


Pauvre_de_moi

A Dutch with Dutchman


FNAF1fan

is sandy sleeping?


AybruhTheHunter

I am much larger than a squirrel


SergeantSprinklez22

Flying Dutchman will give you nightmare fuel for quite some time. But eventually you will be desensitized to all his tricks. The catch is that he'll be like a freeloader afterwards but it's better than having Stanley or hibernation Sandy


tyingnoose

The grandma looks nice I'll take her


cultistwithadartgun

Terrifying, death, death, or death Gotta go with the Dutchman.


dangforgotmyaccount

Dutchy of course. Cool guy if you give him a chance.


Brave_Banana8037

Bottom right will do for me


Nat_Higgins

The Flying Dutchman. Even though his constant attempt to scare me would get grading, he is the most harmless of all of them.


iallaisi

Dutchman alllll the way. I’d bring some weed and we can just chill and talk about life


Thissssguy

Probably Sandy. She’ll leave you alone if you just don’t wake her.


Smooth_Chair_4949

Dutchman is a pretty chill.


Digitally_Awesome

Probably the old lady, she seems like she would have some iced cream to share


N21DS

well i only know hibernating sandy and i sure wouldn't pick her


Electro_birb_123

1. Dutchman because he's pretty chill 2. Stanley because he hasn't really killed someone but he could probably cause a death by accident 3. Hibernating Sandy because if I just left her alone to sleep then I could be fine but like one fart and I'm dead 4. Fake grandma because that monster can just chase and eat me


TheColonCrusher98

4. I don't wanna live anymore.


Cruisin134

wait was stanely a villian of sort i dont actually remember him vividly


Professor_Odd

Tbh I feel like if you stay on Dutchman's good side he's not all that bad


Gubgoob

dutch daddy


Osiri551

Was gonna say stay cause at least he *means* well, but people bring up good points for the Dutchman


Unknown_User_66

Sandy and I are both Texans, and here she's in full Southern Mom mode. We'll get along just fine.


BOBULANCE

Well, you gotta consider that Stanley and Sandy are both much smaller than a human. Seeing as Sandy doesn't have rabies, I think I could probably last an hour with an angry squirrel.


booglnoodl

Offer declined


MegaKabutops

The flying dutchman. He’ll traumatize me for life, but stanley has very strong odds of killing me by accident, and the bottom two will just straight up kill me on purpose immediately.


AllZeSaucFromZeFauc

Flying Dutchman, we’d probably play cards or watch tv lol


Scholar_Erasmus

Sandy, I'll just let her sleep lmao


brainyart050722

Flying Dutchman. He’s pretty cool. Even if he actually wants to kill you, if you are annoying enough, he will send you back to where you came from.


Superstinkyfarts

Flying Dutchman seems like he'd be pretty chill if you just don't make deals with him or annoy him for minutes on end.


SpooderBoi1233

The Flying Dutchman isn’t that bad, worst case scenario he vores me


WildFemmeFatale

Eh why not Gimme all four at the same time. Im bored.


scarletshamir

Flying Dutchman but also Sandy because I can be quiet. 😂


itsdotrider

did y’all forget how small they are


EggplantHuman6493

I miss the flying Dutchman:(. I haven't seen him in anu of the most recent episodes


kat1883

Obviously the Flying Dutchman. He seems kinda cool when he’s more chilled out. Imagine smoking weed with him.


Serious_Goose5368

The Dutchman obviously.


bunnyyfoofoo

Dutchman can teach me some sick knots while we’re hanging out so probably him. Hibernating Sandy would probably be chill too if I just left her alone to sleep.


TardisOwner82

All four. I’d have each of them bound, gagged and collared within six minutes then by 12 minutes they’d be calling me master after I take the gags off


CJAdams1107

I'd go with either Stanley or Dutchman


bsanchey

The Flying Dutchman and be part of his ghostly crew. Ledle ledle ledle le


SkeletonLordDimy

Dutchman seems totally chill to hang out with if you approach the situation properly. Hibernation Sandy will surely kill me if i wake her. Monster Granny will ABSOLUTELY murder me. Who's the guy on the top right, and how is he dangerous? (I haven't caught up to recent SB seasons)


juls300

Sandy. Just let her sleep


Ghostbuster_119

Sandy, just shut the hell up and you can be dirty Dan. I'm gonna sit over here in the corner quietly... shit maybe I can get some sleep too.


123Ark321

Who the hell is long SpongeBob?


Bluedino_1989

Dutchman


Imjusthere_sup

I like flying Dutchmen I think he’s misunderstood


Scorched_Knight

Most of them small enough to crush with my left arm.


Muscalp

[Like me, you might be one of the few who can use mangekyo sharingan… But there *is* a catch](https://youtu.be/1aRNNC9DI94)


[deleted]

Flying Dutchman, obv


memelord793783

Who tf is even considering the bottom 2 they'll fucking kill you stately will probably cause an accident and kill you flying Dutchman easy I may shit my pants but I'll live


profesdional_Retard

The tall spongebob who's name i can't remember. I choose him simply because he's like me: everything he touches, even when only being nearby, something always breaks.


harmonyjewl

Flying Dutchman all the way


ThatIslandGuy8888

Dutchman, definitely Dutchman


Nope_Not_A_Stan

I want ice cream


idk590

Dutch man he's a pacific deep down there


JuicyGrapeSauce

Flying Dutchman for sure. He can be chill if you work with him. Clueless people would pick the grandma but they would be dead for sure.


Meg4tron420

dutch man cause he seem kinda chill


MayuKonpaku

Sandy. Let her sleep and you will keep the top of your head unlike Patrick