"All he did was secretly take a few pics up a woman's skirt." - Eric probably


"All he did was press a button on his phone, and now he's facing prison"


Richard Barnett (guy in picture) turned down a plea deal that would have likely resulted in approximately 5 years in prison. Instead, he now faces up to 20 years in prison. He’s 62 years old. Yikes…


Reminds me of an old quote from Kenesaw Mountain Landis handing out a sentence to an old bank robber "30 years" "Your honor, I'm 75 years old, I don't have 30 years to serve" "Then do the best you can"


The same *Baseball Commissioner* Keyshawn Mountain Landis who banned Shoeless Joe Jackson from playing baseball in 1920. No fucks given, that guy. No surprise with a name like that.


I'm going to refer to him as Keyshawn from now on lmao


Lol damn autocorrect I am going to leave it 😂


Kennesaw Mountain Landis was a bad motherfucker. He was seventeen feet tall and had a hundred and fifty wives. He didn't do that much except he saved the game of baseball, he put two and two together and he noticed it was four, and the treachery of Shoeless Joe can't hurt us any more, and he'll always be remembered as ~~Kennesaw~~ Keyshawn Mountain Landis.


PantsyFants, I believe you might be the wearer of the fanciest of pants. In fact, I'm willing to bet you're the best in terms of pants.


He was an ASSSSSSSSHOOOOLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEE. Dude took his God complex from being a federal judge and carried it over to baseball commissioner, a feature which has remained in place to the Manfred Era.


>a feature which has remained in place to the Manfred Era. This part isn't true; every commissioner since Landis has been carefully chosen to be a creature of the owners (and one of them was one). Every shitburger decision the commissioner makes is really just taking the flak for the owners. Landis though, they hastily gave absolute power to because that was the only condition under which he would take the position, and they desperately needed to clean up the game. It actually nearly broke the American League, whose autocratic president Ban Johnson rankled at the prospect of having an overlord. He only accepted Landis when 4 of the AL teams made a deal to join the NL.


That's glorious.


Any decent attorney will tell you when the fed comes with a deal you negotiate and take it. If they take you to court you are fucked.


Well, you can tell he didn't have a decent attorney given that his defense was that he just got caught up in it all. I mean, if your defense is that fucking stupid, then you'd be better of representing yourself. But Barnett is clearly a complete fucking idiot and he's going where he belongs.


I feel like the original idea was to slow the justice system, and failing that provide room for appeal. A lot of the Jan 6 participants are betting pretty heavily on a future Trump-like president that pardons them all


Yeah. They're still under the illusion that there are politicians who actually care about them.


I mean, of a pardon buys a vote, the party that worked so hard to kill off their own voters during a global pandemic might consider it.


That’s not how it works though, they don’t want more people voting for them, they just want less voting for the other guys.


& in a D.C. court, no less. ![gif](giphy|mcH0upG1TeEak)


What was amusing was hearing his lawyer saying he was going to appeal on the grounds that his client didn't receive a trial by a jury of his peers. . . . . .on the grounds the trial was in Washington D.C. and that he's from thousands of miles away in another state, so the trial couldn't be fair. Jury trials do NOT work that way. His lawyer wants to appeal on the grounds that he thinks Article III, Section 2 of the US Constitution is unconstitutional.


It's not even like it was forum-shopped. He was tried in DC because his crime was in DC. It's such a bizarre argument. If you shoplift as a tourist in NYC the NYPD doesn't have to spend thousands of dollars flying the cop that caught you to your trial in Nebraska. You're tried in NYC. It's all so stupid.


>Sixth Amendment >In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by **an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed**, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence. Are these the same folks that make a ruckus about how "wall of separation between Church and State" is not in the Constitution? Neither is "jury of your peers", and, in any case, the peerage they are talking about isn't your homies back in Podunk.


Yeah, but then they’ll say that DC isn’t a state. So game, set, match! /s


I wonder what that *D* stands for?


