By - Sinaasappelsien
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I mean what even is the copy trying to say? if the copy doesn't form an image in your head then yes it's bad..
Sun burnt lamb is a pretty compelling image, dontcha think?
I’m with you. I literally have no idea what the copy is trying to say.
Too much art, not enough commerce.
I find this copy pretentious personally. It's stringing together a bunch of pretty words but not saying anything of substance.
The intertextual message it seems to be communicating is "look how cool we are". That's it. That's the whole message. I hate when brands do that crap, it's meaningless and full of pretension.
I remember this vid! Lol. I think it's less about the 'quality of the writing' and more about the 'philosophy of the marketing' here.
The writing itself is just about meaningless, and I think it's because it's just going way too hard into that marketing philosophy of 'selling an idea' rather than selling a product.
It's pretty dumb on its face, precisely because it goes too far into that abstract/visualization/idea-mongering. As a consumer, I *prefer* brands that are a little more 'honest' rather than 'idealistic,' but I'm probably not the target consumer here, and the target consumer may think differently. From a pure 'writing' perspective, though, the copy is descriptive, flowing, has lyricism, and I can't say those things don't count to its credit in creating those basic associations.
Yeah it’s not great. There’s a trend among brands to want to create some sort of abstract image about themselves, then think that people will want their product because they like the image. Cart before the horse and all that. The best image is formed by people liking your product. Lots of companies don’t get that.
Example, there’s an Upwork job I *almost* bid on from a marketing guy looking for someone to write a 3 minute dramatic script. He’s got a filmmaker lined up, plus a full soundtrack, to make a TV “short story” commercial for his client… who is a plumber. He had a portfolio of other commercials he’s made (and sold!) like this for contractors, a construction company, etc. Just minutes and minutes of nothing but flowery writing before even mentioning the name of the company or the service.
But companies buy it. Watch your local commercials and you’ll see it constantly. Heck watch the Super Bowl and every other ad is like that. crypto.com, RAM trucks, Budweiser, etc. I would love to know how effective those ads actually are.
IMO complete tryhard tripe. Reaching for style, lacking any substance.
Read it out loud lol
I can’t help but do it in Historian’s voice
I personally find it to be very wanky. I didn’t watch the video but I looked the product up. It seems like it’s an Australian product owned by Coca-Cola and manufactured by Monster. Unless there’s some sort of deep cultural humor going on here I really don’t get why any of this “copy” is on the can. Just strikes me as very weird. Even the name and product design is weird.
This copy is horrible. It’s ambiguous and way too metaphorical. Without knowing its a drink, I legit don’t even know what they are trying to sell from just reading that.
You can tell that’s bad copy from across the room, just by glancing at it.
1. The long paragraphs ate not inviting.
2. I’m confused from the get-go. There’s no headline. I don’t know what a Southern Cross is. If it’s a place and not a thing, then the sentence is saying that the stars are UNDERNEATH the land.
3. Who is we? A lot of people are living life their own way. Everybody in the world, in fact.
4. Infinite bounds of sun burnt lamb? Is the writer on shrooms? This is nonsensical. I can’t read any further.
i think because the drinks aimed at country-bumpkin-esq australians who'll already be big fans of the southern cross (star constellation in the souther hemisphere and on the australian flag) and hot sun and excessive meat consumption and both also very australian out-back
copy writing and a bit of poetry influenced texts aren't same
I feel like maybe I'm on an island? One that's popular with the surfing lamb crowd maybe? Why else would there be 'infinite bounds of sun burnt lamb and barreling blue swells'?
Sounds like this copy was written by someone who fancies themselves an excellent writer, so they started writing copy. Without understanding that writing literature and writing copy are very different