Gotta be pretty desperate or deranged to take this guy as a client. ​ Can you tell me why you need legal assistance? *I allegedly broke into the capital building during an attempted insurrection.* Did you? *Shows this photo.* Well I don't see how that could be a problem. Are you willing to pay in advance?


"The People just need to hear about my plight, and, surely, they'll take my side!"


This guy and his lawyer just CONTINUE to shit talk Nancy Pelosi during his trial too. I'm gonna love when he gets sentenced.


People need to read everything he’s accused of. He did more than sit in a chair. Seditious bastard


Of course he did.. Republicans tried to spin the insurrection as a bunch of tourists...


I am not a lawyer but I've worked with them for over a decade. The feds don't fuck around. They offered him a plea deal because it's cost-effective. Not because they think there's any chance they lose the case. If he turned it down, they'll bury him.


I'm sure he still believes he will get a pardon from Trump.


Honestly a little surprised he didn't. Based on my education -- the podcast "Con Law" with Roman Mars --- old Orange Hair could've given a blanket pardon to everyone involved. He just hung 'em out to dry. ETA: I'm seeing a lot of people saying the president can't pardon someone who hasn't been convicted. Or charged. I looked it up: it's not true. [A federal pardon must be granted after the commission of a crime, but there are no other temporal requirements.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federal_pardons_in_the_United_States) Notably, Gerald Ford pardoned Richard Nixon for all crimes relating to Watergate before any criminal charges were filed. That included crimes committed that hadn't yet been discovered.


The fact that all these people are so willing to throw their lives away for Trump, who doesn't give half a fuck about them at best (and at worst, [is actively disgusted by them](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-election-2020/trump-mob-capitol-riots-poor-low-class-b1785099.html)) is so baffling.


Yep, these are people who would literally be escorted off the grounds of his shitty golf resort immediately and somehow they’re willing to die for a man who wouldn’t deign to piss on them if they were on fire. Right wing media is a hell of a drug


>is so ~~baffling~~ funny. ftfy


If would be a lot funnier if it didn't have such horrible potential consequences for society.


And he might die there but the important question is what am I going to have for breakfast??


Let’s talk about the real issues… like how I can’t go to a gas station to mix coke and Pepsi in the fountain but I can buy individual bottles of each at the same gas station and mix them at home. No gas station in my county has both on fountain. It’s big soda-spiracy that turns convenience stores into INCONVENIENCE stores.


You don't mix coke and Pepsi. You mix 60% cherry coke with 40% root beer.


Which brand of root beer? This feels pretty crucial to the whole equation.


Barqs, and if neither cherry coke or barqs are available, you do 60% dr pepper and 40% regular coke


You have much soda knowledge to share. Tell us more oh wise one


Is that you Soda Yoda?


Fuck, kinda makes me wanna change my username now


Yoda Pop?


Right? Im trying not to drink as much soda now this guy has me wanting to try mixing them. I remember little league days getting different Powerade colors and mixing them. Stuff was good but I don't remember the exact mixtures


A man is about to die in prison, and all you can think about is your breakfast??? What about my breakfast???


And then what about everyone's second breakfast? And elevensies?


Our breakfast


... comrade


I bring potato, you bring potato, we feast!


I've got like 6 eggs can i come too if I bring them?


Six eggs? Ok your majesty


I'm feeling adventurous. How about Waffle House?


Too early in the day to watch a fist fight.


I've never been to a Waffle House and I feel like I'm missing out.


I recommend watching when Anthony Bourdain discovered Waffle House. Such a great clip


Thanks for committing this. It was like seeing an old friend. I forgot how much I missed listening to him.


I could care less about anyone even slightly famous, but bourdain hurt. He was a comforting constant, related to his struggles and so saddening to see him lose to them


My Waffle House had a [double homicide! ](https://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/man-convicted-davie-waffle-house-shooting-death-row-new-sentencing/164878/)


Ooooh, that's spicy for a waffle house


Oh my God! Jealous!!! Mine sucks. They recently paved the parking lot. Booorrring!


Be the change you want to see in life. Go start that fist fight!


Make sure it’s with another patron though. I wouldn’t dare go after the staff, cuz they team up


And apparently take chairs to the face like it ain’t no thing lol


You should head to Waffle House right now.




This fucking idiot has probably complained that his attorneys are all liberal and want him to go down cuz he is a patriot.






Oh that's a big yikes. It's absolutely someone's right to take the stand if they want to--it's constitutionally protected and I'm here for it. But I'm sure his lawyers were like, OK you can do this but know that you are totally fucked if you do. I don't feel sorry for this dude.


This whole thing just gets funnier and funnier the more details I read about how this unfolded from this idiot's "moment of triumph" to now. Amazing.


doing 20 to own the libs


Well, well, well… if it isn’t the foreseeable consequences of my actions


Who would have thought violently assaulting police officers, blowing past multiple barricades, and occupying a government building with the clearly stated goal of murdering sitting members of congress would have consequences. I just don't see how we got here. I can't connect the dots. It's crazy.


Well, at least he went down owning the libs


No more freedom, voting, or guns for him. I feel so owned.


I really don't know how I will recover from this ownage


In fact, I'd like to see more of this sort of ownage. Because I'm a masochist.


Retirement plan


Being a right wing conspiracist MAGA trump supporting election denying old person who attempted an insurrection, and broke into the speaker of the house's office to take a narcissistic selfie and then go against your own counsel advice and get 4 times the sentence you were offered... Seems on brand.


Don’t forget— he also had a cattle prod.


Well fuck him then. Obviously he didn’t gain any wisdom in his 62 years of life.


Yep, born stupid and didn't learn anything along the way


Right, because he didn’t break into the capitol building, while carrying a weapon and interfering with a congressional hearing (as others have pointed out, not just any old congressional hearing either), and then destroying property and stealing things so he could sit in that chair.


And Jeffrey Dahmer was just a guy with a fridge. Nobody is safe! /s


I know, right? Damn snowflake libs want to ban being a foodie! /s


To be fair, Dahmer used a gas stove to prepare his fine cuisine. He deserved what he got. /s


The riot interrupted more than a hearing. It interfered with (and attempted to stop) the peaceful transfer of executive power and put lawmakers in fear for their lives.


Coup attempt. Insurrection. Violent revolt. Attempted fascist takeover. Etc. NOT "riot"


Peaceful protest. They have a right to express their feelings this way, even if it does mean forceful unlawful entry, violence, property damage, and threatening to hang the Vice President and speaker of the house. Oh, but those people blocking highways need to be killed straight away, and the people picketing outside of private property must be met with riot gear and chemical weapons. We must not allow their heinous actions. /s Edit: Poe’s law


I always try to look at what would the other party do in this case. The Republicans would be calling for death penalty’s and would want Biden locked up forever. It is the biggest hypocrisy I have seen. Just imagine how Hannity or Tucker would handle this on their shows if the Dems did the exact same thing.


You’re spot on. Luckily Hannity & Co are busy now explaining why they lied about the voting machines that were never used and that’s going to cost Murdoch 1bn$ or even more…


And stealing mail! Thats another federal offense




they only care about the pre-born children - post born children can go fuck themselves.


The GOP stands united against children fucking themselves!! \*Insert link to long ass list of GOP pedophiles here*


I think the republicans would rather fuck them.


He’s only 62! He’s just young and stupid!


Lord, don't say that to a Republican. Being around children elicits a whole different kind of response.


Oh, all he did was sit down? Well sure Twitter man, I'm sure that's the whole story.


What would happen if I broke into his house and sat on Twitter man's chair? That's right, Castle doctrine at play and first degree burglary.


at first I thought you were talking about Elon and was kinda confused where that rhetoric came from goddamn I hate that guy. need to stop letting him live rent-free in my brain parts.


I misread that last phrase as "brain pants," and I immediately had questions.


They forgot he also took part in a riot, trespassed in the literal Capitol building, had a stungun with him, and took an envelope from her desk. Easy mistake to make.


No no, he teleported inside, sat down, and teleported back out. So honestly I don’t see why he doesn’t just teleport out of jail


Ironically, even if he did teleport, he still would have been guilty of most of the crimes he was charged with. D'oh!


That sounds like some woke left wing radical conspiracy! **MAKE M&Ms FUCKABLE AGAIN!!** Gaahhhhhhh outrage!!!


I think we're beyond the "riot" narrative. It was an insurrection. Let's call it what it was.


Heh. We still can't get these bozos to admit they were doing anything other than "touring" the Capitol Building.


That’s a conservative shitposting account.


ALL Conservative accounts are shitposting accounts.


The entire conservative platform is shitposting.


In fairness, first some Fox went #1 on it before they went #2.


Exactly this. Finding a conservative account that is not full of misinformation, outright lies, projection, or total hypocrisy is harder than getting hit by lightning several times on the same spot on different days.






And Twitter is becoming a conservative shitposting platform.


And is why people need to get off of it.


That’s why I just ended my account. Elon responds to their stupid tweets with another stupid tweet


Spoke to a friend in the ad industry. A lot of advertisers are reducing their spend on Twitter for this very reason. It might take time but Elon’s soapbox seems to be in the beginning of a death spiral.




Well, Tesla stock has been a pretty good indicator of how bad he's doing at Twitter in a hilarious way.


Synopsis of the story - Bigo is going to the Big House. The final chapter in FAFO. Who doesn't like a happy ending.


Dudes a deadbeat from Arkansas. He also took a letter and left her a note. There’s a video of him talking about it somewhere


"Nancy, Bigo was here, you Bitch." Now his lawyers are saying that he actually wrote “[Biatch](https://lawandcrime.com/awkward/capitol-rioter-who-said-he-called-nancy-pelosi-a-b-now-claims-he-only-called-her-a-biatch/),” which I guess is less offensive or something.


Barnett was found guilty of the following charges: • 18:231(a)(3); Civil Disorder • 18:1512(c)(2) and 2; Obstruction of an Official Proceeding and Aiding and Abetting • 18:1752(a)(1) and (b)(1)(A); Entering and Remaining in a Restricted Building or Grounds with a Deadly or Dangerous Weapon • 18:1752(a)(2) and (b)(1)(A); Disorderly and Disruptive Conduct in a Restricted Building or Grounds with a Deadly or Dangerous Weapon • 40:5104(e)(2)(C); Entering and Remaining in Certain Rooms in the Capitol Building • 40:5104(e)(2)(D); Disorderly Conduct in a Capitol Building • 40:5104(e)(2)(G); Parading, Demonstrating, or Picketing in a Capitol Building • 18:641; Theft of Government Property But yeah all he did was "sit on a chair"


The entering and remaining charge is funny to me because it implies there is just an entering charge


Yeah it’s $5 at the door


2 brain cell maximum.


Remaining charges kick in after you ignore the third "Hey get outta there!"


And “certain rooms”- would it have been a lesser charge if he’d just plopped in the hallway? (I get why, it’s still funny) ETA: y’all I fully understand both generally and in context what “certain rooms” means, I just find the phrasing amusing. It’s simultaneously overly generalized and yet oddly specific.


The "certain rooms" is not the long sentence part. It's the "deadly or dangerous weapon" charges which earned him the bulk of his time. Without looking it up, I'd assume that carried a heavier sentence than even the theft charge.


Yeah, the only reason they're hitting him with that one is that he turned down the plea deal they offered him. I feel pretty sure the prosecutors went, "Oh, you don't want our plea deal? Fine, let's see what we can come up with to stick it to you." Or, maybe more accurately, they tried to get him to take the plea by saying "If you don't take the plea deal, look at all this stuff we will charge you with!" and when he turned it down, they basically followed through on what they said they'd do.


“I’m a Christian,” he reportedly added. “It just wasn’t good. It wasn’t who I am.” Of course.


Isn't getting punished to the full extent of the law one the crucial parts of Christ's story? edit: I was making a gentle joke, please save your explanations for Bible study




Seeing as they [the average conservative American] don't care for the majority of what Jesus was preaching, I doubt they'll have a problem with discarding this one as well.


The party of LAW and order really seems upset that the laws on the books are being upheld


Feeling cute. Might commit treason later


Why is my client guilty of murdering his wife with a gun? All he did was move his finger a tiny bit and now he's on death row.


It’s her fault for walking around the corner of HIS house into the line of fire.


It’s the exact same pathological dishonesty that we see when they complain about being persecuted for “different opinions,” without mentioning that this “different opinion” is blatant bigotry.


"I'm being persecuted for my beliefs! ... Specifically my belief that I can attempt to overthrow the government and face no consequences for it!"


"How dare you be intolerant of my right to freedom of speech!" Just because I don't agree with you, it doesn't mean I am impeding on your rights, especially those that the government facilitates and have nothing to do with me as a private citizen.


Republicans: You can’t just ban Milo Yiannopoulus from speaking just because you disagree with what he has to say. All speech needs to be protected, and to censor any speech is a violation of the first amendment! Also republicans: *bans Milo Yiannopoulus from speaking at CPAC because of the horrible things he said.


>Republicans: You can’t just ban Milo Yiannopoulus from speaking just because you disagree with what he has to say. All speech needs to be protected, and to censor any speech is a violation of the first amendment! Also republicans: You can't talk about pronouns, the gays, the drag queens, ABORTIONS, socialism, the vaccine, covid, sexless green M&M's, etc.


Also republicans: burn books that they don’t agree with, ban books from schools and libraries, ban teachers from bringing books to school unless they are on the “approved books” list.


ESPECIALLY the banning teachers part. You can't be all "the freedom of speech should be protected," but as soon as one teacher makes a joke about pledging to the pride flag, they get kicked out of the school. It's pathetic, frankly.


And she didn't even die from being shot, she died from bleeding out! This was totally unrelated!


In my state if someone broke into my house and sat on my furniture they could get a minimum of 10 years in prison. So... Edit: ok I am wrong. 😞 According to a lot of the replies, my house is different than the office of a politician. I guess what you are all saying is that it is ok to go into the office of a politician because it's on public property?


Or shot to death.


That's silly, furniture can't use guns. They have arms, not hands


Exactly , they're armed


As is their right.


Only “bear arms” though, no other type of arms.


My furniture is made exclusively from bear parts. It’s from the Johnny Bearkill collection.


Cuz you can't have "bare arms" (or shoulders) if you're a woman in Missouri and represent the state....


I have an arm chair, I think if I gave it a gun it'd be an armed chair


You only get shot to death if you're sitting on your own furniture eating ice cream and a drunk cop named Amber Guyger breaks into your house and shoots you because everything in the whole world belongs to Amber.


Jesus I forgot about that. Talk about some purely Kafkaesque shit. 😞


Her appeal was literally "I thought I was in my home, so I thought I was defending my home. This makes me not culpable for murder." She was originally arrested on manslaughter chargers, but those got upgraded to murder. The judges rejected her appeal. The DA said something like, "If you shoot an unarmed man, sitting on a couch, eating ice-cream, that is murder. It doesn't matter where you think you are." She is eligible for parole next year.


I looked it up and couldn’t believe she only got 10 years on a murder conviction! Fucking bullshit with these cops, it never ends.


If this man was in a home office, any gun owning Republican would put 10 bullets into this guy before he gets a word out.


Going by right wing rules the police had every right to shoot and kill many of these criminals. Funny how now they say "stand your ground" does not apply to police officers protecting the Vice President in the Capitol.


One of them went out feet first.


Let someone break into Mar A Lago and sit in trumps chair and see how he feels about it.


Might find some bonus classified documents while they're at it.


You can do a little treason, as a treat.


It's not public property. It's government property. You can't just walk into a military base either.


Sure you can! Once


The same crowd that twists themselves into pretzels excusing cops murdering unarmed black men for losing at a twisted version of Simon Says.


Or for being in their own house when the cops break in during a no-knock raid, or for being in their friends house, or for being in their own house when the cop comes home from work and forgets which house they live in, then gets mad when the person living there doesn’t obey their commands. Or sometimes they are in their house when the cops are looking for them, waking up confused during the raid, and when the cops go to send a K-9 into their room the releasing officer negligently discharges their pistol into them, and instead of rendering aid to a person that they just shot for no reason, they cuff the dying person while yelling at them to stop resisting and let them bleed to death while they continue to search.


Unless you are in Indiana: https://thesocialtalks.com/latest-news/indiana-law-allows-citizens-to-shoot-police-officers/


Good luck making it to court if you legally shoot a cop.


Anyone saying it’s “public property” is willfully ignorant at this point. Public property is a playground ir park. Federal property is not open to the public unless otherwise stated. You think anyone can just walk into the FBI HQ in DC? Absolutely the fuck not. You think someone can just jump the White House fence? They’d be shot first and questions would be asked later. Every single person who stepped foot onto federal property that day absolutely deserves to be convicted and sentenced to the maximum possible sentence for this. We do not tolerate inssurections. If you want to secede from the US, move the fuck out of this country. Your ancestors likely weren’t even from here anyways.


> We do not tolerate inssurections. I wish I could say this is true, but the way some of these sentencings went, it seems they're tolerated, unless you don't ask for the plea deal. There's no way *any* of these people wouldn't have celebrated had either Pence or Pelosi ended up dead that day. Yet that cow dude gets out at the end of this year.




And if that bitch ate my hot & cold soups, I’d go to every parole hearing.


No, you are not wrong. The people defending this guys actions are wrong. Go visit your local town hall and try and just take over a office for a day and see what happens if you disagree.


The capital was closed to the public. So yea. Trespassing, breaking and entering, threatening sitting Congress Members, attempting to stop a legal election, interfering with the business of Congress. I'm sure there are a few more laws he broke before he sat down.


He didn’t just come into existence sitting in that chair.


So if I break into Maralago and just sit on a chair it's all good?


Just be sure to move all of the classified documents out of the way before taking a seat.


Friendly reminder about Kalief Browder who was arrested when he was 16 and spent three years at Rikers Island without trial… almost two years in solitary confinement, for allegedly stealing a backpack. Can anyone guess the difference between old Dick here and Kalief? [Kalief Browder](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kalief_Browder)


Jesus you make it sound less grim than it actually was Those 2 years in solitary gave Browder crippling mental health issues, he was assaulted for no reason a lot of the time and he killed himself because he couldn’t handle it And he didn’t steal the backpack


Jesus Christ our system is fucking broken


Working as intended more likely. It's discriminatory and racist to say the least


Well, there is also that pesky breaking and entering into a federal building, during a failed coup.


Alright so if you get caught breaking into someone's house, *just sit down*. (Cops HATE this one trick)


And all Charles Manson did was talk.


“All I did was was go looking for politicians to take hostage while armed with a tazer and a knife! I’m not a terrorist, I’m a political prisoner!—A terrorist


All I did is walk into a bank and take some colorful paper- why is everybody mad?


He fucked around and found out I guess.


The party of law and order deciding which laws apply to their side.


Surely this nitwit wouldn’t mind if we busted into his house and did the same thing, right?


Good. Fuck him.


And the funny thing is these wackos were all talked up into thinking they were 'heroes' who's names would be recorded in history. Now he's inmate number #12345. Fuck him.